A Poll.... about sex and female orgasms

[chocolatepuff]

hi there

after a discussion with dp last night it transpires that approx 80% of his past lovers could orgasm during sex.

i immediately felt this was rubbish and that the majority must've been faking it.

nonetheless its left me feeling inadequate and a freak, and like im not doing something right... can you share your thoughts/experiences please?

disclaimer: i do orgasm, the conditions have to be just so. and dp has not put any pressure on me about this. i brought it up with him, he doesnt see it as an issue or think there is something wrong with me. thats just my thinking.

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[EmmaThorn]

I very rarely orgasmed from PIV, and I always thought I was in some 1% bracket of women who have something wrong with them! But most women can't achieve orgasm from intercourse alone, but stimulation before/during helps and I find that being totally relaxed and in the "zone" helps me loads. When I have had an orgasm from PIV alone, its always been when I least expect it to happen!

[Morloth]

I am not too keen on clitoral orgasms TBH, they often trigger a blinding headache/nausea. I have heard an actual 'pop' in my head once during one with a vile instantaneous migraine.

Much rather the deeper but less intense vaginal version.

I also don't like to have sex standing up, I get all dizzy.

[Darkesteyes]

Thankyou badinage

[badinage]

Hey no worries

Yay to the Suffragette Centenary!!

Have a look out for those schemes I mentioned. Some of them here are registered charities, so independent of this awful government. They've made a real difference to some people I've worked with; life-changing stuff. I've kept in touch with a few and the first jobs they had were stepping-stones to better and more well-paid jobs. One of the hidden pluses though was the cameraderie that grew amongst the jobseekers and the sense of purpose it gave them coming into 'work' each day. I'd really recommend looking to see if there's anything like that in your area or in a place you'd be willing to work.

[MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill]

As mentioned previously, I'm pretty sure I have identified six or seven different types of orgasms that I undergo. I'm sure it varies a lot between women as well.

[Darkesteyes]

I did my workfare as part of New Deal from 1999 to 2001 On New Deal it was 13 weeks workfare

[Darkesteyes]

Im so sorry i got a bit stroppy badinage I didnt mean to drip feed or anything. with my workfare experiences i did stints at a charity shop and local council, Then they were going to make me work at a soup factory for 3 months for my JSA. I had applied for loads of jobs including the chatline and then the chatline offered me a job. As they were the only ones offering me paid work i took it.
On a brighter note i am hoping to go to the Suffragette Centenary in June. One thing i probably do need to do is widen my social circle.
Sorry for being a stroppy cow

[badinage]

Heavens I didn't mean Workfare, Darkest!! Spawn of the devil, that and please don't tell me that you were forced to work in the sex industry to get benefits? But workfare wasn't around in 2006 was it?

I meant proper funded Return to Work schemes where they train you in CV writing, interview techniques and learning new skills - and attendance is not linked to the benefits system. I've worked for quite a few of these in the South East and helped people into jobs which is why I was wondering whether you were flexible about location.

No need to reply, it's just I've seen your posts around and about and you seem very angry and defeated. I was just wondering what your story was and whether you wanted to make the break and change. Good luck.

[Dottiespots]

Personally a vaginal G spot or A spot (or both) orgasm is different to clitoral. It is very powerful . Hard to describe though. Amazing.! Wow.! Not helping much though with description am I. Certainly just as intense as clitoral but in a total body way. Definately and OMG moment.

[Hairylurker]

Just read Ilikebirds. An ex of mine told me she had her first orgasm through penetration by anal sex. Mind you she was living in the Caribbean at the time.

[Hairylurker]

I agree with Plentyofpubegardens, about just under a third of my exes came through penetration alone ie without clitoral stimulation. Like Branleuse I thought originally this was to do with an anatomical connection that allowed the clitoris to be stimulated by proxy, as it were, but one of my partners was very clear that this was a vaginal orgasm, had nothing to do with the clitoris, but was particular to certain positions and certain shapes of penis. When I've tried to discuss this with other women, those who did not experience vaginal orgasm found it very hard to believe that it existed. I wonder whether, given that, as is described in the thread about why men are so entitled in bed , there appear to be a lot of poor male lovers around, it requires less finesse to please a woman who comes vaginally, and perhaps those relationships last longer on average?

[Darkesteyes]

badinage the lack of financial independence doesnt just apply to parents. its not great for carers either.

[Darkesteyes]

im done discussing this now and am starting to feel like im having to justify myself.

