Really hurt by colleagues comment about my weight

[Inapickle123]

Just that, really.

Had DS 5 months ago and lost a lot of weight very quickly due to severe PND (was back in my size 8/10s in two weeks because I couldn't eat.

DS, while wonderful, is a difficult baby; reflux, no sleep, possible CMPI (bottle refusal) and a screamer. Consequently, I've spent the last 5 months existing on catnaps and rubbish food to get me through. I know it's not the healthiest but I am shattered. By the time DH comes home from work, I can't rouse myself to go for a run and I'm so exhausted from no sleep the night before that I can't do much more than go for leisurely walks with DS. Mainly to try and get him to actually sleep.

Anyway, I went in to see work when DS was 10 weeks old and colleague-we'll call him twat-completely avoided me. Wouldn't acknowledge my existences, refused to speak to me blah blah blah.

We used to be super close and he admitted (when drunk) that he had feelings for me. Nothing ever came of this and I tried very hard to
Remain friendly with him.

Anyway, fast forward to today and I had to go back to work for a KIT day. I've put on a bit of weight-nothing major but I'm tiny so it's fairly noticeable (probably about a stone over my pre-pregnancy weight but I'm scared to actually weigh myself). Bearing in mind twat face hasn't spoken to me in almost a year, he positively revelled in this, with the first words out his mouth being "shit, you've got really fat". When other folks recoiled in shock, he backtracked with a stupid twat laugh and said he was only kidding.

I know I shouldn't care but the damage -and self esteem bashing-has already been done. I know I don't look like I used to but who does when they can't spend 4-6 hours a week in the gym, or actually have the mental capacity to cook a healthy meal rather than calling dominoes?

I'm being stupid. I know its a drop in the ocean compared to what some folk are going through on here. He's a twat and I have much more important things to worry about but it's bloody hurtful.

[ThePinkOcelot]

I've got over a stone to lose and my baby is 9 and sleeps through all night!

Seriously though, what a prick! Ignore him OP. Don't give his comment head room!

[namechangesforthehardstuff]

This sort of thing is exactly what workplace regulation is for. It's sexist at best and harassment more likely ('you won't fuck me so I'll make you miserable'))

Complain.

[Wanttocomehome]

Sour sour sour sour SOUR grapes!

[Inapickle123]

Thanks for the responses. I'm glad I'm not just being overly sensitive.

I hate the fact that I can always think of a decent comeback after the event. Had I been less sleep deprived and not suffering from baby-brain, I would have just sighed and said something like "still a twat, I see" and left it at that.

A lot of it is my own insecurity. I miss my pre-pregnancy shape and just wish I had the same time to exercise that I used to. Loathe running and no gyms near me allow babies.

He's a tit. Probably has a small cock.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I was 27 not 29. Sorry for confusion there.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

A guy once found out I was engaged years ago.

After being totally charming to me before this he turned round and said (I was 29) that he could tell actually I was quite old as I was fatter and had let myself go. I was 5'8 size 10 to 12. And 27.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

I think you need to let your colleagues know he tried it on and you weren't interested.

He just has bashed ego.

Dont let it get to you. He just made himself look like a twat.

[NorthEasterlyGale]

Personally, I'd be looking up the grievance procedure and making a formal complaint.

Optional response for if you ever see him in a non-work setting and he is unwise enough to open his gob again: 'well, I can lose the weight when I'm ready, but there's no cure for being a cunt is there? Poor you.'

[Twinklestein]

Surely everyone over the age of 7 knows the old 'pass off a bitchy comment as a 'joke' MO.

It being a joke doesn't make it any better, if anything it makes it worse.

[kaykayblue]

FatherJake - you just set off the arsehole alarm.

What kind of pathetic man are you that you think it's in any way acceptable to call a woman "fat" after she just had a baby? It's never acceptable - ESPECIALLY not in a work environment - and ESPECIALLY when a woman has just had a sodding baby. Or do you perhaps think that women aren't at all self conscious after they have just had a baby and their entire body has changed into something that they might not even recognise?

If anything it's the WORST time to make a "joke" like that.

And yes, a grievance procedure is for situations like this. All employees have a right to be able to be in a work environment without having spiteful comments made about their physical appearance. Happily for everybody ever, no-one has a right to make vindictive, spiteful comments under the guise of a "bad joke".

[Twinklestein]

I would deal with it by just accepting that he is deeply hurt to take a swipe at you like that, and feel a bit sorry for him. A stone is nothing, it can be lost easily if you mind a lot about it, it's not as if he called you ugly. And if he did he would be even sadder.

If he does it again I'd be tempted to say: 'I was so [I]right[/I] not to choose you'.

Btw shit food may be contributing to your exhaustion, it doesn't fuel the body in times of stress. Some ready but healthy meals from the supermarket would be a much better option on all fronts.

[picnicbasketcase]

Little laugh and 'Oh dear, have you still not got over that time I rejected you? Poor you.'

Too mean?

[BalloonSlayer]

"Oh yeah, did you ever hear back from Diet Coke? About the advert . . .? "

[FatherJake]

For god's sake just ignore it. Grievance procedure and reporting to HR for saying that someone has got fat when they've been pregnant? My god is that the world we live in now?

If he'd said it when no baby involved then different story. But given the context his bad joke should just be ignored, made light of or treated with disdain.

[kaykayblue]

You need to report his comment to Human Resources. You can give the names of others who were there when he made the comment.

He will be disciplined for it, which is completely right. Also, he will get the chance to see that "jokes" like that are unacceptable.

What a cunt.

[m0therofdragons]

After I had dd, eventually I lost the weight, returned to work and 5 colleagues individually commented about how tiny my boobs were. Now, when bfing my boob were huge. After weight loss and stopping bfing they went back to original size. Comments were along lines of, "where have your boobs gone?!" Erm I was still a 32dd ffs so not tiny! People are stupid and rude. I would demand an apology.

[ravenmum]

This has nothing to do with your post-baby shape and everything to do with him being sorry he didn't manage to attract you, and someone else did. After moping about feeling sorry for himself, he's now trying to find reasons why it's a good thing he didn't win you over. If this is the best reason he can come up with, you are clearly quite a catch!

[IWillYeah]

Unprofessional, idiotic and cruel.

Be an ice queen with him from now on in. And if he drops any more comments like this, complain to your manager!

[bragmatic]

It's not about the weight. You could have been at your pre-pregnancy weight and he'd have found something negative to say.

Glasgow's response is perfect.

[Deathraystare]

Next time he makes any comment about you - good or bad, look at him with obvious disgust and say "Why on earth do you think I am interested in anything YOU say?" then shake your head and walk away.

[mammadiggingdeep]

"Yeah I gained a bit of weight. I had a baby. What's the reason you're ugly inside and out??"

[areyoubeingserviced]

Agree , that if he continues with this behaviour, put in a grievance.

[areyoubeingserviced]

When you see him next time be ultra polite.
Don't engage, that will really piss him off.
Please don't waste a minute longer thinking about this tosser .
He is bitter and jealous .

[bberry]

"Yeah, ok Mr Universe"

[Dinnaeknowshitfromclay]

Get back to work and get back at him in other ways. There are ALWAYS other ways .