My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Just discovered DW has been cheating on me

66 replies

SleepingTiger · 30/11/2016 19:00

All I said a few weeks ago was I prefer healthier food to chocolate these days. Of course, DW thinks I am talking out of my American ass.

Go to have one of my Ferrero Rocher's and they have all been eaten and replaced with mini falafels, carefully wrapped back up in the gold foil.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Report
SleepingTiger · 01/01/2017 11:06

UPDATE:

We had a great Christmas and with all folks assembled at ours last night to see in the New Year, DW opened up her own box of Ferrero Rocher (given to her by a customer) that we had intercepted and replaced with raw brussel sprouts wrapped in the foil. thanks for the ideas. Her face was a picture. The torture continues because of the original chocolates none are in fact left! We and all the guests ate them. I know I have to replace them but by Tuesday when the shops are open DW will be on a diet. Xmas Grin

A sad few days in mid December having lost a family friend, but onwards and upwards into 2017, no doubt more pranks and laughs to come.

Happy New Year all. Hope it's playful and light with other things.

OP posts:
Report
amysmummy12345 · 03/12/2016 19:27

😞💐

Report
DianaMitford · 03/12/2016 18:47

Sorry to hear that Sleeping. I hope it's nothing too bad Flowers

Report
SleepingTiger · 03/12/2016 12:37

Sorry everyone, but said prank is deferred due to some family news last night. Not a day for pranks. Maybe one day soon.
Wish you all a good weekend.

OP posts:
Report
StillSmallVoice · 02/12/2016 21:43

My kids are looking forward to the old brown furniture. No money.

Report
thewookieswife · 02/12/2016 21:43

I thought number 1 got 11 or 12 votes ?! Hmm

Report
Itssosunny · 02/12/2016 20:12

Sorry, have mixed up two threads. Blush

Report
SleepingTiger · 02/12/2016 19:00

Oh we are not getting divorced.

Oh no, this kind of thing gives us something to leave to our kids. Stories, legends, not old brown furniture and ill-gained money.
Grin

OP posts:
Report
SleepingTiger · 02/12/2016 18:44

Sleight yes, in fact so much that it came in useful to bluff my way out of a serious incident also.

Daft no, in fact the latest is that due to 'inclement weather' (code from friends about tomorrow night), we may have to postpone the event for two reasons. Firstly, there is a real risk that DW may smell a rat about tomorrow night, because of late changes to others plans (to accommodate her) and secondly we need more input from MN posters to extract the ultimate revenge.

I want to be in Classics!!
Grin

OP posts:
Report
Itssosunny · 02/12/2016 18:07

Number 4 and 5 are bad as during divorce she will use it against you.

Report
DianaMitford · 02/12/2016 17:54

I'm giggling on my own like an absolute idiot at this thread!
Can't WAIT to find out what happens Grin

Oh and 5 has my vote!

Report
DaftMaul · 02/12/2016 17:11

5!

Am I too late? Confused

Report
StillSmallVoice · 02/12/2016 16:44

1

Report
SleightOfMind · 02/12/2016 16:40

1, definitely.
Can you keep a straight face though???

Report
DoItTooJulia · 02/12/2016 16:38

I think revenge is a dish best served cold. Stony cold. There's no rush.

Report
Itsnottheendoftheworld · 02/12/2016 16:34

5 and pictures Grin

Report
NetballHoop · 02/12/2016 16:32

I think you need to replace every chocolate in her advent calendar with a single chickpea.

Report
shallichangemyname · 02/12/2016 16:24

1 and 5 or 1 to 5? 1 and 5 is easy, you can be eating them dressed in your finery?
If you wish to combine all of them: start with 5 and 1 together. Skip to 3 and 4. Your solicitor friend could be your (cross-dressing) "lover" shooting out of the back door (while eating Ferrero Rochers and leaving behind the letter).
Skip to 3, in the middle of the drama you collapse. DW realises how much she loves you, even if you want to be heinously healthy. You live a long (and semi-healthy) life together.....
the end

It's so elaborate I love it.

Report
SleepingTiger · 02/12/2016 16:12

Going to pack up soon to pick up the gold dress on way home tonight.

OP posts:
Report
SleepingTiger · 02/12/2016 16:11

Can anybody think of a way I can combine Options 1-5?

In the manner of John Cleese in that film when he was a teacher. Mind you I am going to have to draw on some inner resources to pull all this off....!

OP posts:
Report
ElizabethHoney · 02/12/2016 15:26

1

Report
shallichangemyname · 02/12/2016 15:14

where's everyone gone fgs???? Can I vote twice? I soooo want you to do this OP! I loves a good wind up, me.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

ShyTallSun · 02/12/2016 14:12

Has to be 5..... Best one of them all.

Report
NotAQueef · 02/12/2016 13:59

5!

Report
MadeForThis · 02/12/2016 13:04

I vote no 5. Grin

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.