[Darkesteyes]

I had to stop work in 2006 when Dh had his heart attack which left him with decreased lung function and a mild brain injury with memory loss. I have to repeat myself a lot. I never trained for a career. Never had the support to do that as a teenager so it just didnt happen. Wasnt even allowed to go to early evening discos because my DM didnt like me out of the house so uni was never going to happen. ive worked in shops nursing homes and a sex chatline office.
return to work schemes involving things like workfare Been there done that FOUR FUCKING TIMES and its what got me into sex chatline work.

[badinage]

Yes I was referring to financial independence for women who couldn't work because of childcare though. Do you mean you're currently unemployed then? If so, how long for?

I'm sure you must have done, but have you looked into all your options such as return to work schemes/job clubs, spoken to all involved in social housing and are you flexible about where you could live and work, especially as you've got no children and no ties to schools etc? What career did you train for and is there any way back into it? Could you study with a view to retraining?

Or are you just assuming it's as bleak and as impossible as it sounds?

Do you actually want to leave your marriage and work and have some financial independence, or am I assuming that's what you want?

[Darkesteyes]

badinage you spoke on another thread about women who have no financial independence. i am one of those women.
a. couldnt go to my parents because they wouldnt support my decision.
b. womens services are being cut to the bone (cant see them helping to rehouse a woman with no children just because her h doesnt sleep with her.) most of the jobs here are minimum wage which would go nowhere near to a months deposit on a rented flat and with the shortage on one bed places id get hit with bedroom tax straight away but i dont think it would get that far. because a single person with no kids isnt priotity and i would be voluntarily making myself homeless All very well for people to cry LTB but its just not economically possible and by reading these boards i know im not the only one.

[PlentyOfPubeGardens]

Oh I used to fake it all the time in the bad old days when I was young. I knew better than to do all the screaming and bucking and back scratching. What you do is go a bit stiff and quiet and hold your breath then do your pelvic floors really fast. It was always to bring dull sex to an end rather than to stroke some bloke's ego though. I'm not proud, before anyone has a pop.

I haven't needed to do that for about 14 years now

I squirt occasionally. I can't feel it myself and there doesn't seem to be anything unusual about those orgasms. The only way I know it's happening is when DP starts spluttering and choking.

[ILikeBirds]

ElizabethX - I believe anal sex can indirectly stimulate the g-spot in (some?) women.

[Kione]

here is to hope!!!

[chocolatepuff]

ha i am not a man.. i am a woman in her late 20s who has only realised from reading this thread that i have been having mostly bad sex for the duration of my 12 year sex life! (bad as in, it was always about male pleasure, i assumed i couldnt come from piv so have never tried) i feel completely sexually awakened and excited abou the prospect of g spot orgasms from piv sex! i read on a website (cant remember which) that all women are capable of g spot orgasms, it can just tke some of us some more time to get there. hope for us all !

[Kione]

thanks fluffy I just saw the post

[Kione]

I can have a full blown one with clit stimulation and then smaller ones, usually with a vibrator this is easier.
The piv one I might had... ages ago... it felt like so so nice but never quite having climax. And ONLY when I am mega turned on by pertner, usually on honeymoon period

[fluffyraggies]

Kione i tried to describe the difference yesterday and found it very difficult

The word explosion is a good one for clitoral orgasm. Like i said i find the full on orgasm is something too all encompassing to go through more than once in the space of an hour or so. They're mind blowing. The mini ones - one after another, yes.

I too am tending to think i may have 'mini O's' through PIV.

[fluffyraggies]

I wondered about the rights and wrongs of a bloke starting a thread like this here just in order to get off on reading about g.spots and grinding. My conclusion was that even if 100 guys read it, 99 of them just perved and only 1 actually learned something and used it constructively at some point in the future - then it would make it ok Are you listening guys?

Noise - yeah i can be noisy If we're alone in the house or in a hotel room then i will indeed let go and raise the roof. When the kids are in the next room i bite my lip. Same goes for DH really. I Love it when he gets noisy! Really turns me on.

Faking it. I confess i have done it. No good excuse. The only thing i can say in my defense is that when i've faked it, it was to bring things to a conclusion as i was too drunk, sore or tired to go on

Anal - we do it occasionally. I've never come through anal. Sometimes it's better than others - depends on how many drinks i've had my mindset i think. Sometimes i really enjoy it, and get extremely aroused, other times i find i have to call a halt as i can't relax into it.

[Kione]

right, I thought I had never orgasmed through PIV but reading some of the descriptions I might have! its just that feeling that maybe you expect the same "explotion" as with clit stimulation. So... can someone kindly describe or compare both of them? it might even put me in the mood fir once!