I'm separated from my stbxh after 15years. We have 1 dc together but each have an adult child from previous relationship.
When I met H I was a confident successful career woman with my own house. DD and I lived happily. I was very cautious about getting involved with any man and took it really slowly with H. He appeared so gentle and I never thought he could be aggressive.
15 years later I've ended the relationship because his aggression was just escalating. Family have known about the issues for several years however recently I have been talking to friends and when I explain what lead up to separation I find myself reeling afterwards as I realise that I have to accept I have been in an abusive relationship. Maybe it's talking about some of the incidents which I know I haven't exaggerated.
I feel it's almost like shock/denial or some defense mechanism as I can't quite accept that this has really happened.
I guess I have been looking for the 'why' as it seems so pointless, why was H so angry when we could have been so happy? Everything in our life was going well, no financial concerns, great jobs, lovely happy children. It doesn't make any sense.
I can totally understand why women keep returning to a relationship because you start to doubt if it really did all happen.
Has anyone else felt similar after leaving an EA.
I am fortunate that I have a good group of family and friends who are strong in supporting me in the weak times so I won't be going back but my brain seems to be struggling to process it all.
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Relationships
Struggling to accept I have been in an EA relationship
10 replies
Hermonie2016 · 16/12/2016 14:46
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