small problem in new relationship

[brittanyspierce]

I met a lovely man who I've been seeing for a couple of months now, he's kind, funny and smart and I enjoy spending time with him but... we dtd for the first time last week and he has a tiny penis!!
I'm just not sure I can stay with someone if the sex is disappointing?
Obviously this is not something that is going to change or improve but wonder is this something I can become accustomed to? Is it just not what I'm used to or is it a deal breaker?

[dottypotter]

what is considered small?

[LoisPuddingLane]

I agree there are some balanced posts. But there are more than a few "ewwwww small dick" type posts, which don't seem very nice, to me.

[GarlicMarchHare]

Well, apart from a couple of iffy phrases, Lois, this thread has been all about how different things work for different people. A lot of women don't need PIV at all for satisfaction; I envy that. With those whose sexuality requires a penis, much depends on overall build and/or internal configuration. You may have noticed several posters referred to 'genital compatibility' - that's not a made-up thing, it's a physical reality!

We owe it to ourselves to honour what works for us.

[LoisPuddingLane]

If I were a small-membered chap, it would shrink even smaller reading this thread. Personally I have never really enjoyed a big, big one. I think it just depends on the shape you are inside, to some extent. Having my ovaries shaken never did a lot for me.

[AmyMorris4974260]

TalisaMaegyr,I am entitled to my opinion,and am speaking from practical experience.If the guy only has a small dick,why should you have to put up with rubbish sex all your life.Your only live once.It seems like someone like would put up with the rubbish sex,and would be really missing out on the greatest pleasure in life,which is good quality sex.You must be crazy TalisaMaegyr.

It does seem from reading other posts that most women on here are in agreement with me.With one recent woman saying,

"I am so happy that I ended a couple of relationships for that reason, how can you fall in love with someone if they are disappointing you in the most intimate way.

I have an amazing man who is also amazing in bed and we are very compatible. I've never felt so close to anyone else and he makes me so happy, I think the good sex makes everything so much happier in general. I'm glad I waited for him to come along!"

I couldn't agree more with her,as since leaving the small dick guys I have encounted,I am now with a man who is shall we say is very generous in the dick department.Gives me orgasm after orgasm,and have never felt better.

[betman]

I once went out with a man with a small penis (about the size of my thumb) and the sex was crap. He always tried hard but couldn't take any hints of how to improve things. My husband has a large penis and is great in bed. If it's not right it's not right and for me good sex is a deal breaker.

[kentishgirl]

( "the holy grail that is a man who is very well endowed and knows how to use it??god yes )

Size doesn't guarantee good or bad. You can have too much, or too little, though, and it effects what sort of sex you can have (positions etc). Real micropenises make penetrative sex rather disappointing - you and they have to be willing to make up for it in other ways.

The OP's chap doesn't have a micro though, just a skinny. I'd agree with other posters that these are the best, but they still do the job if you and he put in the effort.

Try again, OP, he might surprise you. I don't think first time sex is a good reflection of how things will be when you both relax a bit.

[TalisaMaegyr]

I didn't say all of them, did I? I said IN MY EXPERIENCE!

[EyelinerQueen]

Exactly yummy.

There's been no mention of the holy grail that is a man who is very well endowed and knows how to use it??

Or maybe I've just been very lucky so far in my life .

[yummystepford]

Men with bigger dicks aren't always crap in bed! My oh is pretty massive and very talented and has brilliant endurance

[normalishdude]

Deal breaker for sure. I have dumped women because of their vagina size.

[yummystepford]

There is nothing wrong with ending a relationship because you are not sexually compatible. Sex shouldn't be an issue so early on. I sometimes think men deserve the benefit of the doubt the first time, in theory they should be very eager and not have had sex recently in theory, which may affect performance.

But everytime I've given a nice guy another chance I have not really seen much improvement and have soon gone off him anyway.

I am so happy that I ended a couple of relationships for that reason, how can you fall in love with someone if they are disappointing you in the most intimate way.

I have an amazing man who is also amazing in bed and we are very compatible. I've never felt so close to anyone else and he makes me so happy, I think the good sex makes everything so much happier in general. I'm glad I waited for him to come along!

I do believe if you feel disappointed now those feelings will only increase. I'm sure if it had have been good and you had felt a good connection to him you wouldn't have even questioned whether or not his penis size would be an issue. Clearly it's sex with him in general. Good luck xx

[croquet]

Ah ok Talisa. And an interesting observation!

