I have NC'd. If you recognise me, please don't out me.
Been with DP three years and we have an 8 month old DS. We are supposed to be getting married next summer.
After we had been together for a year, it became apparent that he had lied. Huge lies. Lies that affected every part of our lives, it was a web. When I look back now, I don't know why I believed him. I feel like a mug.
Anyway, it all came out and his parents helped us get back on our feet. I was checking up on him a lot and in time I was able to trust him again, as he hadn't lied. Then our DS was born and things were good. He had been out of work for a while but started working again early this year. That's when things started to unravel.
He got paid ok the first few weeks, then there was a problem with the bank (!) Then his employer wasn't paying on time. Then the job ended (agency work so I understood that bit.) He then got a new job, but it turns out he didn't. Fuck knows where he was, but it wasn't at work.
We have been surviving on tax credits and child benefit.
Thing is, I can't trust a word he says. He is grumpy, which I always put down to not having a job. Its clear that he isn't happy with himself. He gaslights me, talks over me in arguements, he could have made me believe the sky was pink. I feel so fucking stupid. He is flipping between blaming it all on me and apologising and saying he knows he has a problem.
When confronted with the lies he gets angry but he has never hit me. If he was depressed, I could deal with that (he has supported me through PND after DS) or if he was just a compulsive liar we could get him into therapy. But I fear that it goes so much further than that. I think he is a sociopath (after a lot of reading) and the only advice for dealing with a sociopath is to get as far away from them as possible.
Not sure what I want from this thread. I just needed to get this down. Any thoughts or advice is welcomed. Though please be gentle. I post on relationships occasionally, I have been in 3 abusive relationships, when I got with him it really felt like I had broken the cycle. :(
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I think he is a sociopath
53 replies
nothinglefttogive333 · 23/08/2013 11:31
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.