Sexually assaulted by friends husband whilst I slept

[Ninjaturtle101]

Feel sick to my stomach and really shocked. Have just found out from the man himself that when I stayed over at their house (I hadn't seen my friend for yrs) when I was sleeping he...quote "did something beautiful to me that he will remember for the rest of his days"- whilst I was f***g asleep!. What he described after and I can't be too graphic has made me feel sick as he said I responded to him. I have no recollection of this happening and worst of all this was about 17yrs ago. Now in theory I should be over it as it was a long time ago but I've only just found out and am having trouble dealing if I'm honest. My situation is complicated and I can't tell anyone so it's just bouncing around in my head and I can't think of anything else. On top of that my partner has been groping me whilst asleep leading to rows (complicated!) so I'm starting to feel pretty much like I have no control over what people do to me which is freaking me the hell out. Appreciate any comments...just needed to say it to someone without worrying about fall out.

[Siolence]

Nobody
NOBODY wants to hear about someone else's sexual practices on a thread about their abuse. The Internet is a huge and varied source of information, there are plenty of places people can read about alternative points of view. There does not need to balance in one small corner of the net.

[NameChange30]

Fuck off moob

[cestlavielife]

Is your p the dc dad ?

You can't stay with someone who is assaulting you because the dc "think the world of him " .
People who abuse are terribly nice some of the time or to some of the people around them .
What will they think in ten years time when you say you stayed "for them " while being miserable.?

Please go to a counsellor in confidence and tell them everything so you can put things in perspective. Ask gp to refer you on nhs. Or talk to women's aid.

[Moob]

Can't you people read?

Nobody detracted from
what the OP was saying, or said anything to suggest she didn't need and deserve help support and advice.

I just simply and I thought sympathetically suggested that some of the previous responses suggesting that ANYONE who touched their partner while they were asleep might be a rapist and should be left were maybe a bit OTT.

[NameChange30]

Correction:
Don't derail the thread of an OP who really needs support

[BastardGoDarkly]

I'm not bothered about the internet in years to come ffs, im bothered about this poor woman being assaulted

Now please go and talk about your sex life somewhere else, where it's relevant, maybe readers wives or somewhere.

[NameChange30]

If you want to discuss the general topic of rape, sexual assault and consent, start your own fucking thread. Don't derail of an OP who really needs support by talking about YOURSELF. Fucking hell.

[neonrainbow]

Fuck off moob.

[NameChange30]

Fuck off moob

[Moob]

Those of you who read a few words of my post then jumped to conclusions and told me to fuck off might want to read it again.

The point I was making is that in this case the OP isn't happy with it, and I completely see why and she should probably seek further advice.

But, this forum sits on the internet where millions of people for years to come can find it and the comments within.

So as well as helping the OP (which you should) people should look at the bigger picture. In this case that is people reading this thread and maybe some of them thinking that anyone who touches their partner in their sleep being arrested and risking having the relationship broken up.

That is insane. Getting frisky with someone who you know has every right to say no whenever you are in the mood is part of a loving and adult relationship. It doesn't apply in the case of the OP, but for a thread to state it can't ever be normal or allowed is clearly not right either.

[BastardGoDarkly]

OP, what do you think he'd say if you said... Do that one more time and Im going to the police...?

[Siolence]

Asleep without prior consent to being touched when asleep (yes I'm looking at you Moob) is assault.

There are no ifs ands or buts about it.

For the OPs partner to repeatedly persist after she has made it clear it is unwelcome is the act of someone who KNOWS they are carrying out an unwelcome sexual assault.

[BastardGoDarkly]

He's groping her in her sleep moob they've had rows about it, stop making out it's fine, it fucking isn't.

[NameChange30]

Great minds eh

[neonrainbow]

Anotheremma thats what I was going to say!

[NameChange30]

Oh fuck off Moob

[neonrainbow]

Yet another fucking rape apologist. Herpartner is sexually assaulting her. If your happy with your wife waking you up this way then all power to you, its not relevant to this thread BECAUSE THE OP IS NOT HAPPY WITH IT. If your wife was not happy with it that would also be assault.

[CozyLinusBlanket]

If either asked the other to stop they would, but sometimes it's a normal and fun part of a relationship.

In this case though, it clearly isn't...

[Moob]

I accept OP is not happy with her partner groping her in her sleep, but to suggest that as reason to leave without much more info is absurd.

My wife sometimes wakes me in the middle of the night and she is playing with me or sucking me. I have been know to come home and wake her with what I suppose you would call foreplay.

If either asked the other to stop they would, but sometimes it's a normal and fun part of a relationship.

You need a lot more background before you can just declare a partner who like to wake his partner with a feel as a pervert! Such as is it something that has happened before and been met with approval, has it ever happened the other way around?

[Serenelight]

Agree with the previous post that both men sound creepy. You are damaging your self esteem by remaining in this relationship. See link to another case where a man admitted his behaviour in writing and was prosecuted for it (in Ireland). ----

www.sickchirpse.com/weirdo-boyfriend-admits-raping-girlfriend-asleep/

[CreepingDogFart]

Both men sound creepy. Sever both.

[Gobbolino6]

If this historical assailant put this in an email, I'd show the police.

[VoldysGoneMouldy]

You can get some support to work through what this man has said to you, but the priority now needs to be the situation you are in with the man who is sexually assaulting you on a regular basis. Don't stay because you think the kids will be upset - that's no reason to be living in fear of your body being respected constantly.

[neonrainbow]

You do not need to help him control his sex drive and only a rape apologist would suggest that you do. Your happiness and need to feel safe and secure is just as important as your kids. Please please try and look into getting out. My ex sexually assaulted me to wake me up so he could coerce me into sex. I left him after that first time after 3 years of emotional abuse a and am now married to an amazing man.

Does your dp treat you badly in other ways?

[amarmai]

op your p is living in your home and he is sexually assaulting you. He does not have a right to do any of this and he is not a good role model for your cc. The power lies in your hands to go to the police and have him removed. It is not your responsibility what $$ he has or not. Your responsibility is to keep yourself and your cc safe from him.