Apologies for any typos or acronym faux pas, I'm typing this on a tablet :-)
First, the facts; DW and I have been married for 13 years, with a much wanted DS of 6. Generally it's been a happy marriage but late last year, after a few discussions she said she wanted to go away for a few days for a break. In early November, she leaves saying "Don't text or phone me, I don't want you stressing me out", so I oblige,give her her space and after a couple of days she returns. A month later, again she wants to go away, but things didn't feel right so I do a bit of detective work. I had noticed her use of Facebook had gone up, and having previously managed to get where she'd gone first time out of her I do some checking.
Apparently a few months earlier, a "friend" on FB had sent a few sexually provocative messages to her, and this person coincidentally lived only a couple of miles from where she said she was going. The urge to check her underwear drawer got very strong, to see if her Ann Summers undies were there, and needless to say they weren't. By this point, she's been gone long enough that I've had to change my work hours to look after our son and any attempts to contact her were unsuccessful. To cut a long story short, she's back, but denies getting up to anything (planning the trip in advance, repeating it and taking underwear kind of makes me doubt it), and things have improved between us but now it feels like she's getting back into some of the same behaviours she had before she went (using FB again after deactivating her account, angling her phone away from me when I get close and perhaps most telling, not initiating any affection.
To quote Springsteen 's song Brilliant Disguise, which ran through my head constantly when she went away the second time; "God have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of"
I throw myself open to the collective wisdom of the forum.
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Relationships
Partner's likely infidelity
polymath · 19/01/2014 23:16
As a side note to those out there who've found themselves in a similar situation, the Sexual Health clinic was nothing to be scared of. It was a bit weird seeing a familiar face there, doubly so as they worked there 
I'm in a weird place at the moment, MissScatterbrain, I tried to begin the chat, but she was evasive (verbally and physically) and I lost the will to try and pursue things. At the moment we're being civil, and that's about the best I can say.
Fairenuff, it's taken me a while to post because I appear to have done something which means that when I'm logged in this thread disappears. When I log out, it's there, so I had to do a search for posts by myself to find it 
.
I'm still here, the talk didn't go too well (stuck to her story), despite letting her know I knew more than she thought I did. I then had the pleasure of an overnight stay in hospital with what I have been told was stress related chest pain (which I would say was a diplomatic way of telling me it was anxiety). As you can tell from the time I'm posting, I'm sleeping well 
. If it wasn't for my DS,lack of local family and mortgage I'd be long gone by now....
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