I have written a few threads on here as I struggle with this relationship I'm in, or was in. I find it hard to explain how I feel and the hold he has had over me. Slowly the fog is lifting but I still feel there is some hold there and I don't know why and don't understand myself
I've had a horrible experience today and really need to talk but am to ashamed to speak to anyone in RL. Had a lovely day out with'DP' and when we visited his sister she asked what his stbxw was doing today. I know I can be touchy about this sometimes but it annoys me that she is always brought up and I said so to DP on the way home. BIG mistake! All I really wanted was for him to say he understands its annoying for me and maybe that he finds it a bit irritating too. But oh no a huge row starts and as always his way of trying to shut me up and shut the argument/ discussion down is to say " finish with me then". So sick of hearing this I said fine.
We got back to mine, he packed his stuff, some nasty things were said. I have paid a non returnable deposit £400 for a holiday and he had given me his share which I hadn't banked yet and he demanded it back. I had to give it as he was looking through my drawers. He starts to drive off but keeps coming in and put with various excuses. Then he phoned his sister in front of me on loudspeaker and told her all that had happened making himself the innocent party of course. I still feel in shock with it all. I've never had a row with anyone like that and to involve a third party like that I don't know what he's trying to do. I know it's a totally dysfunctional relationship. I feel emotionally battered and bruised yet numb at the same time. He keeps trying to phone but I won't answer. I'm a mess. Don't really know what I want people to say I just had to get it out.
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Relationships
Massive row feel like I've been battered
Dearjackie · 03/08/2013 20:05
It's the sort of antics that are supposed to be thought endearing when the "hero" of a romantic comedy does them 
Creepy in the extreme. But what wonderful DCs you have.
Your dd has her head screwed on 
Deluded is right. Occupying his own little reality where he is the star; you were his acolyte, ever by his side, marvelling and grateful. He just wants to remind you of his marvellousness in case you've forgotten, by a show of mock-concern for your dd. Or he's showing off to his next victim how caring he is. His motivation is unimportant.
Tosspot!
been reading this post for over an hr lol
he sounds exactly like my spermdonor ex.
he too used the 'if you dont shut up, ill dump you' card. he dumped me a number of times, then came back with his tail between his legs. the first few times i fell for it, accepted fault and took him back. but gradually, from the humiliation, i stopped caring.
we split up 7 months ago when he texted me saying 'well i guess its over then bye' and instead of begging him, i said bye back. a week later he was sending me flowers
6 weeks later and back to his old tricks he tried doing it again. he chucked a variety of threats at me such as a report to social services and court, and again, the 'ill finish it for good' thing. he said 'so youre going to drive away from me then?' to which i replied 'yea i am actually, ta-ta'. and that was it til a few days later when he turned up at my house begging. 
told him it was over and the relationship was dead. he did call ss but they didnt fall for his lies and its backfired on him. it says alot about their cockiness when they are entitled enough to confidently dangle your relationship in front of your face like a carrot.
the first red flag was that he slagged off his ex-wife, mother of his dc. said she was a psycho, liar etc etc- you know the script. i went through a hideous abusive relationship before him so i knew the tricks. in both men, they said their exes were psychotic. did drugs. child abusers. were restricting contact for 'no reason'. it was like a goddamn stuck record.
and i concur on the contacting friends/family thing. what they are generally after is for you to question yourself, the old 'im telling on you' thing, to humiliate you, drag your name through the dirt. the first thing ex fw would do with a row is get out his crapberry and start tap-tap-tapping away, as if to say 'im gonna text (insert allie) and tell on you. im gonna ruin your reputation' .
and like lundy demonstrates, abusers will immediately seek allies when the shit hits the fan. get as many gullible idiots people on his side as possible to make an army against you. n use them to dig dirt on you, stalk you, upset you, shit stir etc. cos they know its the only control they have left.
stick to your guns. cos looking back and remembering how smug this twunt was, how overconfident, cocky and arrogant he was.... then remembering how you waved buh-bye to that, knocking him off his perch, is such a satisfying feeling
yeah it means im about to have another baby alone, and itll be tiring, but at least i can walk past that sack of shit in the street, hold my head high thinking 'i beat yo ass at your own games' 
.
you did nothing wrong in the first place. all you did, like me, is call his bluff 
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