What do men really think of make up?

[Myusernameismyusername]

I'm asking this because I am single and I can't really ask a man

I have very bad skin and have had for nearly 15 years. I can't seem to cure it or really treat it (GP's are rubbish) it's all hormonal and have resorted to pretty much covering it in very expensive cover up (like for skin conditions/scarring/vertiligo which is amazing stuff. I don't wear other heavy make up such as big eyes or a lot of blush and try to make it look natural. It's thick but not some bright orange mask that is very obvious.

But I feel like it's a mask and not really the real me. Sooner or later I have to trust and feel comfortable enough with someone to say 'look here is the real me'. And it's not just on my face either although it's not too bad on my body the scarring is embarrassing.

I won't go swimming often and although I haven't had a relationship in a long time if I had sex with someone I would try to get up before they woke up and make it look better before they saw me.

I'm just not sure how much of a deal breaker chronic acne is, or if the thick make up is worse?

I would love to be comfortable in my own skin etc but it can be so overwhelming I don't even like going to work if it is really bad (I do, but I find it hard). I've been quite depressed about it and trying to just get on with it.

I've tried all the 'cures' so that isn't what I am looking for and I can't afford expensive laser treatment but I just wondered what men really think of women's bare naked faces, imperfections and all?

[Myusernameismyusername]

Mine are chin, jaw, back and cleavage area.
Very rarely hairline forehead

[GinAndOnIt]

OP, I saw that stretch mark thread and really hoped you wouldn't see it :(

I really promise though, the right person will not care. In the slightest. I know it seems hard to imagine, and I thought the same for years, but as a PP said - look at it as a way to filter out the time wasters and idiots! Meanwhile, continue wearing your makeup if that's what makes you feel good. FWIW, I went to school with a girl who had a purple/red birth mark covering one side of her face, and she used to wear cover up makeup. Nobody knew until we all started swimming together and then all of a sudden noticed this birth mark. The main thing I remember about her was that she always smelt nice!

[Ausernotanumber]

Oh my love a man who really loves you won't care.

Really, the wint.

I am old. My teeth are crap. My body is shit. I have stretch marks and saggy bottom and worse my womb is falling out my fanjo.

My boyfriend doesn't care. He likes a full face look, so do I, but he LOVES me. And I adore him every inch from his blade head to his wrinkles and all in between.

[ZazieCats]

IBS + Acne where down to gluten and dairy intolerance in my case. So I agree with pp about changing diet- I do a sort of low FODMAP/paleo hybrid and everything has cleared up really well. Dairy was the major culprit, but drastically reducing other sugars got rid of the lingering remains.

As regards make-up, as a general and very loose rule, men usually prefer less is more or a subtle approach ( which are not necessarily the same thing).

However, if they like/fancy you, they really aren't bothered. They might say, "Oh, you've put something with a little bit of sparkle on your eyes" or "You're wearing lipstick! That's nice.'" The reason they notice this is because they are gazing intently at you because they think you are beautiful, it's not really much to do with what the make-up is. It could equally have been them saying something nice about your hair/eyes/lips.

So, as regards make-up, wear what you like. The men who really like you won't notice, or only in a positive way to compliment you. The ones who object- body swerve them.

[Myusernameismyusername]

Mines just foundation really but it's like industrial and I will not be seen without it. I think it's trust really. I am not sure a man would even realise how much foundation I had on until I didn't have it on? I'm very good at it and it's natural. Just worry about it being a big shock going to bed with one woman and waking up with another

[ZazieCats]

And the same goes for the skin underneath the make-up- if they really like you they won't notice.

[Ausernotanumber]

Oh sweetheart. The right man will not care. Honestly.

I put it on with a trowel. Heavy is my preference. The man in my life is just happy to be in my life. He thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Make up or not.

[Myusernameismyusername]

My IBS was really provoked by post surgical strength anti biotics twice in one year and then a stomach infection - generally the IBS is under natural control and tends to only be very bad if I have had something like fruit or juice in excess

[ZazieCats]

If it's juice/fruit, that's the fructose- fructose is one of the major FODMAPS. The diet really could help you work out what your triggers are. I found that food maps that gave me IBS after I ate a large quantity, gave me skin issues when I ate a small quantity. A lot of people say gut issues show up first in your skin.

This is so true for me, that I am able to use my skin as an early warning system for my IBS. When I adjust the amount of format containing food I eat, if I start getting minor skin problems I know I have started to stray into dangerous territory and reduce them again. It's a really effective barometer.

My IBS started in similar circumstances- long term course of anti-biotics, bad food poisoning then really strong antibiotics for a bladder infection in the course of a year.

I found Prescription Assist and Jarrow Ideal Bowel Support probiotics really useful to help stabilise me a bit.

[ZazieCats]

Fodmap not food map or format!

[engineersthumb]

Hi op
I used to have really bad skin right into my thirties and felt awful about it (even as a soldier! ).
At some point I stopped prodding, applying anti bacterial cream, special face washes etc. 5 years on my skin is average/normal but to be honest I think that it always seems worse to the individual than other people. Try to relax about it and know that what ever you do to make it

[Wellywife]

I think most people have physical things they worry about exposing to someone else in the morning. My friends and I joke that if our DHs ran off with floozies then we'd never have sex again for fear of exposing our 50ish yr old bodies.

In the end if you've spent time really getting to know someone, the final step pre intimacy should be sharing your fears. Anyone worth their salt wouldn't let something like that put them off.

On the practical side, I'm assuming you've tried Dianette? It worked really well for a friend a few years ago.

