looking at exes profiles online?

[candyce83]

Just wondering who here looks up their exes online and why do you do it? Is it sheer nosiness or can you just not let go?

it seems like a lot of people do this but personally i cant look at anything to do with my exes. I just dont see the point...

[Bartlebee]

I have tried to look up a significant ex, but sadly, he doesn't do FB.

Friends of his do though so I have had the pleasure/pain of seeing him in photos. He has got fat and old looking.

[LockCover]

All the time. A few look great and I've tried to get in contact.

[HampshireBoy]

With the joys of friends reunited (does anyone still use that?) I looked up a few exes from years ago, it was interesting to see what they were up to and if any had put up a recent picture.

I came across my exW's profile on PoF and couldn't resist reading it, like most people I suspect, there was a bit of reinvention going on. I must admit I went back to read it a few times before deciding it was better not to bother, that was a few years ago so I've no idea if she is still on there.

I'm friends with a couple of exes on FB, the ones I want to remain friends with, others I don't worry about. But I agree it is very tempting sometimes to google all sorts of people and see what there is about them online, exes included.

[Frogisatwat]

Blimey. Thanks for the heads up on linkedin! My exes ow is on there.

[kellysmith2909]

I do it all the time! Good fun to see what they are getting up to! Especially to see what freak they have got with after me! haha lol. Most of the time I think to myself, what was I doing! LOL

[cruikshank]

And forumdonkey you will feel better when you block him, but you'll get there in your own good time. It's so hard now, when there are easy ways to torture yourself in the aftermath of a relationship breakup - back in the day, all you had to do was avoid the pubs they went to etc. But how can you prevent yourself from sitting at your own computer in your own home? I do sympathise, really.

[cruikshank]

Yes, that is a little extreme. Poor woman must have been very unhappy to do it though (and while doing it). I altered my ex's wikipedia page to say that he liked to dress up as Christopher Biggins while having sex and that he had an unrivalled collection of 60 denier tights in various sizes from around the globe. I was not in the best of places mentally back then.

Right, this LinkedIn thing, does it only apply to people who are members? I am not on LinkedIn so hopefully me looking up the name won't show up, will it? [sweats profusely] And at the collection of people who look you up, NoImSpartacus but it just goes to show, everyone's at it. Right? Right ...?

[chipshop]

I have a friend who split up with her ex, who had strung her along for a long time, and was completely tortured. She lost so much weight and just wasn't coping. She knew his passwords for email and social media and used to log into them all the time. She'd read his messages and even delete stuff from girls he flirted with. Went on for months until he cottoned on. She took FB stalking to a whole new level!

[PlantsAndFlowers]

You can change your settings so that you remain anonymous when you view someone's profile.

[PlantsAndFlowers]

Chuckling at the idea of all the people who are suddenly frozen with horror at the though of everyone they've spied on on LinkedIn knowing about it. I count myself as fortunate that I realised early on that this was a risk. AT LEAST YOU KNOW NOW!

[trevortrevorslattery]

about LinkedIn!!

[NoImSpartacus]

PlantsAndFlowers - you don't have to have an upgraded LinkedIn account. I don't, and I can see on a daily basis who has viewed me. I get some of the oddest people viewing my profile. The old dear in accounts that doesn't talk to anyone, an 17 year old intern (I'm 40, was secretly flattered), ex boyfriends, one who views me weekly, women I work closely with, one of my best friends, people I've never met, who I have no connections with. It's quite entertaining!

[GoatsDoRoam]

I used to look at an ex's FB profile when I was still in love with him (got over that after a couple months; it was quite unhealthy and needy at the time, though, but probably only human.)

And I checked my abusive ex-husband's work page in order to find out where he was going after the end of his contract term (ie. whether he would finally be moving far far away from me, which thankfully he was).

[PlantsAndFlowers]

cruikshank I think you have to have one of the upgraded LinkedIn accounts that you pay a monthly fee to be able to see who's viewed your profile.

[grumpychops1]

I look up my ex. Simply because he's the biggest compulsive liar I have EVER known and I enjoy reading his utter bullshit, that and nothing gives me greater pleasure than seeing him having a fuckin shit life.
Once he wrote something on fb about sending the bailiffs to my house.......not posted anything recently since the bailiffs seized HIS car!

[lauranorder50]

I've looked up an ex out of noseyness. He got married after we broke up because his (older than him, divorced with teenage children) girlfriend now wife was pregnant with their son.

He lost his looks around the time he got married and never did get them back. They got married again, to each other recently. Re-tying the knot ? Nuff said. He's a granddad since one of her kids/his step kids had a child. Maybe that explains why he looks at least ten years older than he really is.

I can't be bothered/can't remember anyone else that I'd bother looking up online.

I stalked someone I had a crush on through Facebook. I was so pleased to see him get married and not to the person I was jealous of.

I look up a, 'might have been' on the internet. Just to remind myself that he's still a prat.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

I've looked at my first ex's fb page. I was just curious. I was in a "I wonder if he ever thinks about the dd that he stalked for years but never bothered to just be a dad to" kind of mood. Would never ever contact him.

[HappyGirlNow]

cruikshank I get notifications through on my phone almost in real time to tell me who's been looking at my LinkedIn profile. Also, in the app there's a page that shows you a history of who's been looking and when. My colleague just accesses the actual website and he gets an email confirming.

If you want to have a nosy at someone without them knowing then LinkedIn is NOT the way to do it.. Unless you set up an anonymous account.

[WhatTheFork]

One day you'll get there, won't be long.

[forumdonkey]

whatthe it was only a few weeks ago I saw his picture on a dating site and didn't look at the profile so I'm getting there and it's been a long time since I have bothered on FB. I've absolutely no interest in any other ex's ever.

[WhatTheFork]

Forumdonkey... block him, you'll feel much better.

[forumdonkey]

I did look at an exs fb page when we first split up, even though all friends and family were (and still are) on strict instructions that I didn't want to know anything about him and what he was doing. By looking, I found I was only tormenting myself, so now I rarely look because I still have strong feelings for him and it still hurts. As for my other exs, they are not significant enough to me and I am really not interested enough to look. I'm hoping he will join that list very soon :-( Sometimes I hate social media

[WhatTheFork]

I get an email each week telling me who has been on my profile.

The dw of a friend of DH fell out with me in March. Apparently since then she's viewed my profile each week.

[cruikshank]

[shoulders with Mumtobenovember] Sometimes I end up on people's pages and I've long since forgotten why I've got there.

I reckon there is a lot more stalking of this kind going on that you would imagine.

(Trans: I can't believe none of you are as stalky and weird as I am)

Also, in a slightly horrified vein, how do you know who has looked you up on LinkedIn?

[MonetsGarden]

I have an ex I look at, and I know I shouldn't - I don't have romantic feelings for him, but he was a shit, and he seems to live a charmed life -