OK. H and I have dd 19 months. Admittedly things haven't been rosy for a while; we have been quite snappy with each other, our sex life isn't great, etc. We have moved quite a few times with H job and recently we have made what we hope is a permanent move, somewhere we will be settling down.
A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned something about having another dc in future (not right now as I thought we had to work on our marriage a bit). He flipped out and said he didn't want any other children, ever! (Has never mentioned this before, and I have said that I would like 2 children). I was a bit surprised but thought ok, he might change his mind in the future.
Last night he was very quiet and all of a sudden asked me if I thought it was best if we separate! He said that he didn't want us to end up resenting each other as he definitely does not want any more dc. I said I didn't just want another child with some other man, I didn't want another baby if he isn't fully on board, and I would rather have a happy family unit with one child than be on my own with two. He said no and started insisting that he knew I wouldn't be happy if I didn't have another child. (I think I would always feel a bit of heartache if I didn't have another, but what I said to him was true, I don't want one with someone who doesn't want one).
Nothing more was said until just now. He has just sent me a text saying that dd and I can stay in the house for as long as we want (we rent and it would be too expensive for me to pay as a single parent, I am a housewife) and that he would help me out with a deposit for a new place for dd and myself. I am stunned and sad. I replied saying I don't want to separate, and he said it's better if we do it now, rather than later down the line when I decide I want another dc and he doesn't.
Is it me, or does all this sound a bit suspicious? It seems to me like he is trying to make himself out to be the good guy and convince me that a separation would be for my benefit. 
I'm racking my brains as to why so sudden. It crossed my mind that there might be an OW, but I honestly can't see him having the time for an affair, plus we only moved into this new area a couple of months ago, not a lot of time for him to meet someone.
What does everyone think? I'm just so hurt and confused. We were having problems yes, but I didn't think it was anything we couldn't work on.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
H wants to separate but I don't know why
Loverdose · 14/04/2014 16:34
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
It's not your fault Op. It's his- he left his family. Not you. You made vows and have stuck by them and while there is no evidence of OW at the minute, he must be a total shit to not even discuss this change of heart with his wife. Onward to better things and a better life for you and dc. 
Hi loverdose..glad to hear you'll be able to stay in the house and you sound very 'onward' as I did about my marriage breakdown. Sad, but determined to look to the future. I wish you and your DD all the very best. Maybe there is no OW, but regardless, you deserve better than someone who can check out on his marriage so easily 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.