I finally had the talk last week where I said i will be leaving. And meant it. But plans to stay with a friend seem to have fallen through, and I am now faced with having to move to not very nice rented and sink £10k for a year's rental. H has said he will 'take his time' over any settlement - he will stay in family home with DS.
But strangely, having had the talk, I am feeling much more positive and stronger and intensively looking into possible options. I could rent somewhere with just one bedroom or flatshare (much cheaper) IF it was possible to have child contact back in the family home. Some arrangement like:
- DH and I agree childcare arrangements like 3 / 4 days pw each, on 'our' days we would each take full responsibility for any childcare necessary - then at 10.30pm or whatever I would go back to mine.
- All arrangements including any family events, school things, working hours etc to be agreed a week or two in advance.
- meals - seems so contrived to eat separately if we are both in at the same time... maybe agree one or two family dinners a week
- H would have to agree that he does not need to know what I am doing on my 'off' days - and this would be very very hard for him - it's been a huge issue that he needs to know in minute detail what I am doing all the time and kind of 'approve' it.
- maybe even agree alternate weekends so that we can get a break from home life.
What do you think? - is this doable or would it quickly become unbearable?