Avoiding Becoming Bitter/judgmental

[Dirtybadger]

Hello again!

I won't many specifics because I don't know how relevant they are and it'd take an age; but how do you avoid becoming bitter and judgmental to your own detriment after a betrayal? If I wasn't suspicious and paranoid about people's motives before (which I probably was, to some degree) I definitely am now.
In some ways it's been good for me. I've always been someone who has avoided conflict and generally let things eat me up. I am now able to stand up for myself a little better. And I'm definitely better equipped now to identify red flags (although I have no intentions of any romantic relationships in the future whatsoever at the moment).
I think I may have gone too far the other way, though, and essentially become someone for whom no one can be trusted or is good enough. Except a few female family members.

I probably should add- the betrayal was by ex"d"p. I have nothing to do with him now so it's something 'in the past' not something I need help escaping or 'coming to terms with' within the relationship. We split about 8 weeks ago.

Thanks

If your natural tendency has been to avoid conflict, please people and keep the peace at your own expense then what you regard as going too far the other way - especially as it's only been 8 weeks - is totally normal. It's quite healthy to regard others with a certain cynicism and mistrust until you get to know them a lot better and learn to trust your own judgement more. Doesn't make you bitter necessarily but the alternative is naivety... and that gets you nowhere.

It's a learning process interpreting human behaviour. A life's work :)