I have a feeling this may be long and I've namechanged. DP grew up with an alcoholic father (who he hasn't seen for 15 years) and a mother with alcohol problems (regularly drinks until she can't speak, will request wine at strange times of the day and sulks if we don't have any). DP recognises that his DF is an alcoholic but is in complete denial that his DM drinks too much as she still holds down a job and doesn't drink every day.
DP doesn't drink that often but like his mum he can sometimes go way to far once he does drink and end up insensible.
Today we attended a family party, we took 4 mo DS. DP drank a lot, to the point where he was slurring his words and being annoyingly useless, i.e. couldn't pack the car, losing my car keys, asking me stupid questions 8000 times etc.
When we got home he heated a bottle for DS, I went to get it while he made himself and our 2 friends a drink. It was way too hot but he insisted he'd made it the right way and got affronted when I cooled it in a bowl of water. No big deal but his reaction to me cooling it was just a bit 
.
He then picked up DS and started throwing him about straight after his bottle and drunkenly stumbled over whilst holding him. He managed to hold him up so that DS didn't hit the floor but DP did land on his knees.
I shouted at him to give me the baby and he asked if I was trying to say he was a bad father. I took the baby and he sat down. He then made himself another alcoholic drink to show me he wasn't that drunk, was promptly sick and went to bed at 8pm.
I drove my friends home (took DS obviously), fed DS, made his bottles for the night feeds and washed up from tea all with this face on 
.
DP's still unconscious and it's no use trying to get any sense out of him now. Tomorrow I'm going to read the riot act; it's one thing to have a drink and a good time but he not only fell over holding our baby, he also fucked off leaving me to deal with the responsibility of sorting everything out.
I just needed to write it all down to get it out. I'm not going to LTB but I think we need a major talk and he needs to understand that this a massive deal for me. I had an alcoholic relative when younger and seeing him drunk and behaving irrationally when I was a child had a huge impact on me.
Am I right to be raging or am I overreacting? I am at the point of stomach churning, incandescent anger where you want to wake the person and have it out with them immediately just so that you can let it out.
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Am I overreacting?
HittingTheRoof · 28/04/2013 22:28
You're not overreacting. That's fucking awful.
Considering his family history, he needs to confront this. Now. He's denying his mother has a problem and he will probably be in denial about his own alcohol problem when you speak to him tomorrow.
Stick to your guns. Next time your DS might not be so lucky 
Hittingtheroof I hope your husband was ashamed of himself this morning. You don't really say how often he drinks to much. I think you need to discuss becoming teetotal. He obviously can't handle his drink. He sounds like someone who doesn't know when to stop and if this is the case he has to become teetotal. I hope you managed to get across to him that he nearly hurt his child. If this is an escalating problem and he cannot see it then you have to take a cold hard look at your future together. It is difficult enough raising children without having to protect them from their father. 
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