I've been with DH for 21 years, have a grown up DSD in her twenties and 2 dds aged 13 (almost) and 9.
I don't think he's ever cheated on me but there have been so many incidents over the years where he's stepped over the line. Mostly flirting, sometimes online sometimes in person. Everytime it's chipped away at my trust in him.
The most recent one was a week ago and he was upfront about it straight away. It was minor as they go, but how many times do these things have to happen before I just start looking like a gullible fool?
I'm tired of not trusting him. I'm tired of being hurt and feeling inadequate. I'm tired of worrying about my relationship like lovestruck school girl.
I love him, fancy him like mad, and I know it would drive me mad if we split and he got with someone else. But our relationship doesn't feel healthy any more. I'm tired and too old to be feeling like this whenever this type of behavior crops up. Which tends to be once every few years.
I don't want to split up, apart from the practicalities, atm we're on benefits, he was made redundant I'm a carer for dd1 who has ASD. If we were to split he has nowhere to go, no family apart from his brother who lives on the otherside of the country, DSD who lives in Dubai, and no close friends, so not sure how it would work.
I don't want to split up, but I'm tired of living like this. Wondering if the next incident will be the one where he actually cheats! I mean I go about my day to day life, and my social life (or lack of one rather) as a married woman who's off limits and wouldn't dream of flirting in a way that would be harmful so why can't he?
I mean I'm no angel I'm terrible with money and I've gotten us into debt over the years and been secretive about it.
I don't know what to do for the best. We promised he kids we'd get a dog this year, and here I am talking about divorce!
Ugh, I wish someone could just tell me what path to take instead of not knowing what to do.
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Relationships
How can a marriage survive if I don't trust him?
5 replies
ZombiesAteMyBaby · 24/01/2016 10:08
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