[TalisaMaegyr]

Oh I have no problem with the question being asked! That's what places like this are for. It's opinions like 'if you stay with someone with a little cock, you'll probably end up cheating' that I have an issue with.

Anyway, as an aside - in my experience, men with a big one are usually crap in bed. They don't make an effort, because they seem to think that the sheer size of them is enough Well, it isn't.

[LoisPuddingLane]

It is possible, as a lady, to train your flange to "feel" smaller things. That's what our muscles are for. I actually like a smaller dildo these days.

[croquet]

To all the objectors - surely this is the kind of thing women ought to be able to ask each other about on the internet? It's not a nice topic, no - but there are enough people who have had the same quandary. I don't think people should tell the OP she shouldn't have asked.

If you can't sheepishly ask advice on an awkward problem in an anonymous online forum then where can you?!

[TalisaMaegyr]

AmyMorris4974260 sorry, but that is utter shit. 'End up cheating' because the guy has a small penis? Nonsense.

OP, I can see why you're disappointed, but really, sex can be good whatever the size. If he's shit in bed, he's shit in bed, nothing to do with size.

I'm really shocked at the tone of some of these posts. My stbexh is small, but we had a great sex life.

[HairyGrotter]

I had an ex with an extremely small penis, I tried and tried to make it work (the relationship) but his issues with his manhood impacted all areas of the relationship. I never ever mentioned it, would be supportive, encouraging etc but he preferred to use porn and turned out to have a bigger dick on his forehead.

He may be a nice guy, at least try with him as it's not all about penetration but be aware that his issues around it may well impact you in other ways!

[AmyMorris4974260]

Believe me when I say,that there is nothing worse if you really like a guy and then find out he only has a small dick!Reminds me of a really nice exboyfriend who I had to dump because of it. Cocktail sausage comes to mind ladies,haha.

When we two people love each other making love is the best way to express it and having a small dick is going to make the sex very disappointing.There are other ways to get pleasure but nothing can compare to good quality penetration sex,and to get that good quality penetration your man needs to have a decent size willy.

Sex is way too important in a relationship to compromise and feel unsatisfied.Don't forget the feeling of being unsatisfied will come each and every time you have sex.We only live once and it would be awful for you never to have good sex again if you stayed with him.So definitely dump the guy especially if you haven't been going out long,sad but true I'm afraid.As if you did stay with him you will probably end up cheating,which is bad.

[buttonortwo]

Well said innogen. I understand what op is saying. I had no problem with ex husband but exp was smaller and I knew what sex could be like but wasn't with him. This was due to his size, chemistry was there. It's just compatibility - both ways.

[Innogen]

To people playing the 'what if a man said this?' card - if a man was struggling to enjoy sex with his partner, because their genitals were mismatched, I'd tell him too keep looking too.

This isn't about anyone having a micropenis or a bucket fanny, this is about finding someone whose body matches yours. Regardless of gender.

[EyelinerQueen]

Yes yes of course Gert because any woman who can't attain sexual pleasure from a tiny penis (note that I said tiny and not smaller than average as per my original post) must have a bucket fanny .

Fwiw I don't (thank you kegels) but do keep on wittering if it makes you happy. These threads always go a certain way.

OP - you haven't said anything untoward at all. You've been honest which some people don't like. I think it's a good idea to have another go in a booze free scenario. Hopefully things will improve . If not then don't feel bad for not pursuing the relationship. Everyone has their own needs and they deserve to have said needs met.

[piratecat]

i once met someone with a very very small one, and it was a real shock.

He was a big guy physically, and i had never encountered such a difference. We had alot of passion, but it was very difficult to feel really turned on during intercourse.

[GertTheFlirt]

This is bullshit. I don't care if he looks like Idris Elba and has a tongue equipped with an outboard motor. If his penis is tiny (length and girth) then it is a dealbreaker for me.

A large element of sexual fulfillment is the 'fill' part. A wotsit sized appendage is simply not going to work.

dear god, there's always one with a bucket

[ShinyTurd]

Ick, thin willy, not good . I don't particularly like them either but it wouldn't put me off a man as a potential bf if I really like him. You have to size up (get it!!) whether you think he is bf material or whether this will bother you too much.