People used to patronisingly tell me 'it will all be différent' when Im older, like lack of confidence is something you 'grow out of' like thumb-sucking etc
Erm, I occasionally still suck my thumb when I'm really, really tired and down (didn't realise, till someone else pointed it out!)
But anyway - I think people do grow out of lack of confidence to some extent. Or perhaps you realise that a lot more people also lack confidence - everyone does sometimes. But another thing as you get older is that you realise you've got through various situations, and the world hasn't ended, and that in itself helps. At least, that's how it's been for me. But nearly a decade ago, I was on anti-depressants and I still see a counsellor, so I know none of it's easy. There are still days where I just think I can't do anything, and I'm no good at the things I am doing, and sometimes soon, someone's going to notice I'm just blagging my way through everything. Lots of people think like this, though. It's normal.
I think there are many of us who focus on the things we can't do, and aren't comfortable with, rather than the things we can do, and we ignore the things we find easy, because if they're easy, they can't be that difficult or important. Actually, it might be that we find it easy because we are very good at those things.
One of the best pieces of advice I have been given is, "Don't compare your insides with other people's outsides." We don't know how people are really feeling inside most of the time, and a lot of people present a front that covers all their doubts and incertainties. Sometimes, people come over as really confident because they're putting so much effort into hiding how they really feel from the rest of the world.
As for not caring how people feel about me - I think some of that is down to lack of confidence in itself, because I assume most people just don't notice me. There are some people I care very much about what they think of me, but they're people I know, not random strangers in the street.
Things I do or have done on my own - swimming, going to a yoga class, going to dance classes (that can be a bit rubbish, and I don't do it any more, as I got tired of dancing with the teacher, but I wanted to know how to do it), going to the cinema, theatre, ballet, going to art galleries, going for walks, going to the beach. I've made myself go to parties on my own (not always a great experience, I admit), and I've done a lot of travelling on my own (including the joys of singles supplements and wondering what to do with my bags while I go to the loo.) I'm in my forties. I've been single most of my life - if I didn't do things on my own, I would have done almost nothing. It's hard, it's sometimes very depressing, there are nights when I cry, (but people don't know - I don't go into work and announce I cried myself to sleep because I was having a bad bout of loneliness - so how many others could be like that? You just don't know.) You just have to pick yourself up and carry on - and when you realise the strength you need to do that, that helps your confidence.
i dont havé thé expérience to réalistically get à différent type of job.
No one has experience to start with. It is something which has held me back at times, and it is something a lot of women struggle with. I don't remember the exact stats, but there's something along the lines of, if you've got a job spec, a man will apply if he matches at least 20% of the requirements, but a woman will only apply if she matches about 80%. Many of us do things we don't really think of as useful experience, and if you want to gain more skills, you might be able to do a course (online, evening classes, whatever,) or perhaps gain some experience with voluntary work or something. There are lots of careers books and websites to help you identify your strengths and values and so on, and how to write your CV in different styles to highlight the skills you have for the sort of work you want.
It's not easy, but it can be done, and there are people here to support you. It can happen one step at a time - and sometimes there will be a step back, but as long as the overall progress is forward, you will get there in the end.