I'm a long term single female and one of my closest friends is a guy i work with. known him for about 4 years, good mates, he has a DP (no kids). I have a bit of a thing for him but have never shown that.
We have a woman working with us on a four month secondment for a specialist project. Male friend seems to have taken a shine to this woman and they have been spending quite a lot of time together, both at work and outside (she's only in town for the length of the contract). Coincidentally, or maybe not, me and male friend had a huge row just before he started to spend a lot of time with this woman.
I feel like a jealous girlfriend, even though I have no place to be. Because of the row I'm worried I have been replaced as a friend by female work colleague. Also, because i have a thing about him, I am paranoid that he is going to fall for her and leave his DP. I guess at the back of my mind I always had a thought of if anything bad happened between him and DP then I could make a move.
I've spent a lot of time apologising for the row and being unattractively needy to try and get some reassurance that we are still friends. I am constantly thinking if only I had done this or that differently then he would be spending time with me not her.
I also have crazy stalkerish thoughts about how i can find out if they are just friends or if there is something going on. I've considered hanging round outside her hotel, and because of our work environment i could probably easily get access to his work emails. I'm aware of how crazy both these ideas are.
Before you think that we are all twenty somethings with nothing better to do, me and male friend are early 50s. I am going through menopause which i think may be causing the crazy thinking. Female work colleague is a good decade younger, pretty, sporty, funny and probably all the things I think i'm not.
How do i get my head back in control and stop wasting some much time overanalysing this.
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Platonic friendship gone bad
33 replies
rosesmelling23 · 23/08/2015 13:25
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