How do you feel about this article in Daily Mail?

[sunshinesupermum]

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4449464/The-shameful-reason-grandparents-lonely.html

my mother farmed me out to boarding school at 9 so I can at least not feel guilty about the small amount i choose to see her now- she chose the same when i was a small child.
If she was less actively horrible to and about me and my family, we'd see more of her but she is unable to hold back with spiteful comments (and this is a pattern with her former friends too) so she gets the bare minimum. I don't think old age or being a parent in itself earns respect.

Adora why should we hold them in high esteem just for not being dead yet?

I save me high esteem for those that have earned it, whatever their age.

There are plenty of lonely young people too.

Each to their own Ellisandra, it's my personal opinion that nowadays the elderly are not treated with as much respect; it's what I have witnessed.

I hold my parents in high esteem, even if at times my dad can be difficult because I realise one day I will be in my eighties, hopefully and will probably be a pain the arse too.

We're not talking about young people though, I do know that.

My dad didn't spend a great deal of time with his mum in her final years.
She lived to far away for a start. She was also an unpleasant person to be around.
She wouldn't accept any sort of regular help, even though it was needed, instead just put the guilt onto my parents.
She was emotionally abusive to him during his childhood, and it carried on until he married my mum who called her on it.
She was probably someone who would tell stories of loneliness. Never mind picking that a lot of it was totally self inflicted.
Why should my dad, who worked very long hours, feel guilt tripped into spending lots of time with someone who told him he was a very much unwanted accident.
You reap what you sow.
My other grandma - she also lived a reasonable distance from us, but she was a lovely kind women who made a bit of an effort to actually get to know us properly!
Visiting her as she got too old to cope didn't feel like a chore. I only lessened my visits when it was clear she no longer remembered who I was and she was finding it a little distressing.
The writer of the article sounds terribly smug. Lucky for her that her dil clearly doesn't have to work long hours and need the weekend to rest.
😒

Adora - what if your parents didn't love, care, feed or house you though?

That's what ellisandra means. People who have been toxic and abusive to everyone who has ever cared for them can expect to be alone in old age.

I do not hold my parents in high esteem because they are both really quite toxic. I would care for them out of duty in whatever capacity I was able because I don't believe other people should suffer, but I have actually actively hated them since I was a child and that is not likely to change.

At the bit about the "polished" women who had been to finishing school sitting aghast at their grandchildren's table manners.

I would object to being given demands though - the phone works both ways (I speak as a 61 year old with parents aged 84 and 88). I speak to them most days on the phone but don't visit as often as I should I know.

The author doesnt cut any slack to families with 2 full time working parents who by the time they have commuted, done a days work and done all the other essentials of looking after their children on a daily basis, are probably doing 14 hour days or thereabouts and then spend half the weekend shopping and cleaning. Selfish?

My parents are separated and remarried. My dh's parents are as well. We also each have a surviving grandparent. So that is six sets. Four live too far away for a day visit. It is impossible to see them more than 2/3 times a year each without devoting every single weekend and holiday to older people.
That would not be fair on my children. So I know (some) would like more contact but it is beyond my control.

Yes I think a generation ago it wasn't as common for so many women to work, or at least not full time. So maybe weekends could be spent visiting whereas now it may be the only opportunity for housework or shopping.

Plus kids seem to do more activities these days so weekends may be busy with classes or competitions.