Fuck Buddies can anyone tell me ?

[Honeysucklerose]

Been wondering and what is it that is required when someone has a Fuck Buddy ?, curious really not come across this before.

[mindyourownbusiness]

No this wouldn't be for me I'm afraid. Too much of an emotional sponge person to not get attached to a person I liked enough to regularly have sex with and was also a friend. I mean ffs I love my 'normal' friends to pieces and drive them mad when pissed by constantly telling them so and buying them soppy 'worlds greatest friend' fridge magnets and so on. That's obviously without any sexual relationship in the mix at all.
Yeah I'd be in titters after two or three of these 'casual' encounters , professing undying love and the chap would be three blocks away faster than Hussain Bolt.

[Wishihadabs]

Misbopeep I think you and I are very different . Most of these lads had seen me in a swimsuit or my underwear before. I spent a lot of time skinny dipping and night swimming in my late teens/early 20s.

Getting naked has never been an issue really.

[mindyourownbusiness]

Sorry yes niceupthedance very good point about monogamous relationships often being 'not all that' for some people. Also your post reminded me to add that however I don't judge other people who choose to have these kind of relationships at all. Just not for a soppy emotional lightweight like me .

[Missbopeep]

LOL at seen you in your underwear or swimmy cossie first!

Hundreds of men have seen me in the latter but they don't fuck me.

I don't have any issues with anyone seeing me naked, but that's not quite the same as having sex with them.

I didn't say anything about the requirement to be worshipped or adored nice. Just not being used as a sex object would be enough.

I do think- and I know this will ruffle some feathers- that at its extreme, a FB is just the same as a prostitute or escort, except you know them a bit anyway, and no money exchanges hands.

[valiumredhead]

You can like someone and have sex with them, and respect them but not want a relationship. I think some people assume that the people don't give a shit about each other and treat each other as objects.

[goodasitgets]

I think it definitely depends on each individual. We text in between meeting each other and we have mutual respect. He is always honest and open with me and vice versa. I wouldn't have sex with someone who didn't treat me well, he does (or acts like!) he cares for me

[niceupthedance]

What Valium said. My current FB and I want different things from life, therefore it's better to not get involved on an emotional level. I don't think this makes either of us prostitutes.

[Wishihadabs]

Hmmm I guess the heirechary went something like this
Seeing each other fully clothed
Getting changed in front of each other
Sleeping on each other's floors
Sleeping in bed together but not doing anything
Having a bit of a cuddle/grope certainly being aware of each other's body and arousal.
Non penetrative sex
Peneraterative sex
Less vanilla sex

You don't go from 1 to 8 without going through 2-7 in order maybe over 1 night maybe a few.

[MariaLuna]

On the other hand, if you have several fuckbuddies, it's not polite to discuss them with one another,

No, of course not. But you do have to be honest that you have other fuck buddies, from a sexual hygiene point of view. Condoms don't hold back everything, after all (Herpes/warts).

[Missbopeep]

Am I right to think that was very student lifestyle behaviour wish?

[Wishihadabs]

Yes met DH at 22.

[NachoAddict]

I have had a few but usually one party or the other ends up wanting more and getting hurt. I ended up married to one fb and when that ended 8 years later I sorted out another no strings relationship who I am currently living with 3 years on.

[Notfootball]

missbopeep do you not think that women can enjoy sex without love? Do you see the male FB as a prostitute or escort as well or just the woman?

[Dahlen]

The difference with an escort of prostitute is that s/he is only there because they want a cash payment and sex is the means to that end. For the FB sex is the end. I don't think they are comparable.

All that said, I do think that sex for men and women is very different, but mainly physically. Men can't get pregnant. Women are 3x more likely to catch STDs than men. Women are way more likely to suffer internal injury if things get a little rough (consensually or otherwise) and female-on-male sexual assault is less common than male-on-female sexual assault (including rape). Sex for women is a much riskier business. That can, of course, translate emotionally, meaning some women would prefer the (perceived) 'safer' context of a relationship, but it could also mean that women are better at detaching emotionally, because that's also a typical response to threat.

[JoylessFucker]

Hmmmm ... can I just check with you Missbopeep who do you see as paying who if an FB were to be a prostitute?

The problem with your thought process is that you appear to view the woman as some sort of prize to be gained via either the payment of love or money. With the vast majority of FB arrangements, made between grown-up, honest and respectful people, they both benefit from the arrangement. So seriously, who would be paying who?

[JoylessFucker]

TBH, Missbopeep, I'm not really sure why you felt it necessary to be so derogatory. I have FBs, I'm one of the grown-up, honest and respectful people who benefit from such an arrangement. I have friends who agree with me and those who do not. Oddly, I have never found it necessary to call them chicken, to suggest that they were uptight or frigid (or any other derogatory names), nor would I refer to anyone who made that choice in such a manner on a public forum.

Maybe you could take a look at why you felt it necessary to draw that parallel?

[Missbopeep]

Read more carefully- I said a prostitute or an escort- the former is usually a woman and the latter a man. That invalidates your argument about who is paying whom and all that stuff about women.

[Missbopeep]

For someone who is so happy with her lifestyle choice you sound pretty uptight and defensive, imo. And stop talking bollocks about a public forum. How long have you been on MN if you hadn't noticed the straight talking?

[valiumredhead]

Miss, for someone you had no experience of fwb you have an awful lot to say on the matter

[valiumredhead]

Who has

[Missbopeep]

Yep

[Golferman]

My wife and I have been together for 40 years (married for 38) we have an open marriage and are swingers too. As well as meeting other couples we both have a few FBs and it works for us, enhancing our already great sex life which is certainly more active between us then when we first got together. Just my penny worth of experience.

[Honeysucklerose]

well golferman that is alot of sharing you did there!

[ALittleStranger]

The likes of MisBoPeep et al depress me. You seem to have a view of female sexuality which isn't very sexual and is all about snaring a man. Women are allowed to be discerning and for me my time and commitment is more valuable than my body, and there are some men where just having them between your legs as you so snippily put it is quite enough.

I don't know why it's so hard to imagine that there could be someone you find attractive and have fun with but don't want to be in a relationship with. If I'm honest casual, non-monogomous relationships hold a lot of appeal for me right now, but they're so hard to negotiate because men always want more, so you end up falling into the "girlfriend" role to be polite.