Am I being abused?
Verbal Abuse A wonderfully non-hysterical summary. If you're unsure, read the whole page and see if you're on it.
Emotional abuse from the same site as above
Emotional abuse a more heartfelt description
a check list Use this site for some concise diagnostic lists and support
Signs of Abuse & Control Useful check list
why financial abuse is domestic violenceAre you a free ride for a cocklodger, or supposed to act grateful for every penny you get for running the home?
Women's Aid: "What is Domestic Violence?" This is also, broadly, the Police definition.
20 signs you're with a controlling and/or abusive partner Exactly what it says on the tin
Books :
"Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft - The eye-opener. Read this if you read nothing else.
"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans ? He wants power OVER you and gets angry when you prove not to be the dream woman who lives only in his head.
"The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?" by Patricia Evans - Answer: Perhaps - ONLY IF he recognises HIS issues, and if you can be arsed to work through it. She gives explicit guidelines.
"Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward. The author is a psychotherapist who realised her own marriage was abusive, so she's invested in helping you understand yourself just as much as helping you understand your abusive partner.
"The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing" by Beverley Engels - The principle is sound, if your partner isn't basically an arse, or disordered.
"Codependent No More : How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie - If you a rescuer, you're a co-dependent. It's a form of addiction! This book will help you.
But whatever you do, don't blame yourself for being Co-dependent!
Websites :
So, you're in love with a narcissist - Snarky, witty, angry, but also highly intelligent: very good for catharsis
Dr Irene's verbal abuse site - motherly advice to readers' write-ins from a caring psychotherapist; can be a pain to navigate but very validating stuff
Out of the fog - and now for the science bit! Clinical, dispassionate, and very informative website on the various forms of personality disorders and how they impact on family and intimate relationships.
Get your angries out ? You may not realise it yet, but you ARE angry. Find out in what unhealthy ways your anger is expressing itself. It has probably led you to staying in an unhealthy relationship.
Melanie Tonia Evans is a woman who turned her recovery from abuse into a business. A little bit "woo" and product placement-tastic, but does contain a lot of useful articles.
Love fraud - another site by one woman burned by an abusive marriage
You are not crazy - one woman's experience. She actually has recordings of her and her abusive partner having an argument, so you can hear what verbal abuse sounds like. A pain to navigate, but well worth it.
Baggage reclaim - Part advice column, part blog on the many forms of shitty relationships.
heart to heart a wealth of information and personal experiences drawn together in one place
what couples therapy does for abusers
If you find that he really wants to change
should I stay or should I go bonus materials this is a site containing the material for men who want to change?please don?t give him the link?print out the content for him to work through.
The Bill of Rights
bill of rights here is what you should expect as a starting point for your treatment in a relationship, as you will of course be treating others!!
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Relationships
Support for those in Emotionally Abusive relationships: 17
foolonthehill · 17/02/2013 13:51
Do you know, I have often wished that fw would suddenly discover he's gay - a) gets him out of my hair and b) he'd be so bloody gutted, the homophobic twat 
He sounds remarkable similar to my FW. I didn't have that level of PA, but the insults ring true. Nobody has ever made me feel as miserable as he did in my whole life.
breath 
and yet he will still probably be surprised that you could possibly want to divorce him.
charlotte weird to think that they used to advertise vibrators in the papers. As a medical device.
wonder if it came with a prescription - 3 times a day before meals
Me too, me too Fly. Saw my WA woman yesterday and told her I may well tell FW this weekend that I want to separate.
Love those CBeebies pin-ups! Have a bit of a thing for Dr Ranj myself...
And the female hysteria cure! I've definitely learnt something new today!
Mink loving the distribution of meal- tis only right and fair
Does anyone know what it means, having the cafcass letter lodged at court? We have cafcass hearing at court on tues to which only I'm going as fw refuses to engage with whole process.
Pony as you say good in a way that cat's out if bag- it's all there in b&w, inc my desire to separate three years ago! So it softens the next step for me suppose- ie serving D papers. But I feel so weirded out 
Wish I could come to commune instead of facing fw [scared emiticon]
Mink Think it is very noble and generous of you to let the kids have any of it - after all - it is mother's day 
Breathe But good in a way that this stuff is coming out - he is all the things he says you are.
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