Am I wasting my time?

[WineIsFineAtNine]

I'm sitting in a pub waiting for an OLD to text. We went on a fabulous date last Monday and I ended up goon home with him which resulted in sex 5 times in one night stealth boast. He called me the following day but I screened his calls as I prefer to text. We were texting fine and have been 'sexting'. He then asked to meet on Saturday night which I was willing to do- however he text me a short while beforehand that he was too tired and needed to sleep (he does have a very stressful job in the legal industry).

We then agreed to meet tonight, he text me last night saying he would be late tonight as he is going to an engagement party. I ignored the text but he still hasn't text me a time or location to say when we are meeting tonight?!

FWIW he isn't already in a relationship because I have been to his house and he was definitely single.

Is he interested?

[IonaMumsnet]

Hi folks. Thanks for your reports on this thread. We're going to have a chat with the OP and see if we can clear this up. In the meantime we're going to suspend the thread. Thanks for your patience.

[PamDooveOrangeJoof]

Yup Secrets. Don't think we will see OP again. What an odd thread though?!

[DarrenHardysDrongo]

No worries Sup

Looks that way Secrets

[SupSlick]

Darrenhardysdrongo my mistake!

[SecretsAndStuff21]

Pam, Das, Bel, are we reading from the same hymn sheet?.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

He's a disgusting individual for trying to pressure you into a sex act you didn't enjoy. Don't sell yourself so short.

[Belikethatthen]

Well 8 weeks on this thread, 23 years on the other.

[whatdoIget]

Maybe she forgot? Easily done if you've got a lot on your mind

[DarrenHardysDrongo]

OP was 37 in 2015, and is 46 now.

Read again Sup - the post at 14.53.

[SupSlick]

I thought OP said she'd never had a "successful" relationship rather than a relationship in general? Have I read this wrong?

[Belikethatthen]

Eh op? On your other thread you're long term married with 3 older dc, on this you've never had a relationship .

[PamDooveOrangeJoof]

What happened to the 23 year marriage? Agree with Secrets, this is very bizarre.

[RortyCrankle]

I don't know what to say except please do yourself a favour and learn some self respect before dating again.

The bloke is a sleazeball and after all that was said the previous evening, why the hell did you have sex with him the next morning? Him being tall and Jewish is irrelevant if the rest of him stinks.

Actually, ignore what I've just written and read CheersMedea's post, several times.

[SecretsAndStuff21]

Read the posts. It's mostly about risky attire and suchlike.

[WellErrr]

Really Secrets?

[ilovewelshrarebit123]

I've got a FWB arrangement, he's lovely, respectful, great in bed, we're adventurous to. He never ever pushes the boundaries to make me feel I have to do stuff I don't want to.

Get rid, so what if he doesn't want you, find someone who does.

[Slowdecrease]

Blimey OP no kid gloves here I'm afraid - you've been a nightmare and if I was a man the last thing I'd want with you is a friends with benefits arrangement - namely because it's supposed to be fun and with respect you sound anything but. Ignore his calls? No answering his text but content with sexting? Being in a mood? Sleeping on the other side of the bed? You don't sound emotionally unavailable you sound incredibly emotional childish and so I think any right thinking man would avoid even a casual relationship with that for fear or reprisals. Do you think you need to change? Because don't kid yourself you're in any kind of control with these silly strops you're throwing - they are an absolute turn off to any right thinking individual. At 46 you really really do need to evolve.

[expatinscotland]

Dear god. This guy is a creep. He isn't just a waste of time but a bullet to be dodged.

'Do you think knowing I've had abortions in the past out him off?'

It's not information many would share with virtual strangers.

Please, please do some work on your boundaries and self-esteem before dating more.

I'm 45 myself, and made a number of mistakes in the past, but well, as one author wrote, 'A fool is someone who does not learn by experience.'

Sooner or later, you have to modify your behaviour if you're to have any chance of real contentment and peace.

[SecretsAndStuff21]

In a previous post the OP says she has been married for 23 years??

[Roussette]

It's not the end of a relationship because it's never been a relationship!

The "fabulous" first date (your words) was fabulous because he was on his best behaviour so he could get in your knickers. He achieved that. So second date ended up as not a date and you got drunk by yourself and met him at 11pm for more sex, probably becaue no one else was around for him.

You are not giving off an "emotionally unavailable" vibe. You are giving off a "walk all over me and I'll still have sex with you" vibe.

Agree with other posters, you need to work on your self esteem.

[SupSlick]

I get you, I'm emotionally dead & guys never know if I'm into them or not. But just because he's Jewish too, doesn't mean you have to be with him.

I'd back away. If not, he will probably force you into this anal business whilst you try to convince him to like you.

[WineIsFineAtNine]

Because on paper he is perfect- I'm hugely outing myself here but I'm Jewish, he's Jewish and there aren't many tall, Jewish and single men available!

I can't help it- I seem to naturally give an 'I don't like you/am not emotionally available' vibe to men every though really I'm overly emotionally available because worrying about them consumes me!

[Cacofonix]

CheersMedea I loved your reply. Totally spot on!

OP, grow up and have some self respect.

[SupSlick]

What is it you like about him OP? What is it that makes you want to sleep with him?

He's upset you by dicking around with your plans, by the getting pregnant comment, by pressuring you for anal sex.... Why are you bothered about upsetting him?

Your low self esteem & anxiety seem to be a contributing factor to why you may be single; and I say that very kindly as I'm actually the same. but why is this man single?

This isn't some fairytale romance. He's using you for sex. Walk away & learn from this. A fwb situation - you're not friends with this guy & there's no benefit from shagging him.

[Costacoffeeplease]

Yes it's definitely over - it hardly began really - and he sounds like a mega creep, block him and move on