Would you have an affair out of spite?

[Abbykins1]

I am quite vindictive by nature,although very loyal and loving to family,friends,partner’s etc.

So the question is,if you found out your partner was say for example a serial offender when it comes to being unfaithful.
Would you consider having an affair,one night stand,kiss or whatever by way of revenge.

Would you feel better if you did,or have?

Please don’t go in to the principles and rights and wrongs of it,this is a hypothetical question asked out of curiosity.

Just to get the ball rolling.

Would I ?

Yes!

[Logg1e]

I used the term psychopath as in it's clinical definition of a personality disorder - reduced or absent social responsibility, empathy or remorse.

Funnily enough, I did not mean that people who pretend to love, care for and admire someone to get revenge on another, are murderers.

[Trills]

How exactly does one go about having an affair out of spite?

I'd imagine that the only willing participants in a "spite affair" would either be very stupid (not to notice that you weren't doing it because you liked them) or very thoughtless (not to care that you didn't actually like them) and either way I wouldn't want to do anything with those people.

[Back2Basics]

I think I would as a big fuck you tbh. But I am a very fuck you in a self destructive way type of person. One of my exes cheated on me so I stole £300 off him and rang him to tell him I was spending his money as a fuck you.

Compared to the majority of posters on mn post I think I'm quite immoral.

[YankeeMum8]

No though tempting it may be.

[Abbykins1]

Fascinating stuff!

I guess I am a bit (out there) and revenge doesn’t seem to be a wise or healthy solution to the problem.

I.m not a journo,if I was I would be researching the relevant academic papers not sounding out the lovely ladies and some gents of MN.

I wanted to hear from real people who can argue the case in a rational manner,which is what’s happened.

I’m not a psychopath,they are not known for canvassing the opinions of others before carrying out what ever action or atrocity takes their fancy.
Usually murder.

I am though,better informed.

Thank you all.

xxxx

[stooshe]

Someone close to me, yet very unwise and approaching middle age cannot keep herself dickless, even now. A "relationship" ends and she has "another" stored up, ready to ease her pain. Her first proper boyfriend was a serial cheat. She stayed with him for sixteen years and indulged in regular "he did it to me, so I'll "cheat", too" dalliances. She has had another boyfriend/father of child who, just to look at him, you knew (unless virginal) what he was all about. My close associate, instead of dumping his arse, again indulged in tit for tat. I remember her Mona Lisa countenance when the two men in her life (at the time) nearly had a set-to outside her home.
I guess I'm trying to say is that revenge isn't wise. Neither is hiding what may be true behaviour behind a partner's transgressions. Don't kid yourself that a revenge affair isn't just an excuse to reveal your inner hoe .(smile).
Personally, I leave. I don't grind any "friends" of exes, either. Lots of fish in the sea, if it's a bunk up you want.
KickThatDirtOffYourShoulder 18.41 - I don't agree with your sentiment, but I appreciate the honesty. Too many people use the "revenge" excuse, as if one can cheat and remain "virtuous" at the same time. At least you are robust and upfront.

[KickThatDirtOffYourShoulder]

Yeah I would. Not to get back at him just because well, why not? If he isn't being faithful why shoud I?

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

No. Vengeance is for fools. I should know, I've nearly destroyed myself with it before.

However, years back, when we were MUCH better looking, a chap made a very obvious play for DW. She didn't immediately break his jaw, so rather than go all Bluebeard, I sidled up to him and murmured something about threesomes. With him in the middle.

Tee hee.

[oldgrandmama]

I reckon OP is a journalist. Takes one to know one ... (LONG retired now, oldgrandmama adds hastily).

[Upnotdown]

No. I couldn't bring myself to do that out of spite. I'd rather let the person go than keep them on the condition that I get my own back. Waste of energy and a heap of stress for something that would only make you feel worse.

[AngelaDaviesHair]

Never act out of spite. In this or any other context. It is low and damaging and very likely to backfire. If you find yourself feeling spiteful to that extent, just leave without looking back.

[Logg1e]

Three problems. An unfaithful husband, a guilty conscience and someone hurting because you've used them.

[headinhands]

If you do that you've then got two problems: an unfaithful husband and a guilty conscience so why give yourself another issue? If you're ever in a situation where you even think of doing that I'd say the relationship was dead in the water and you need to get out and work on your own issues.

[ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight]

No

But p has seen pictures of me with other men pre him (not sexual just friendly, hugging or play fighting ect) and I've seen the worry and devastation in his face as he asked me who they are, when pic was taken.. I didn't like him feeling that way so showed him and explained, or if on fb I'd post them with a description that made things clear.

Though I do wonder, if it hurts, worries and frightens him that much, how come he did it to me - but I'd never lower myself to cheat, for revenge or anything else.

[Pickles79]

My ex repeatedly had one night stands throughout our five year relationship. Saying you'd leave the relationship immediately if you found out such things is easier said than done. But when I did eventually leave the relationship I may have accidentally slept with his best friend several times. He never found out (I didn't care either way if he did it not) but it was enough to know in my own mind that I'd done it to him, regardless of whether he knew or not.

[ThinkFirst]

I wouldn't lower myself to his standards or use someone else in that way. He'd be gone as soon as I found out though so if I did decide to sleep with someone else I'd be single by then.

My sister did have a revenge affair, but it backfired on her. She didn't do it to get back at her exP though, she did it to get back at the OW. She slept with the husband of the OW and then tried to rub it in her face, however the OW didn't want her H anymore and wasn't in the least bit bothered. OW is still with sisters ex now, years later.

[KatieScarlett2833]

I'd be single so the scenario would never happen.

[PoshPaula]

How cynical and shallow that sounds, the idea of a revenge affair. I truly hope I'd never do that to myself, or someone else.

[Jaffacakesallround]

Are you serious?

Has this happened to you or are you a) bored, b) a journo 3)just plain nosey.

[AnyFucker]

I dunno. What is sauce for the goose (or gander)...

There's been loads of blokes I've fancied having a go with over the years, but chose not to

That agreement has been breached, why would I restrain myself any further ? After the dust has settled of course.

[CuChullain]

No.

If Mrs CuChullain had an affair I think I would be too devastated to even contemplate shagging someone else

Plus, you run the risk of the ensuing propaganda war being turned against you as 'you were having an affair as well'.

[MissScatterbrain]

Remember the saying - before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.

[AnyFucker]

if you dumped the cheating fucker, it wouldn't be an affair though

it would be having sex with someone because you felt like it

so not really a "revenge affair" that I would indulge myself with, I suppose

what I certainly would not do, and you do hear about it, is go after an otherwise attached bloke, that's just sick

[Joysmum]

The world, and the people in it, can be shit.

I keep going by trying to be the person I'd like others to be. So no, I wouldn't have an affair as nothing is worth giving up my own self respect for.