Galloping up on 10th Anniversary of Husband's Suicide

[PasswordProtected]

Wondering what to do?
He left me in a pile of rubbish, literally. I wondered about a nice meal out, or just ignoring the fact.
I am alone and single.

[TheGinLushMinion]

How sad, do you have a close friend to go out for a meal & drink lots of Gin with?

[PasswordProtected]

No, I don't have anyone. I don't mind going out on my own, though.
I did wonder if I could just have a massive bonfire on his grave, but that probably would not go down too well.

[JennySense]

My heart goes out to you. Suicide leaves so many conflicting emotions, have you had any professional support at all?

[my best friend, who I lived with committed suicide]

[BiscuitMillionaire]

What about you write a letter to him telling him how it affected you and how you felt and feel now. Then burn the letter ceremoniously. Then go out for a treat.

[RaspberryRuffle]

Can you do something physically exerting? A bike ride in a beauty spot, a walk on a beach, if I need to think the sound/sight of the sea gives me some sense of peace. A long walk where you can go through the probably conflicting emotions in your head, talk to yourself if it helps (if you're self conscious werar earphones and people will assume you're on the phone).
Can you access any counselling? Or speak to people in similar situations.
I know a few people whose husbands have committed suicide but I am not close enough to know what helped them (and it's obviously different for each person).

Also as you say you are alone and single, can this be a bit about a new beginning for you? Small steps to meet people. Not only people in your situation, though that might help. But also people who don't know your backstory, if you feel that it leads peopel to 'define' you (can't think of the right word). You can just be Password, not 'password whose husband killed himself'.

I found the parkrun helped me through a period of grief when I didn't really want to talk. I was surrounded by people, so not alone, I didn't make any effort to speak to them but got friendly smiles and 'you can do it' comments which helped me, they were referring to the run and I was taking the comments in a more general sense and trying to apply them to my situation.

[joblot]

What do you want to do? If you're in west yorks, I'll go for a drink with you. My best mate killed herself, not the same, but I get some of it

[Punkatheart]

I am in Berkshire - near Reading and I would certainly meet you to chat.

You must have such a lot of strange emotions. But you are here - live life. Onwards and upwards.

[Shellywelly1973]

My step dad hung himself 22 years ago. It destroyed my mother and family. We've never been the same.

The letter burning is a good idea!

I adored my step dad. It took me years to forgive him...

[RhondaJean]

I will meet you if you are in west of Scotland. My family has been touched heavily by suicide for generations. I think the best thing to do is have a drink of something and celebrate your survival.

[thecook]

I am in London. I second the suggestion of the parkrun. I run the Wormwood Scrubs park run. If you are near me please send me a PM and we can meet next Saturday xx

[PasswordProtected]

Thank you all for the kind replies. Sadly I am not in the UK.
I had massively good support the instant it hapoened, my sister flew out the next day, for which I am immensely grateful, even today, as she left 3 children, her dog & her cheating husband 2 weeks before Christmas.
The worst thing was my father at the grave, he broke down in tears on my shoulder. Luckily my mother "fielded him" but that, to me, was more shocking than the actual death because I could not cope with it.