Can an older woman - younger man relationship work long term?

[Elliementalmydearwatson]

Just that really.

I've recently met a man on OLD that I just clicked with right away, we share the same interests, views on life, same sense of humour and we even like the same TV!

But he is 17 years younger than me.

He says it nobody's business but ours but I'm still concerned what people will think. I never set out to date a younger man but we just found it so easy to talk to one another and we both immediately felt like we had known each other for ages that it just progressed from there.

I suppose I'm looking for success stories - anyone?

[annandale]

I know a couple with a similar setup who are great together. The only thing I would say is, work through it mentally yourself; a different couple with a smaller gap are a bit painful to be around as the woman keeps on and on about 'you and your aged wife' i.e. putting herself down. She doesn't sound happy and it's as if she never quite came to terms with the gap herself.

[PaperPlaneDown]

My DB's wife is 17 years older than him. They've been happily married for over 20 years.

[tuilamum]

When my aunt met her fiance she was 40 and he was 20, she's now 53 and he's 33 and the have an 11yo boy together who is great and they are as happy as ever (as far as I know!) they're saving up to take themselves and their little boy to Vegas to get married!

[OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer]

also with a much younger husband (12 years).

there was an experience gap, though that has lessened as the years are passing; we've built our shared experiences up.

we do have trouble communicating at times but that's not age related, it's just us.

I was very cautious at first because of the age gap, though he knew what he wanted straight away. He's a brilliant Papa. As time's gone on, the age gap is less immediately obvious anyway as he gains the odd white hair :P

I think that as long as you're aware that there can be an experience gap, it comes down to personality not age. And bugger the sad gits who judge purely on age.

[AnyFucker]

It depends on the individuals involved and their circumstances, surely ?

[Onmyown1]

My husband is 12 years younger than me. Been together 10 yrs, married for 7 and 2 children together (4 & 5), I have 2 from previous marriage (17 & 21) and he left us in 2013, I took him back and he's left us again 5 weeks ago. He unfortunately never grew up and just put his mates and pub first. He's 34 now and I don't think he'll ever grow up. Was fun in the beginning but then I felt like his mother!

[SolidGoldBrass]

Even if it doesn't last forever, it's worth being happy when and while you can (as long as you're not actually hurting anyone else). All these 'normal' relationships have no guarantees. People change their minds about what they want, or turn out to be less decent than they originally seemed. Or they get ill, or die.

I'm very happy with my younger man at the moment, and when it fizzles out, I will still have some very enjoyable memories.

[Fairylea]

I'm older than my dh.

The only reason I would ever think it might be an issue is if the woman was past the age of having children and the man was young enough to still want them or change his mind about wanting them.

In your case that's all been sorted so go for it!

Personally I hate this idea that every single relationship we have has to be considered possible of lasting until we die.... Sure that's a nice romantic thought but there's plenty of great things to be enjoyed in life that only go on for a period of time. If we all stopped doing anything for fear it wouldn't last we would never do anything.

Go for it! :)

[pizzaeatingmonkey]

I met him when I was 41 and he was 20.....we've been together for nearly 17 years!

[whostheJohnsonnow]

Your daughter rocks Ellie😊

I couldn't agree with her more. You don't even have the children issue to deal with now, so I can't see what could possibly hold you back!

Go forth, enjoy and have a very merry and lust filled Christmas😉

[Elliementalmydearwatson]

I've just had a lovely time reading all the positive messages and I must say I'm feeling a lot better.

Another big factor in my change of outlook is that I told my daughter that I was seeing someone but he was a good bit younger her reaction?

Her words were: Life's too short to give up on what could be a good thing just because of a number if you get on really well go for it! What other people think shouldn't matter and if some disapprove you really shouldn't care. You easily pass for early 40s anyway so looking at it that way it's not THAT big a gap! ......oh and well done mum!! lol

I love my daughter

[chrome100]

I'm 34 and my DP is 24. We met when I was 30 and he 20. To be honest the age gap bothered me at the start but I gave it a go and now I don't notice it.

[Ledkr]

Dh is 12 yrs younger than me.
We have been together nearly 10 yrs.
very happy.

[magiccatlitter]

Good the child business is all sorted! I'd say go for it.

My H is 20 years younger and we're divorcing. He decided after 10 years of marriage he now wants children plus he's a narcissistic twunt.

[HelenaDove]

Go Solid

[daftyburd]

What about Juliet Mills and Maxwell Caufield? Cathy McGowan and Michael Ball? Long lasting celebrity age gap relationships with a bigger gap than 17 years.
Go for it. The only opinions that matter are yours and his,

[WelshMoth]

My boss married her partner recently with the exact same ages. She's so blissfully in love. They've been together for years and are clearly a very, very happy couple.

[Pipestheghost]

Enjoy it

[MagicalHamSandwich]

My grandmother was 10 years older than my grandfather - married for 51 years, then she died.

My perfect age gap ex-husband and I on the other hand ...

[kittyvet]

Married my 11 yr gap younger husband and now have a beautiful daughter. Know a friend of a friend who just had 20th anniversary with her 20 yr junior husband. It can work, it depends on the people and I think it gets easier as you get older :) Age is just a number!

[wtffgs]

Rofl at PPs who are appalled by the idea that older women can be sexually attractive

Sounds perfect OP - I hope you have a great time!

[whostheJohnsonnow]

My boyfriend is 16 years younger than me, and I am (whisper it) under 40.

We've been together a year. I thought it would just be a fling, but he's still here😊 The only person who gives a toss about his age are me and my mother (but that's a whole thread on it's own) All my friends think he's the best suited boyfriend I've ever had!

Terrible cliche time, but life really is too short. Do what makes you happy, but keep your eyes open to the potential pitfalls as well.

[patienceisvirtuous]

I'm 9 years older than DP - 38/29. Been together three years. Getting married next year. Works for us...

[MissApple]

Far too much of a gap. A few months down the line when he realises 'the gap' he will freak out and dump you. You have been warned!

[Ohjellybelly]

I'm in this exact situation. I am 37, my fella is 20. We've been together a while now and you know what, it works.
Mentally I'm still in my twenties and he's an old head on young shoulders - we meet in the middle.
We live together and are also expecting our first child together.
We don't get the 'looks' when we're out as I look younger then my years.
I think we're a great team with some things in common - not all though.

We did hit problems with some things though. His mum wasn't exactly pleased when we paired up but then she's only a couple of years older then me. Since meeting though, it's gotten easier - she can see that we work together and are completely happy and at ease with each other.

My advice... Worry less about the thoughts and concerns of others and enjoy what you have. Age really is just a number and we do only have one short life. Make the most of it with whom ever you choose!!