I'm leaving

[GuernseyTeddy]

Just wanted to say it. Decided today when I was ironing, sorting out the clues for his daughter's advent boxes and entertaining our four month old son - whilst he lay stretched out on the sofa, telly on and ipad in hand.

I've no job, no money, nowhere to live - but U can sort it right???

[mammadiggingdeep]

Yes, get your dad to you the day he goes. He can help you out with the car, look after ds whilst you pack up and give you moral support too.

If you want to do practical things, get online tonight and make a list if numbers, car insurance for one so you can call to add your dad on. Make a list of what you need to take/ sort out. Don't let him find the list obviously (make it in your phone maybe?)

[GuernseyTeddy]

Yeah access is going to be a nightmare.

50/50 wouldn't be possible as:
a) I'd be moving near my family, a 2.5 hour drive away (without traffic)
b) his job requires him to leave the house every day at 7..he doesn't return until 7 at night and he sometimes needs to make overseas trips
c) he wouldn't be able to afford the nursery fees and he wouldn't get any tax credits etc due to his earnings. After commuting costs, maintenance charges for his daughter and mortgage/bills etc paid, we have no disposable income. I've pointed this out to him during previous discussions and his only response was that I'd need to live locally if we split - not something I'd consider as I have no friends or family here and no ties to this area at all.

[GuernseyTeddy]

His dd lives with her mother. Debating whether to write her mother a letter, so she's prepared for any emotional fallout from this weekends when DSD visits and DS and I aren't there.

[MammaTJ]

Only do that once all is done, she may alert him to your plans.

[GuernseyTeddy]

I really doubt it (she's currently involved in contact court dispute with him and me and DS not living here any more would be very favorable for her case), but yes was only planning to let her know once I'd left.

This weekend is very busy for DSD (activity related), and think she'd really need her mum's support with this domestic upheaval.

[Handywoman]

I think you are thinking very clearly, GT. I think you will be fine. please stay one step ahead but you are doing great.

[Minime85]

yes I'd tell her afterwards too. good luck with this week

[Lweji]

Just to say good luck. :)

His threat about your DS seems typical emotional blackmail. I very much doubt he actually wants to have DS even 50%, except to make you stay close or not leave at all.

My ex always threatened the same, or taking DS, and he often doesn't contact DS, not even with a warning.

Make sure you contact a solicitor as soon as you leave, though.

[GuernseyTeddy]

Terrible morning.

Dad can't come this week. Child Benefit HMRC need to confirm separated status with STBX DS clinging and grizzly this morning. And just realised need to get DS ready,fed, dressed and out of house for 7:15 on Thursday (usual wake up time 7), as need to take DSD to school on the bus; He will be leaving early to get to the airport.

Feck.

I can do this right?