Ex wife citing adultery

[MintCakeYum]

DP left his ex because she was violent and unstable.

We got together a few months later, they were still legally married although obviously not living together.

This was 2 years ago. He asked her for a divorce and she cited 'adultery' as the reason, meaning he has to pay for it.

He didn't leave her through adultery.

She doesn't work so could have got the divorce for free rather than making DP pay for the whole thing.

DP agreed as he just wants the divorce over and done with.

They have a child together and he already pays £100 more maintenance a month than he's required to.

He is struggling financially at the moment and feels like she's being vindictive.

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

They don't automatically state that the respondant has to pay the court fees in the case of adultery, she (ExW) would have ticked the box that states she wanted him to pay for them to do that.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

SleeplessRageMonster
"I'd never trust what a man claimed his ex was like."

Well bully for you.

[Fourormore]

All adultery petitions have a co-respondent. It's normally "A person not named".

[GarlicShake]

If she' vindictive, I imagine she's going for adultery as a dig. As it really doesn't make any difference to any outcomes, I don't understand why he doesn't just get on with it.

But neither do I understand why he's left his son with a violent & abusive mother.

Too much mystery here for me, and at least one peculiar agenda being pushed. I'm off. Good luck, OP.

[abbsismyhero]

if its two years ago she could have used the two years separated rule

[Fourormore]

It really doesn't matter though. A year from now, neither of you will even think about it.

[MintCakeYum]

Yes I think that's the bottom line really. He should have petitioned her.

[user7755]

I don't need help thanks, I just completely disagree with you, on a reversed thread you may get a couple of people saying why don't you divorce him but those people will be challenged by others saying that it is that person's own decision.

It's appalling the assumptions that are made on here sometimes about women being victims and men being liars. Taking out of the equation that it is a new partner telling us what happened, there is no way that if a woman had reported her new female partner being subjected to violence anyone would reply 'there are two sides to every story'.

[GarlicShake]

Yes, User. I read the posts.

The abused husband is not divorcing the ex.

So your remark is totally off the field.

Let me help you. For equivalence, you'd have to say
If a woman had come on here and said that her husband was divorcing her because he was violent and unstable I strongly suspect that the responses would have been very different

And I don't think they would be! Indeed, many would say "Why don't you divorce him?" which many have here.

[pocketsaviour]

Domestic violence against men indeed often goes overlooked.

Is he happy that his child is resident with a violent criminal? Why did he not apply for the divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour i.e. violence towards him?

[ThisIsStartingToBoreMe]

Your partner has left his son living with someone who is "violent and unstable" ? .

[user7755]

It's the first line of the OP

He left her because of her abusive behaviour, a couple of months later he met the OP. STBEW is now divorcing him, citing adultery.

[GarlicShake]

If a woman had come on here and said that she was divorcing her husband because he was violent and unstable I strongly suspect that the responses would have been very different

Eh??

If OP had said DP was divorcing his ex for her behaviour, that would be equivalent.

It's not what's happening here, so ...

[user7755]

Sounds like 'I believe you' doesn't extend to men - sorry that your partner went through this MintCake

[MintCakeYum]

"If a woman had come on here and said that she was divorcing her husband because he was violent and unstable I strongly suspect that the responses would have been very different."

Agree, he suffered horribly at her hands. She has a conviction for GBH, not against DP but another ex. The violence was horrendous. She's getting help now but obviously he doesn't want to be married to her anymore.

I posted about a situation with her and DP once before, but it seems because it's a man the violence doesn't get taken seriously. Broken noses and being battered black and blue with blunt instruments doesn't just happen to women. It's sad.

[SleeplessRageMonster]

I'd never trust what a man claimed his ex was like.

[Haffdonga]

He is not paying for the divorce because of adultery. The letter is saying the grounds of divorce are adultery.

Payment for divorce is not based on who did what in the marriage.

[user7755]

If a woman had come on here and said that she was divorcing her husband because he was violent and unstable I strongly suspect that the responses would have been very different.

[NameChange30]

You're very naive
You've completely bought into your partner's claims that he is completely blameless and everything is his ex's fault
Don't you realise there are two sides to every story?
A man who blames his ex for everything would make me suspicious tbh
If they want a divorce and he has the money but she doesn't, he should pay for it
If he is contributing more than the minimum for child maintenance, that's his choice, and it's actually a decent thing to do, given that it's his child

[Tiggeryoubastard]

So the taxpayer could.