Saying I love you. Does it matter?

[Bobbybaby]

Me and my DP have been together for 2 years. We are really different people, I am loving, outgoing and irresponsible. He is quite a serious, quiet and very stubborn.

I say I love you to him because I feel it and it naturally just comes out of my mouth sometimes. But he doesnt say it back. He has never said it and I dont know if he ever will.
It doesnt really bother me because I think that he does but a friend of mine says its weird and she wouldnt put up with that. Does it matter to you? And if so how long do you think before someone should say that?

[punygod]

Depends on the relationship.

With stbxh it felt like a duty, and towards the end I said it but didn't mean it - but he got arsey if I didn't.

Me and DP, on the other hand...all the time, always mean it - can't express myself enough, actually

[JapaneseMargaret]

I read your opening sentence, and thought, 'wow, how does that even work?'

I mean, how does a loving, open person even be with a serious, quiet, stubborn person oh man, I hate stubbornness as a trait.

But of course, opposites do attract, and these particular traits don't necessarily mean you're incompatible.

There are people out there who wouldn't mind never being told 'I love you' by the person they share their life with. On the whole, they're probably serious, quiet stubborn people.

Loving people, on the other hand, probably can't go happily through life never hearing these words.

To me, this does seem like a waving red flag of incompatibility in your relationship, but only you can know a). if that's actually the case, and b). if it is, whether it's surmountable long-term or not.

[Back2Two]

As cogito said it is SO personal.
Maybe if you're posting on here it is a little niggle?
If it's a niggle it may well grow and could turn into a resentment.
My sister had a dp who never said it (25 years)
It wrecked her head and she wrecked his over this issue.

Then again you may not care.
My dh doesn't say it as often as I do (which is not exactly often although I feel it daily) but he does say it. And I know that he does as he is very lovely!

[lotsohummus]

My fiance didn't say it for quite a few months. I thought it was a sign of seriousness and was waiting for it. I asked him about it and he fudged around saying 'I feel very strongly' etc and also said that previous girlfriends had pushed him into saying it, and because people say it all the time he thought it was a meaningless statement. I left it there and didn't mention it again. I told him I loved him a couple of times in the following months and then he gradually started saying it of his own accord. Now he says it quite often, but not as frequently as other people have reported on here. But it's enough for me, I don't question his true feelings.

[Flexibilityiskey]

I think showing it is more important, but I think it would concern me that he doesn't say it at all. I think it is something you need to talk to him about

[Bobbybaby]

Hello, so sorry it's taken me a long time to reply. Thanks all for your honest thoughts and advice. The niggle did indeed become bigger so a few days ago I asked him outright:

Me: do you love me?
Him: Yes, of course I do. I'm not very good at saying it, but I do love you.

That's it really!