DP really not that bothered?

[Prforone]

Have had a really crap day at work today. Totally humiliated by a work colleague who decided to give me a major bollocking in front of everyone for doing something wrong on a spreadsheet, rather than taking me to one side and explaining my mistake so I could rectify it.

DP called me at lunchtime to talk about coming round this evening. I promptly burst into tears, told him I was having a bad day and we could leave it for tonight if he'd prefer. But he insisted on coming round because I was upset, which was nice to hear.

When he finally did turn up tonight (after going down the pub and then grabbing some dinner from the chip shop), I was just putting DD to bed. When I came back downstairs, he said "So, do you want to tell me about today, or just write it off and forget about it?". I got very tearful and proceeded to tell him what had happened, only to look round and see him checking the texts on his phone! I stopped mid-sentence, looked at him and eventually he looked up from his phone and said "Yes, I'm listening" (clearly hadn't been, considering how long it took him to realise I'd stopped talking).

"Sorry, I'll let you get back to your phone" I said, then skulked off to the kitchen to get on with the washing-up. I guess I was hoping he'd follow me in there, apologise and let me finish my story. But no, next thing I heard was him chuckling at something on the telly.

So I sat in the kitchen for a while, had a little cry, made myself a cuppa and came back into the lounge to find him fast asleep on the sofa.

He woke up five minutes ago, sat up, gave me a peck on the cheek and told me he was going up.

I am truly gutted. I just wanted to get off my chest what a horrible day I'd had and have him give me a big cuddle to make me feel better. Instead I'm sat here wondering if this is beginning to get a bit one-sided. I've listened to him and comforted him when he's been through crap in the past. Was it really asking too much to expect the same from him?

[JoinYourPlayfellows]

I don't understand why you didn't tell him to go home instead of taking himself off to bed after coming around to your house and ignoring you all evening.

He sounds like a lazy twat who just uses you as a warm body when it suits him.

I'm sure you can do a lot better.

[Prforone]

I don't know either Join

[Offred]

First of all I think you need to do something about the thing that happened at work. Do you think you could calmly explained to the colleague that you accept and know you did something wrong but that challenging you aggressively in front of other colleagues made you feel humiliated and that you wanted to talk to them about it and sort it out so that there wasn't any ill feeling and you could all work together productively?

Secondly I agree your partner doesn't sound particularly supportive but you must know that the kitchen thing was a bit manipulative. I think you need to speak to him about it because this will breed resentment and it sounds like he may be taking you for granted a bit.

[Lovelypot]

No I don't think your hard work, you just wanted a bit of support after a bad day, it would annoy me too, some men aren't very good at knowing what you want though, I'd want him to follow me to and say sorry please tell me and would feel the same as you when he didn't but he probably thought you wanted to be left alone. He's not read the situation well at all though and I would be extremely pissed off too. Hope you have a better day tomorrow and make sure he realises how he has let you down.

[Prforone]

Thanks, you lovely lot. Have appreciated ALL your comments and am going to take this weekend (DD at sleepover and DP working) as an opportunity to work out if it's worth having him around. Love him dearly but sometimes wonder if he feels the same

[Bettercallsaul83]

Wow, I'd be majorly pissed off if my BF did that! & that's speaking as someone who has to console my BF every day about his work "issues" and his bitching about others.. I'd never just get my phone and start texting!

Also, he drove to yours after 1.5 pints? Isn't that over the limit? I though half a pint or a pint would be the maximum allowed, anyhow, beside the point.

I also wouldn't have thought he would have gone pub, then chippy when he knew you were upset, and he should have gone out for a meal with you instead. Sorry, he should have WANTED to go out for a meal with you and DD.

Hmmmm, sounds like he's got comfy and isn't too fussed really.

[BakerStreetSaxRift]

RedFocus, sorry to bust your bubble, bit yourDH I'd not listening. I know because I do the same thing to my DH, he asks if I'm listening, I repeat what he said word for word. He hasn't caught on yet luckily that I'm not listening at all, in fact, I'm sometimes reading Mumsnet,but my brain manages to replay the sound of what he just said and I work out the words.

[BakerStreetSaxRift]

But yes I do know it's rude and I am trying to stop.