Update on husband engaging in online grooming

[StillWaitingForMotherhood]

Hello everyone.

He has been arrested, he has been in a police cell since yesterday and the police have both his computers, his phone, camera, iPad, everything.

I am truly ashamed of myself and those of you who are furious with me and sickened by my original post are absolutely justified. Having read it back this morning I am genuinely appalled at myself.

I would just like to ask that you please try and understand that I was in utter, utter shock when I wrote it. You always imagine that you know how you would behave in a given situation, but when overnight your world changes and everything you thought you knew comes crashing down around your ears, I guess it makes you do and think strange things.

I would also like to clarify that when I referred to pubescent girls and their curves, I was attempting to articulate (very badly) that these were pictures that the girls were posting of themselves, not pictures that others had made them pose for. The way I phrased this was absolutely inappropriate and offensive and I am very, very sorry for this. All of the girls in the pictures, pubescent or pre-pubescent regardless, are CHILDREN, I would never look at it any other way and it is sickening.

I am not a troll, I am a real person who this time two days ago had a (as far as I was concerned) troubled but basically normal marriage with a troubled but basically normal man.

Anyway I have read every single one of your posts this morning and felt you deserved an update and some reassurance that this man is no longer free to talk to children.

Thank you.

[CanucksoontobeinLondon]

Well done, OP.

[Lweji]

I got all confused there, thinking there had been a new update and it was already over 100 posts up without me noticing.
Almost zombie? ;)

[struggling100]

Please, please don't feel that you have to apologise. You are dealing with far too much already, without being made to feel that your reactions were somehow inappropriate. You were clearly completely bewildered and shocked yesterday, and struggling to process a really, really horrible discovery. The action that you have taken is tremendously brave and selfless. You now need to put yourself first. Please, please don't feel ashamed. Surround yourself with helpful and positive people, and perhaps also to see a counsellor to start dealing with the impact this will have on you.

[HotDogSlaughter]

You are incredibly brave. You will go on and have a wonderful, fulfilling life , you will.

[themaltesefalcon]

You are amazing, OP.

[Jux]

Well done . You have done us all a great service at enormous personal expense. You are a brave and good woman.

You are going to need a lot of support now. You will find it here, and I hope you will find it in rl too.

[CakeExpectations]

I keep thinking of you StillWaiting. This week must have be horrendous for you. Hope you're ok.

[Nadalsballs]

Well done OP, you've hopefully made our children's world a little bit safer

[puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE]

Well done Still

As a mother to a young girl, I thank you for having reported this.

I'm sorry your life has been turned upside down, but just remember all the children you have helped protect and retain their innocence.

[Buzzardbird]

Thank you Op

[Hebemajeebe]

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have actually done amazingly well and been unbelievably brave. Many many women in your position would not have acted so swiftly or thought so clearly. I've seen it through my work and you only have to look at all the recent scandels to see how frequently people do fail to spot the seemingly obvious about a situation like this or make excuses for this kind of behaviour. And many of them are not so emotionally connected with the person who has committed these crimes as you are when the psychological pressures to try to find an innocent explanation is so much greater. People do naturally minimise things that are so horrific and counter to what they believe about their lives. It's a normal response. All you voiced on your last thread were those thoughts that were flying through a shocked mind - once you had a chance to process your thoughts a little you were able to see things clearly again and did exactly what you had to under the hardest circumstances.

[WeAreSeven]

Oh, love, I knew you were in shock when I read your posts. But you have acted very quickly and bravely and probably saved some young girls from an awful experience that would have coloured their whole lives. Well done!

[Shaky]

Well done OP, you have been very,very brave.

Vicar knows what she is talking about.

[ThatVikRinA22]

I would not allow him to use your address as a bail address either. it will be CID who investigate this - every inch of his phone, computers etc will be combed over.
i would say a charge is likely given the current climate involving sexual exploitation of children.
OP you need to protect yourself now - get as far removed from this individual as you possibly can. I feel desperately sad for you and how you found out - but the genie cant be put back in the bottle and you are married to a man who sexualises and talks to very young girls on line. he is a risk to children. I did a course in this as part of my job - the fact he has gotten over the inhibiters that would stop most people engaging in this behaviour is a very bad sign. Also the fact that he cannot have a normal sexual relationship with an adult woman - the writing is on the wall - he is likely to go on the sex offenders register. I see photos of these men every day i work.
protect yourself. distance yourself. harden yourself and get rid. He is a risk - a very real risk - to children.

[MrsFrederickWentworth]

Op,

Another mother to say well done.

Now you must cherish and protect yourself to remains strong while the system grinds on and you face the awful complexities and emotions.

Another person to say get some support in place. Some people may be v challenging and you will need good friends and relatives around.

[lucidlady]

I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this horrendous situation but you have dealt with it amazingly. Be kind to yourself, you've had a horrible shock.

[OctopusPete8]

Well done for acting so fast, must have been a horrendous trauma for you.
keep strong.

[MushroomSoup]

Thank you. I'm a teacher, and a mother of three daughters. Thank you for all of our children you've protected.

[Darkesteyes]

Youve been very brave and done the right thing You were in shock yesterday as anyone would be Well done

[Mixxy]

You very much did the right thing.

I know you're still in a tizzy but have you thought about steps to protect yourself and get a divorce going. I'm assuming DH will know it is you who shopped him.

Stay safe and well done.

[Loobylou123]

You've done a brave thing and the right thing. I read your original thread. It doesn't matter that you were unsure what to do initially. You were shocked and needed a moment to wrap your head around the situation. As you say, he was (so you thought) a normal husband up to that point. You did do the right thing and that is what matters now.
Hope you can move on and be happy

[MrsMinkBernardLundy]

OP please don't be hard on yourself. you have done a brave thing and thank goodness your worries lead you to check his social media.
And I am glad you were brave enough to post and then to take the advice you were given.
You have done a good thing.
The next few months will be tough so hold on to that. you have done a good thing. you have had a lucky escape.

[AKVS]

It was the right thing to do.
I know u r hurting but u will get through this.
Be kind to yourself and get plenty support.

xxxxxxxx

[trixymalixy]

You did the right thing. It must have been terribly hard for you.