[BIWI]

My IBS was also caused, I think, by long-term antibiotic usage - also for acne (which I suffered from in my teen years and up until I was 25).

I still have the occasional cystic spot, although nothing like I used to have - they started in my mid/late 40s, and were definitely hormonal. Sadly even though I'm now through the menopause, I still suffer very occasionally from them, usually on my chin/jaw line.

What really helped me was following a low carb diet. I didn't start the diet for that reason - it was for weight low - but I realised that my IBS was totally gone. My skin was better, although it didn't stop the acne I'm afraid.

I know this isn't what you were asking about, but for your own health and your skin health in the future, it might help you.

And I should also say, a low carb diet isn't a no carb diet - you get your carbs from fresh veg and salad (of which you will eat plenty). You also should drink lots of water, which will help your skin.

But to answer your original question, I would say that any man who can't see the real you, regardless of make-up/skin, isn't worth being involved with anyway.

[Ausernotanumber]

*bald

He has a bald head. 😳

[PollyPerky]

Do you mean your NHS area won't fund more than one course of Roaccutane? It's not the same everywhere.Can you afford to pay for it privately? It would be a few hundred £££s but if you are buying loads of creams and make up and suffering, it might be worth it.

[Evergreen17]

Actually, "Men tend to be wary of red lipstick" my DH is and a lot of my friends dont like it.
I still wear it because I love it.
They said it is too much make up. Even if I have nothing on but the lipstick.
So it is not ridiculous to say, ok maybe "some men" is better

[Myusernameismyusername]

I don't know if I would do roaccutane again. I think new guidelines only recommend it once. It's a tough commitment with the side effects. My entire body peeled, bled and was sore. It's amazing afterwards but only lasted me about 3 years. I found my scalp the hardest part of roaccutane because I am dark and the dandruff was unreal

GP won't give me the pill. Contraception wise the IUD is my last option (also no sex is my first choice anyway) because of the bloody bleeding. I'm half dreading the menopause half looking forward to it I am sure it Will be a whole new set of problems I didn't have before! I don't want more children so if I meet someone long term I could get sterilised but I might as well continue with IUD now and have taken on board the diet stuff.

I've struggled before as I am not a big meat eater and fruit doesn't agree with me so I tend to eat mostly carbs (pasta, veg) so I look at the diets and think WTF would I eat?

[SpecialStains]

25, don't really wear makeup (not day to day). Dh thinks a lot of make up (like high heels) looks a bit ridiculous.

I'm just too lazy to wear make up every day and it gives my otherwise clear skin spots if I wear foundation.

[Myusernameismyusername]

I don't wear makeup from the moment I get in my front door. It's not really a choice for me. I have been stared at before on holiday situations. You are lucky to have clear skin so take care of it. I didn't have any acne until I had my first child.

[Fraggleyourock]

I have a birthmark on my face covering most of my left cheek! I also have a genetic disorder which effects my skin making it very dry... so I have yet to find a foundation that agrees with my skin. It tends to go a bit cakey/cracky (for want do better/real words), so when I do wear it I have to dab on the tiniest amount, as a result, my birthmark has never really been properly covered! I have always worried about what any partner will think of both my skin and my birthmark, but honestly, I've never had a bad experience with a boyfriend! They've all been really sweet and reassuring! If they're into you, they really won't care! My current DP is amazing! He tells me how beautiful I am daily, and if I have any issues with my skin (winter months are not my friend), he will go out and get any creams/ointments that I may need and help me rub them in !
Sorry for the rambling post! I just mean, that make up or none, the right person is going to love you and only see you as the beautiful person that you are!

[PollyPerky]

OP I'm sorry you are suffering like this. I know how awful it is to have a skin condition. But, in your shoes I'd be seriously thinking about going outside the NHS (if at all possible) and paying for a good dermatologist (even if it means travelling - you'd only need 1-2 appts.) for the best treatment. My DC used Roaccutane and it was prescribed privately. She was told it was hormonal acne. Her insurance did in fact cover the cost though drugs are often exempt. The cost would have been around £400 at the time.

The dose was tailored to her needs . Without knowing your medical history it's just possible your dose as too high if you had such awful side effects. I'd urge you not to be negative and take one experience as a sure sign the same thing would happen again- it might not.

DC has also found a big improvement by cutting out sugar and refined carbs as much as possible, eating healthily and exercising.

Personally, I feel you ought to seek out some expert help. There are dermos out there who can be sympathetic and who can help. If you want any names, PM me.

[Myusernameismyusername]

I'm a single mother, I do work but can't really justify spending more on my face than I would at Christmas and I'm wary about starting something that could spiral out of my budget!

Fraggle look at Kroylan dermacolor - it takes some getting used to with blending but lasts me all day without cracking too much of needing to be reapplied. I have dry skin too so I take a blending sponge in my bag to kind of blend Any cracking if it does happen

[Myusernameismyusername]

Also fraggle I think that's the attitude I would like so don't think I am telling you you should wear the make up just it's good if you did want it!

[Fraggleyourock]

Thank you for the advice myuser! I'll definitely look into it, only because as lovely as my DP and exes have been in the past, I would very much like to be able to cover it occasionally! As reassuring as people are, when there's something you don't like about yourself, it's hard not to notice it, even if other people don't

[PollyPerky]

tbh if it was making me as miserable as it is you, I'd forgo Christmas and look after my own needs. Credit card perhaps? It wouldn't spiral out of control. You'd probably have two appts with a dermo and a course of the drugs.