I don't really know where to start,
My dd is 3 months old exactly and a,though we've had a rough time of it at first with severe reflux, and now on medication and prescription milk that's working, sleeping 11 hours straight at night.
I'm supposed to be getting married on 6th April, and it feel as if my relationship is falling apart. Dd is now teething which means she's obviously a bit wingey, which I'm not phased by. I settle her fine,and by 6pm she's fed and ready to go down for the night.
I'm a bit concerned about my fiancée though. He seems very aggressive and tense, and ready to fly off the handle. If dd cries, he won't cuddle her, he just swaddled her and puts her down. If she continues crying he gives her calpol, which angers me because a crying baby doesn't need calpol, and ive tipped it all down the sink now.
Also, when dd continues crying, he gets cross and doesn't shout, but talks to her in a loud voice that really doesn't settle her, it makes her worse. He tells her to shut up, which annoys me, and then just plonks her down (in a safe place) because he cant cope with the crying, and then i get an earfull. He's very happy to chat away to dd when she's in a babbling and smiling mood, but that seems to end there, and when she's crying he gets cross, and then we end up rowing.
We row every night now, it's like a ticking time bomb when he gets in from work. To make matters worse, I have severe OCD, which he doesn't understand that I have to do these certain rituals or I just can't relax. I've had OCD for 9 years now, and I'd love to open up and talk about the reasons why, but he's only interested in talking about himself....all my needs are ignored, mocked, or I get sarcastic replies to anything I say. I'm constantly made to feel stupid, called a dick, and treated like a slave.....it always feels as if good old me will do it.
I the night if dd cries, he rolls over and says for fucks sake, and then goes back to sleep, assuming ill always get up.
Infindingnit really hard to cope- my OCD has never been so bad- the only happy thing about my life is little dd who's developing more ach day. What would you do? I really can't cope. Xx
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Life is falling apart, what do I do????
mummy2lola · 21/02/2013 15:15
Deserve what???
A life of misery?
for you
Please cancel the wedding and get counselling for yourself instead.
I know. Part of my OCD is based on not only the cleanliness and need to perfectionism, but also the fact that I always feel a horrible worthless person that deserves to be punished. I am looking to seek counselling, as its been 9 years now and it's so bad right now, It's affecting every aspect of my ire, apart from my care of my gorgeous daughter- I'd never let it affect that, she's too damned precious- my little gem, bless her- any ideas on the best type of help for OCD? I thought hypnosis, or just normal counselling? I trying my best, and I cook, clean, wash, iron, put out his work clothes, but food, and buy all of our daughters clothes, nappies, wipes etc too on no income, which isn't easy, and somehow I achieve it, but it's a constant worry- no matter what she will never go without, and always wear pretty clothes, even if I have to go without clothes and/or food. I not a horrible person, so I wonder why I'm treated like one. 
Mummy, have you spoken to your GP or HV about your worries? Childbirth can lead to a pre-existing OCD escalating in intensity. Sure it's been known to bring them on.
Please don't suffer alone with your child. Talk to someone in RL.
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