Since the last time he saw DS. He's sent me a facebook message, just a general "How are you" type thing.
Background info is that we (DS, me and DP) moved abroad about 3 months ago. XP did get in contact about 6 months before this and I explained the situation and we never heard from him again.
We think he's twigged that we're back for Christmas and wants to see DS. DP is vehemently against this as he's worried it will be too much unsettlement for DS in a time which is unsettling for him anyway, with the move etc. He's settling in well but obviously there are some issues with adjusting etc. He doesn't really remember his dad and although we have tried to explain it to him and talk about him he doesn't really understand. The last time he saw him he was 2.5, but the last time he was seeing him regularly was when he was about 2. The last time he saw him DS didn't recognise him at first because it had been 4 months.
DP reckons that if XP wants to see DS then he should build up contact more slowly by writing letters and maybe having a skype conversation first before seeing him in person, I'm just finding it hard to stomach the idea of saying "No, you can't see your son at Christmas even though we will be in the country and probably won't be back for 6-8 months." But then DP has pointed out that if XP wanted to see him at Christmas it doesn't take much for him to figure out that we might be there and have got into contact earlier, not 3 weeks before. He doesn't like the idea that XP only wants to see him to show him off as a trophy to his latest girlfriend, which is probably exactly the reason that he DOES want to see him.
What do you think? I'll obviously make whichever decision I think is best but would appreciate any thoughts on the situation which might help me untangle my feelings about it. We'll be back for about 3 weeks if that makes any difference.
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XP has got in touch after 2.5 years
18 replies
BertieBowtiesAreCool · 09/12/2013 10:59
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moldingsunbeams ·
09/12/2013 11:21
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moldingsunbeams ·
09/12/2013 11:28
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