Have I done something wrong?

[LadyofDunedin]

Some advice sought. I've dipped into the world of OLD. Met - although not in person, yet- whom I think a nice gentleman!

He's been working abroad last couple of weeks and we have exchanged emails with the intent to meet. Last night I receive the following;

'Hello hello!

Thats me back, jeez that seemed like a long flight! So I might be through in Xxx next wed/thurs/fri.. how would this evening / Mon or Tues work for you?

Hope you've had a good weekend?

Here's my mobile... Xx

x'

As the suggestion was for last night/ tomorrow potentially, I what's app (bad cellular signal at home) - at 5pm yesterday... No response, despite reading /showing his pic as profile pic (thus no doubt of right number...)

Oh wise ones of MN, what should I now do? Nothing? Email back?

Doesn't make sense... But he increasingly looks flaky!

[LadyofDunedin]

Ugh it really was a kick in the teeth .. My first attempt at dating after my disastrous last relationship.. Sigh ...

[AlwaysBeYourself]

Sorry but he was just a player after a one night shag. Glad it wasn't you he got it from.

[Justaboy]

I'm sure there's a "market" out there for the old fashioned dating or marriage agency where applicants are "vetted" first.

[HellonHeels]

Ha ha @ the tender process

Sounds like you've recovered equilibrium after being messed about by a tosser. Good.

Ding ding! Next!

[LadyofDunedin]

Thanks, red.

I was more than fair. I'm a great believer that you get in life what you put up with.

[RedMapleLeaf]

(Guilty snigger at that last sentence).

Perhaps it's a technique that works with a lot of people, but this time he's run in to you and you're no one's fool. Well done OP.

[LadyofDunedin]

The whole thing is baffling, rude, bla bla

Of course he's since been on what's app and still radio silence this end. He's never getting as much of a glance from me.

Next time he tenders for work he also has the longest procurement process to look forward to - bastard.

[Zucker]

Don't forget a photo of themselves with some proof of when it was actually taken.

[Justaboy]

It's about time -

That MN started its own OLD system where any applicant would have to send a copy of their birth cert, their divorce final cert, and have at least three references as to their mental stability and character .

Any I've missed out;?.

[AlwaysBeYourself]

In my opinion Lady a man worth his salt will not expect you to meet up that night or the next one but would arrange a date for a few days time or the weekend. Giving you a time frame of that night or next night doesn't bode well. I would not go for a date with a man unless he arranged it least 4 days in advance. At least for the first date anyway. It really sounds like he was maybe just after sex and had contacted a few other woman and one of them replied first. So don't think its you or anything you did or didn't do, he just didn't have relationship on his mind.

You only need to reply to one of their messages and then the rest is up to them.

[LadyofDunedin]

Some or my friends thought that too, botanic. They thought WA was too friendly and not my best approach.. Horses for courses now really..seems academic if it was WA or text - it's been 27 hours!

[LadyofDunedin]

Thanks all. Yes, I got the email last night at 4pm suggesting options to meet, one of which was last night and incidentally, suited me best

I what's apped at the back of 5 - read at 5am this morning. As you say, acknowledgement would have been nice given it was suggesting last night!

Giving the benefit of the doubt, I (stupidly) emailed at 2pm today , kept it breezy and no reply.

Fwiw he was defo abroad with work as colleagues accompanied him.

He's behaved really badly and I'm upset as I did know of him and somehow that raised my expectation to expect more!

The last one I dated for 9 months turned out to be married- it's not been a good year for men and I! My radar is BAD!

[AlwaysBeYourself]

OP contacted him by whatsapp and email/text this afternoon.

OP he is not worth worrying about. He is not interested in a relationship with you otherwise he would have replied when he read your message in the early hours of this morning. You saw he read it. Even if he contacts you now I wouldn't go out with him if I were you. He obviously got a better offer from one of the others he also contacted. You can do better.

[Botanicbaby]

Of course you're worth more than this OP!

Fwiw, I'm always when they tell me all about the flights/travelling they are doing. It seems like a convenient reason to use when they don't want to be available.
I do wonder if he perhaps didn't like being contacted via whatsapp rather than by email/text? Given that it shows your status and whether you've read the message or not. I know he gave you his number but maybe he didn't expect that. The fact he's not replied confirms he's not worth bothering about of course.

[LadyofDunedin]

Update; there is no update.. Went for dinner and cinema with a girl friend and absolutely zilch from him.

I'm confident my worth is more than this. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to hear what his damn excuse is

[Shakey15000]

Oh don't feel embarrassed you've done nothing wrong. In the remotest chance the first reply was ambiguous, you've sent a further to clarify. Ball is in his court now. Hope he comes back with a reply for you.

[brunette123]

He asks to meet you - and at short notice too - then he ignores you twice m - sorry but that isn't nice and you are worth more - don't feel embarrassed - it's him not you - I really believe that unless someone has had a terrible accident, if they don't contact you then it is because they don't want to - everyone can find 30 seconds to text if they want to. I wouldn't see him now even if he contacts you - horrid being made to feel like this. Don't let it do your head in. It's him!

[HellonHeels]

You've done nothing wrong at all. Don't message him again and think carefully about responding if he gets in touch.

Meantime, don't feel embarrassed, you're doing fine! Move on from this potentially unreliable bloke and get chatting to some more people. Take it lightly (I know it's hard to)

[ChristmasPartyDress]

yeh, you just said that yes you were free for a drink. Don't worry about it.

if you meet him, it could turn out that he has a squeaky voice or he smells... don't let yourself be disappointed by a man you haven't even met.

I have been disappointed by men I have met, but only for a short while. I am building up a real armour!

[IwishIwasinNewYork]

I don't think you've done anything wrong at all.

You just responded, said you were free for a drink.

Don't feel embarrassed. But definitely try to toughen up a wee bit and throw your net wide.

Hopefully he'll reply anyway...

[AlwaysBeYourself]

I can understand that. Others have said that the best way to do online is to get to know lots and increase your chances and have fun.

[LadyofDunedin]

I'm not sure I'm cut out for it. It knocked me more than it should .. And I feel embarassed

[AlwaysBeYourself]

Good girl! Get chatting to some more men, it will do you good!

[LadyofDunedin]

One what's app , one email. What's app was in response to his first email with his number and potential meet up last night/ tonight.

Despite WA telling me he read my message early this morning, I have given him the benefit of me emailing this afternoon.

If he's quiet now , I'll call time...