I've name-changed for this. Sorry if it's long, I just need to get it out. DP and I are engaged and we've been together for 15 months. We live together, no DC.
On Saturday, we got into a huge argument. I don't even remember what it was about now, but it escalated and he got very angry. Eventually he broke down crying (first time ever) and told me that when he got angry, it was a defense thing - that he wasn't angry at whoever he was shouting at, he was angry at himself. We talked and he agreed to get help and see the doctor. He told me he wouldn't get angry with me anymore like that, and he made a GP appointment for next week.
Anyway, things since then have been tense between us. On Monday, it came to a head again and we had a corker of a row. I had a panic attack and I wanted a bath to calm down. He ran it for me and I asked him to leave me in peace for a bit. He got the huff and refused to leave the room (I was in the bath at this point) and I told him (yes, I know I shouldn't) that he was being a selfish idiot. He stormed out, then came back in, came right up into my face, bright red, and said "say that to my face." I couldn't back away and obviously I couldn't get up and leave the room. He stormed out after that.
I don't know what to do. Please don't say "LTB" because he's not a bad man. He's angry in a lot of aspects of his life, it's not exclusive to home - he gets angry with people at work and at minor incidents if things go wrong. He's agreed to get help and I'm going with him to his GP appointment next week, but he thinks everything should just go back to normal now 'cause he's apologised.
I don't know what advice I want here but I really needed to get it out. Sorry it's long.
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Relationships
DP has anger issues
googoodolly · 23/04/2014 17:17
alteregoforthispost
you are one strong lady.
Sadly I think at times, for women knowingly entering into a problematic relationship with a man who will be no good for them, they don't truly want to listen to what can go wrong. & yes, they will end up with children and then tell their children "I held it together for YOU", and just expect their children will be ok with their excuse. Really it seems to be about, being seen to do 'the right thing' and a fear of being without a man. Whilst I understand that I know I find it really, really difficult to feel sorry for women who wilfully put themselves and their wants 1st, whilst the children become unhappy bystanders and are just expected to play happy families in the eyes of the world when they grow up. Its all about how it 'looks'.
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