Very long story but after a lifetime of dealing with my sisters lies, bullshit, and utter crap I have decided to not contact her again, at this point in time I would honestly not care if I never saw her again.
It's on the background of her telling lies her whole life, from white lies to downright venomous and spiteful ones. So much I don't know what to believe any more. She is 40 but still doesn't take any responsibility at all for anything. Various things have happened recently which have made me think that I can no longer find the energy to deal with her, whenever I have tried to help her seek professional help (I think she has a personality disorder) she throws it back in my face or twists anything I say.
I don't have the strength or the desire to be stressed by her any longer. I told my dad and my brother this- my dad just said 'give it time' and my brother says life is too short to cut her out especially since she's family. I personally think life is too short to put up with her shit any more.
What have other people's experiences been who've tried to cease contact with a toxic relative?! Thanks.
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Has anyone disowned anyone from their family and if so how did others react to that?
ilikeyoursleeves · 14/03/2013 22:23
Here here Donna!
OP - how well I know that "everyone else's fault" default setting.
My sis never takes responsibility for how her life has turned out. Her list of people to blame is endless. And of course "it's alright for you ....."
Yes, it is alright for us because we've always worked hard, looked after our children and ensured that they attended school (basic!), lived within our means and the law and don't hang out with violent, thieving, scrounging thugs!
Rant over. 
Omg yes the 'its alright for you' argument!
She has said that to me 'it's alright for you cos you've got a decent job' when she was going on about having no money and no 'decent' job. She thinks working in a call centre or something is below her even though she could probably only cope with working in a factory tbh.
Hmmm yes it's alright for me isn't it cos my professional job just landed on my lap. No I didn't stick in at school, go to university twice to get a degree and Doctorate and study my arse off for 9 years.
My dh cut out his toxic adult d. We have encountered lots of crap from her dh, her db and dh's xw. They all know she said lots of vile lies about all of us, but they all think the sun shines out of her arse. I think she told them she had apologised to dh. The so called apology was "I've done nothing wrong dothraki's a bitch its all her fault." I don't know how this is apologising, she was also extreemly critical of her dm, and db's gf (she won't hug her - shes too fat, won't hug db he's too thin
). They all think she is a wonderful mum - can't figure that one out - she let ds when he was 4 play call of duty - and couldn't figure out why he went round hitting everyone. She never disciplines her dc - they're only babies - er no - the eldest is not a baby. Everything in her world is about her. One childwas recently hospitalised as she left it soo long before seeing the gp. She thinks calpol and cuddles solves every child health problem. I fear for her children growing up in such a toxic environment - but we can't do anything about it.
It is very painful for dh - he could not believe the nasty spiteful lies she told about him. He thought it would be resolved if she apologised. Now he has reflected on the last 5 years and he has seen she has been a nasty bitch all that time. I thought she was depressed, I thought her dh controlled her - but she went way to far - to the far side of fuckity fuck 
- we then saw that she was the manipulator, she clicks her fingers and the entire family come running. She clicked her fingers once to often. They all turned up, db my dh and her dm - (I was not invited as I am only on her radar for abuse). I told dh not to go that it was a trap. He went - the others were only invited so they could watch her try to humiliate him. It backfired on her spectacularly - he believed she was going to say she had split from her dh (she would never ever do that ffs when she caught him cheating her solution was to have another baby). She said why have you not been to visit - he said because your dh cheated. Her response was exactly what I had warned him it would be - deny, lie, and cry. Apart from abusive texts we have not heard from her since.
and breathe
It is sooo good when you no longer have to see them.
See - you're feeling better already 
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