Can I report

[Earlymorningworrier]

Hi,

I was having an argument with my ex partner about things to do with our child in a public place. He started raising his voice and getting aggressive so I tried to back away and asked him to go but he insisted on following me. I'm not proud but I then attempted to push him away from me because I panicked and he dragged me to the ground by my hair.

Would I be able to, and indeed should I report him for assault? It's not the first time he's intentionally hurt me but I feel like I provoked it.

It's also now been a few days since it happened so I'm worried the police might think I was making it up.

[Offred]

And yes, the main concern is getting away from him. Reporting assaults is usually a way to get and keep someone away.

[Offred]

I don't think you should be arrested too, he was following you and being aggressive. He has hurt you in the past so it's reasonable to read your push as defensive.

It depends on the police's handling of it TBH.

My police force is deeply sexist and that has meant that on occasion even though my neighbour started quite extreme physical violence against her partner, they had a long physical fight, he punched her in her face and gave her a fat lip, he was the only one arrested and was dragged out in handcuffs half naked and given a slap by the police (while in cuffs) in the street outside...

I read your push as defensive against his aggression and I think it should be processed that way if you report but it will be down to the decisions of the police who handle it.

[Andthentherewasmum]

Putting aside the definition of assault issue, I think your immediate concern is getting distance between the two of you and creating a safe environment for your child.

What is your domestic setup at the moment?

[Bubblesinthesummer]

Really?? You got all that from the OP and I thought I was judgemental

I am not judgemental. you know nothing about me

I apologise if my comments came accross as harsh. If you actually read my further posts you may understand why I have said what I did and what I actually said in follow up...

[blindsider]

Bubbles
I think you both have anger issues. Neither of you behaved well. You report him he could very well report you.

You should stay away from each other. Your relationship sounds toxic.


Really?? You got all that from the OP and I thought I was judgemental

[Bubblesinthesummer]

Thank you Sgoinneal

[PosieReturningParker]

I find the idea that anyone would try and put off the OP from reporting being dragged to the floor by her hair because she pushed away an aggressive man who was shouting at her in the street and not leaving her alone really awful.

Perhaps I have a different grasp of how the law works, maybe mistakenly, but is that really where we are in this country?

[Littleelffriend]

Presuming that this happened in the UK, pushing someone is assault. Did it warrant the reaction? Of course not, I'm just saying that going to the police may open a can of worms, especially given that the OP acted first.

[hellsbellsmelons]

Absolutely report him
And if you have any pictures or can remember dates and what happened previously, report them as well.
Do NOT meet with this violent person again.
Do everything via email and text so you have a trail.
If you any abusive texts or emails, show them to the police as well.
I hope you have some real life support around you?

[PitPatKitKat]

Yes. He was aggressive you tried to get away, he pursued you, you panicked, pushed him in a further attempt to get away, he pulled you to the ground by your hair. Report him.

[LazyDaysAndTuesdays]

I agree with Humpty

[HumptyDumptyHadaHardTime]

I think it was Bubbles That made a good point about your DC.

Did they witness what happened? If they did then definitely report or at least talk to the police.

[Bubblesinthesummer]

I understand Notasingle will try not to derail the thread

[Nottodaythankyouorever]

What I meant was he could say you pushed him first. Maybe it came accross harsher than I meant.

Maybe speak to 101 (is that the right number ) and see what they say.

[FantasticButtocks]

It wasn't your fault. He was the one who started raising his voice and becoming aggressive. As to you saying you feel like you 'provoked it' - nothing you said or did justifies or could justify his assault on you.

[Notasinglefuckwasgiven]

Totally understand the sensitivity. I feel the same. Have tried to explain in last post how the courts kind of work it out. It's all action vs reaction and is it justifiable. That's when size can come into it. Very clinical.

[Notasinglefuckwasgiven]

I don't think they meant that no woman should be charged because men are bigger either, nor did I say that or anyone say that. It's about self defence. Your actions are measured against the threat. My life could well have been in danger so me leaving a tiny white scat on his cheek? Justified in the eyes of the law.

[Bubblesinthesummer]

I should have said he was strangling me at the time so yes, my actions on being choked by someone 4 stone heavier than me who was lying on top of me were justified in the eyes of the law. Should have put that in but it seemed to long.

That's ok. Sorry that that happened to you.

It just hit a bit of a nerve at the thought that people in my DBro position might not be believed or taken seriously as they are 'larger" iyswim.

[Nottodaythankyouorever]

OP I apologise if my post came accross as blaming you. I wasn't.

Did you report past incidents or not?

[Notasinglefuckwasgiven]

I should have said he was strangling me at the time so yes, my actions on being choked by someone 4 stone heavier than me who was lying on top of me were justified in the eyes of the law. Should have put that in but it seemed to long.

[Oswin]

Ohshutupthomas, I agree with you.
The replies to this thread have been shocking.
She was trying to get him away from her. A man who has previously hurt her.

[Bubblesinthesummer]

OP were the DC there at the time? Did they witress what happened?

Maybe call 101 and see what they say?