Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 3

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Help me deal with his denials (POF Profile found)

53 replies

DoingBetterNow · 14/08/2015 21:10

FUCK.

Just found my boyfriends profile on POF. I hate myself for checking, my ex cheated and I told myself I wouldn't put myself through that again (dragged on for years) when you get to the stage you have to check its already too late.

But two things made me suspicious, we were on holiday the other month and he mentioned he can't of deleted his POF profile properly as he still gets emails. 2nly his phone is always on airplane mode. (apparently to save battery)

I text him saying Fuck you. He phoned. Told him I knew. hes saying he hasn't been active. He obviously has, the profile has been updated and theres a pic in there from Jan this year and the text references May 2015.

I cant stop shaking.

OP posts:

Report

tallwivglasses · 16/08/2015 10:45

He conned you into thinking he was a decent man. Now you know his true colours Now, pick yourself up, get that dog out for a walk and look forward to your lovely holiday.

thequickbrownfox · 16/08/2015 10:01

Stick to your guns! He's taking the piss.

DoingBetterNow · 15/08/2015 08:41

Feel sick this morning. Just wish there was something he could say to make this okay but even his excuses are shit. (In reality nothing would make it okay, I just wish he hasn't done it )

Feeling very sorry for myself. Really wanted this to work out

OP posts:

TRexingInAsda · 15/08/2015 08:12

Apparently it's just chatting... no different to female work colleagues. ... Then wait for it.... I chat to other men at work and he's never mentioned it

OMG, the brass fucking balls of it!! You talk to men, so that makes it ok to chat up other women on dating sites?!! (and also it was an accident!)What the actual fuck is wrong with this twat? All his arguments are shit, and they all contradict each other. His only 'honest mistake' was taking you for a bloody mug. x

hullabaloo234 · 15/08/2015 08:00

Bloody hell OP, could he be more of a twat?! I'm so sorry your hurting but it's better you found out now what a grade A tosser he is than in abother 14 months. Rally your friends and let them look after you this weekend - go out, eat, drink and treat yourself to something pretty. Keep strong lovely, you deserve so much better x

mummy0bummy · 15/08/2015 07:37

OP I'm getting so angry at him on your behalf

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 15/08/2015 07:28

Fucker.

But it is really quite refreshing not to have to say LTB because you already are! Well done OP, stay strong

DoingBetterNow · 15/08/2015 07:22

Can't belive he is minimising this so much. In some ways that helps as it's pissing me off. At least that is useful energy I can work with.

OP posts:

afreshstartplease · 15/08/2015 06:49

Oh dear op, he sounds a right twat, ignore him you don't need that in your life

DoingBetterNow · 15/08/2015 06:38

Apparently it's just chatting... no different to female work colleagues. ... Then wait for it.... I chat to other men at work and he's never mentioned it

I mean seriously, WTF?

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 23:22

Take the dog out. You'll feel better for the walk. (If it's safe to so do.)

DoingBetterNow · 14/08/2015 23:14

Thanks Cozie, not seen that before :)

I'm just sulking. I'm allowed this weekend to mope then i'll get on with it.
Had a cuppa tea. Luckily I ate before I checked as I feel sick now. Poor dog hasn't been walked tonight, will go for a long one tomorrow to make up for it.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 23:09

I'd actually give him radio silence full stop. Further interaction would really be pointless and would just delay the OP's recovery even more.

AyeAmarok · 14/08/2015 22:59

Keep strong OP, you know what you know.

I'd give him radio silence until he starts telling the truth. But regardless if he does or not, end it. You can do so much better. And we'll done for working it out so quickly and not burying your head in the sand.

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 22:54

Here you are - my 17th favourite movie clip. Watch and sip.

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 22:49

There you go. (I don't know the POF rules.) He could have done but didn't.

Have you got a cup (or glass) of something? And a bad movie is always useful.

DoingBetterNow · 14/08/2015 22:46

I deleted mine okay too, I even managed to delete the fake one I created tonight to check on him (well I would have if it didn't make you keep it for 24hours!).

Hes not an idiot(well okay maybe he is an idiot), but hes computer savvy. He would have deleted it if he wanted to. He didn't want to, end of.

OP posts:

ChilliAndMint · 14/08/2015 22:40

I feel your pain..well almost.

It's so hard to tell if someone is genuine or not.

FWIW I deleted my POF profile and it was easy peasy.

What an utter shite!

DoingBetterNow · 14/08/2015 22:39

Thanks guys.

I do deserve better. this isn't even a one off "mistake" hes been actively doing it the whole relationship. I do deserve better, I thought he was okay, cant believe how wrong I got it.

Luckily Girls holiday already booked for September. Cocktails and Sunshine will help :)

OP posts:

ThreeQuartersEmpty · 14/08/2015 22:36

Just don't reply to him anymore. No more text, no more explanations.
No need for more shit.
Onwards and upwards OP.

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 22:34

...what I want is for him to be the person I thought he was...

He's not though, is he? You need some time to heal again now and it's best if it's never with him again.

TokenGinger · 14/08/2015 22:33

That's a kind of "oops, I slipped and my dick fell inside her," mistake.

I actually feel sorry for men like him who clearly have such low self-esteem, they need their egos massaging in many areas. Idiot.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

DoingBetterNow · 14/08/2015 22:24

Oh, Apparently its "an honest mistake" that's gotta be quote of the week.

OP posts:

DoingBetterNow · 14/08/2015 22:23

I know. I'm just so gutted.

I've already text friends, they aren't about tonight but they'll know when they pick up the messages and wouldn't let me go back :)

I dont need more proof. I know its over, what I want is for him to be the person I thought he was.

OP posts:

Smilingforth · 14/08/2015 22:23

Stay strong; thoughts are with you

Unflip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.