I can't remember the last time we had enjoyable sex

[C0rdelia]

Actually yes, it will have been 4 years ago .

My problems having sex now are -

6 weeks after dd1 he made me have sex because his mate, the army doctor, said 6 weeks post birth was 'normal'. I had stitches but he made me because his doctor mate said so. I had to go and be restiched.

After Dd2 he had 6 weeks in his head and that was THE date he could do it again. Forced again. The doctor at my post natal clinic asked if I wanted to call the police.

Dd3 and he was away for 6 months, he came back when I was 8 months pregnant and had looked after 2 babies for 6 months. He made me have sex every night because he'd been away.


This is 30 years later and the trauma in my heart is overwhelming. He got very cross today but I can't explain that 30yrs of forced sex has driven me mad.

[ladyblablah]

It's really time to get yourself educated in what has been going on in your marriage.
You have flashbacks because you suffered repeated trauma

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/sexual_abuse.html

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/subtle_sexual_abuse.html

You need to leave. But take your time, you have to get your head round all of this.

[3littlefrogs]

This is sexual assault and abuse.
You don't need to put up with it.
He sounds absolutely vile.
The doctor who suggested calling the police was absolutely right.

[CaptainSinker]

Most men of your husbands generation would neither wish to rape their wives nor make excuses about it. This can't be explained away by changing attitudes. This sort of behaviour is wrong now, was wrong thirty years ago and was wrong 1000 years ago.

You have the right to be safe. You have the right to be respected. You deserve peace and contentment in your life.

You do not have to stay with this man.

[CaptainSinker]

And you don't have to explain or justify things to him or anyone else.
You could just leave. Think about it. Wouldn't you feel more free?
He doesn't own you.
Talk to someone. Women's aid and rape crisis will listen and they won't try to make you leave if you don't want to yet.

[3littlefrogs]

I have been with my DH for 34 years (since 1979). This sort of behaviour would horrify him, and I am sure, most other men of our generation.
It is not normal behaviour, it is abuse. There is no excuse.

[Egghead68]

What on earth are you doing with someone who 'makes' you have sex? Honestly, end the relationship. You don't want another 30 years of this.