When me and DH got together, after a while I suspected he liked wearing womens underwear as he kept trying mine on 'for a joke' in front of me. Anyway, he finally admitted that he likes it and at first I wasn't overly bothered, or maybe I thought I wasn't, I don't know now tbh.
After a while he started buying himself some and wearing on occasion at night. Then it was every night. I would frequently see him lean forwards with some lacy/silky/red or blatantly womens underwear on. It became a bit of a turn off tbh.
I do the washing and I noticed more and more womens underwear. He seems to be buying new stuff all the time, he now must have between 30-50 pairs, I haven't looked that closely but it is a lot, more than his normal underwear and far more than I have. He says he likes the feeling of the silk etc but there are thongs (which can't be a comfort thing as they are not comfortable) and lacey ones. I get more and more annoyed by it and I have hinted heavily as much, he knows it bugs me but he never mentions it and carries on buying them. When I say he has been buying more, he just denies it, even though as I do the washing, its obvious when more new ones crop up. The other day I was on his phone (with his consent) and when I went back a couple of pages too far, it came up with the Tesco website, where he had been looking at more womens underwear.
Anyway, just now I was putting something away in his wardrobe when I saw a bag scrunched up at the back and it was all tied up. I opened it and in there is 2 womens lacey body suits, one with a bra type top. They clearly aren't for me as the bra size is all wrong and they are far too big for my body. I don't know when he would ever wear this, I am always around. On the odd occasion I am out, then the kids are here. There is the odd time I go out of an evening but this is not frequent.
I don't like this. I didn't really like the underwear, it didn't matter quite so much when it was 1 or 2 pairs and he kept it hidden more, but then he didn't bother to hide it, bought more and more even though he knows I don't like it and now this. I don't think he wants to dress as a woman. I have asked him before and he said no and I do believe him.
I don't really know what to do now. 
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DH wearing more than just womens underwear, I don't like it. Don't know what to do now.
ItsATurnOff · 21/08/2013 16:10
I've found a brilliant local website so I am going to have a look on that and I am also going to tell DH that we need help and see what he says.
Part of the problem is I thought that we always have the kids and he works full time but it looks like they are open until 9pm so we can go after the kids are in bed.
Still after an help and advice on here though. I always find MNetters very helpful. 
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"Why should he stop being who is is just because she has now announced, 13yrs down the line after they've had kids that actually, she doesn't like it and wants him to stop or the marriage is over.
She should never have lied about it or led him along into thinking she was ok with it. She has lied all along. she knew about this fetish before they married, if she has such a huge problem with it then she has entered into the marriage with him under false pretenses"
I massively resent this!!!!! 
I have NOT suddenly announced 13 years down the line. He has been perfectly aware for some years that I thought it was getting far too much. I said as much to him but he done his usual of completely ignoring something that he didn't like or want to talk about. I can't make someone who just walks away, talk to me about it.
Before we got married, it was a couple of pairs, that he occasionally wore. It has got more and more over the years and I made it obvious to him that I didn't like it, however he just ignored it.
I did not LIE to him, I was ok with it occasionally, with the odd pair. Not to the extent it has got to and NOT with the other things I found in the wardrobe. This marriage was not entered to under false pretences. I am hugely offended by your insulting post.
"She has not lied, but communication has broken down. I can imagine that he played down the significance of his fetish to her at the start of their relationship and since, and that now with time it has become a much bigger deal to him. How exactly is that OP's fault???"
This. I do think he played it down, or it has just got worse over the years and maybe even he didn't know the extent.
I also do not believe he is a transvestite, he has never done anymore than the underwear and he says no when I asked him many years ago if it was more than underwear. I do believe him when he says this. Its quite obvious when he hesitates what he really thinks, but he doesn't hesitate when I ask him about dressing up further and I do believe him. I don't really like to label him as a transvestite because that's not what he is.
FastLoris I get what your saying but its not the same as a married couple having different hobbies or something like that, which is what you last line implies, of course we both have separate interests but that's not what this is. When he wears it to bed and expects sex whilst he's wearing it, its then very different to what you are saying.
Boozy yes it can be called hiding when they are tied up in a carrier in the back of his wardrobe. We have our own wardrobes and I don't usually go in his, hence him hiding it in there. I just happened to be putting something away in there when I saw it stuffed at the back.
NCed for this. OP I have been through almost exactly the same. My exDH told me before we got married, but played it down so much I never thought I'd even see him like it.
Once we were married, it went a bit mad and our sex life was similar to yours. He had no sex drive unless he was wearing women's underwear. He wore women's clothes at home and I hated it.
You haven't been "lying" to him for 13 years, you have found that as time goes by it disturbs you more and more.
Sadly, my ex is an ex for this reason ( among several others). It muddled our roles and muddled my gender in my head too. Was I the man or the woman now? Once the sex life went, I felt like his mother. I felt like it was the silky underwear turn on he wanted and not my body. It was a lonely time watching someone fulfil their every compulsion and feeling very detached and uninvolved.
I have every sympathy for you and the posters who are being nasty are being unfair on you. Until you have been in this position, it seems so easy to say what you would do IF this happened to you.
It is a compulsion and even if he promises to stop, it probably won't work.
Good luck. 
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