Domestic voilence

[Wankarella]

I'm out of my situation now, I have moved house, now my ex is losing control. I have police on standby but I've had some news about 15 minutes ago.

I'm scared can anyone just tell me to stop this panicking please.

My doors are locked I cannot walk my dog so my Dad is coming up to do that, I have hid my car, even though I am unsure if x knows where I stay.

Has anyone ever been through this and came out the other side sane and with a happy ending?

TIA

[seaofyou]

Ps if that is your ex sending you email he can track you down to an area by your IP address so do not rely to ex and delete this email tomorrow...change mobile too. Tell your parents to change there mobile number as he may be able to track them too!

You need to become lost and to do that Hun you need to lose contact with GP on ex side too as he can just follow you.

Stay safe x

[seaofyou]

Hiya Hun,

Just try and breathe please you are having panic attacks common with PTSD.

Stay cool with gp's they have your babies their and you wanna get them home ASAP tomorrow.

Does ex know they are with gp's? Does GP know you made a report about new baby....don't tell them! Honestly no one is more deluded/hidden from the the true things happening is the GPs.

What about the email made you go completely into fear mode...was it off ex?
Also does ex know where you or you parents live? Get some support for your parents too ie marker on house, attack/panic alarms.
If ex knows where your parents live you should not really have your parents coming over cause ex will follow them...so they need to be vigilant to know ex not following them in any car!

Also I would advise you not to take your sleeping pills tonight...not until your babies are back home safe and yes you must not let them go their as ex may turn up and revenge is lays their key motivator...sorry to be blunt but I think I understand where you are coming from.

[Wankarella]

thanks again, I feel my pills working and oh dear my in-laws are phoning me.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

This is the best place to be when you are stressing.

The collective power of mumsnet calms you down.

Take care of yourself. x

[waltermittymissus]

Of course you should come here. That's exactly what this place is for!

I'm so glad you're feeling better. :)

[Wankarella]

thank you again, I maybe shouldn't have even came here, I just panicked.

Thank you lots though, I feel quite sane again. Sometimes its good to type/talk and have other people point out your 'silly-ness' I'm good at helping others, its much easier. Thank you again.

[waltermittymissus]

You're allowed to lose it every now and then. This is as good a place as any for that!

You're doing great. Enjoy your sleep. Take care.

[Wankarella]

police know full situation,they know where boys are etc. Boys not back when due tomorrow I call 999.

Police told me to report everything, I am. I'm sick of living in fear if I am honest my eldest is a nervous wreck, they have safety plans in place, this is all very unfair to them.

I usually put a very good front on - I just kinda lost it!

[Wankarella]

Sorry

My mum also tried to stop me, it just came out.

I'm going to switch off now.

Thank you again x

[Wankarella]

baby is in care of SW, baby born july, not left hospital, final decision made in 21 days.

spoke to outlaws, they say, 'oh our son would never phone your parents, he doesn't even know you have moved' bullshit! My son seen him the day we moved, he ran away, he was helping carry a bed.

Inlaws have just had a mouthful from me. I have told them, no more sleepovers and went into car insurance etc..... I have been nice for way too long as they deny what their child has done, ironically, they will not let hm even sleep over and never did even when we were married, says a lot.

So nice soon to be ex daughter in law just grew some balls. I don't care if I am honest, they fill my boys heads with crap.

Dog had walkies, I need to switch off so I'm off to take my switch off pills and have a 3 hour sleep!! Before the nightmares kick in.

Thank you everyone and sorry I am fine and will be fine. No one will ever make me feel this fear again.

I also have my 999. (wimp)

[waltermittymissus]

Maybe hold off on getting into any arguments/discussions with them until you have the boys back.

I think it's a good idea to stop overnights if you can't trust them to keep your boys safe.

Try to relax for tonight. There's nothing you can do until tomorrow.

[Wankarella]

Oh dear I'm better. I may just go to my sons bed and watch TV. I find comfort in their beds

I am never ever letting them sleep over at gps again, its a 2 monthly thing, boys don't really like it i do it to keep them happy, I have just called them again and 'they won't lie if the dad phones'

I am not cutting them off completely, they can take them for lunch, no more sleepovers.

So these people will not lie, but (religious) but I have 3 points on my driving license due to THEM, i have just texted them and told them this.

[waltermittymissus]

I'm glad your dad is with you.

His parents don't know where you live do they? Would they tell him?

[izzyizin]

If you've haven't got a blind/curtains in the kitchen or any other room that is clearly visible from outside, pin or tape a sheet or light blanket to the window or obscure it with Windowlene or similar.

[izzyizin]

What arrangements are in hand for your dcs return from their dgps?

[izzyizin]

Who was the email from? What did it say?

When you say you have the police 'on standby' have you spoken to them and have they visited your home to carry out out any assessment of your current security measures?

It seems to me that the police may be persuaded to be proactive and take steps to warn your ex not to attempt to locate or otherwise harass you and to desist from making hang-up calls to your dps if, indeed, this is what he has been doing.

In any event, try not to stress too much as forewarned is forearmed and the element of surprise can't take you unawares.

Go about your business in the usual manner but keep your mobile to hand at all times with 999 preset and ready dial.

[Wankarella]

Not a threatening email or i would 999 by now. I have knowledge that I shouldn't have on him and his circumstances, I met someone at WA, who lives 2 door away from them.

I have 4 A4 sheets of this diary I have to keep. How much longer does it have to be to get some bloody action?

Police are useless, as nothing is in place, he can drive where he wants..... he has to follow me or run me over THEN phone police. Domestic violence police are better.

I'm going to call my support worker, oh maybe not..... Friday night.

Oh ok my dad is here, sorry!!

[Wankarella]

Boys are with HIS parents. I have just phoned but sadly my only connection here (internet) is via my mobile...and a wifi BT hotspot, anyway, they didn't answer, I have texted them asking them to call me ASAP. Could be bathing boys.

So if I dissapear (to unplug mobile again and get no connection - this happens on wifi hotspots) I'm fine, all doors locked, I have 999 on standby. all fine.......my Dad is as hard as nail also.

I can read him like a book. That's what worries me.

[waltermittymissus]

I just got an email and should not even know what I do about him

Is this email what's made you panic? If it's about any sort of threat tell the police!

[Wankarella]

Yes, I'm okay tantrums, blasted email just panicked me a bit. I've turned my light back on (eejit), not the kitchen though, I don't even have blinds yet.

[waltermittymissus]

Ok, so what's actually happened here is that you've done a BRILLIANT thing for very vulnerable children and a BRILLIAN thing for your ds!

You have been through shitter times than this, being married to a dangerous addict. Just think of all the good you've accomplished and be proud of yourself!

If you've done the programme you know there are difficulties beyond leaving but you should also know that you can overcome them.

You have done what so many sadly can't. That says a lot about you and what you can cope with.

Where is your child? Well done on coming this far!

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Better to be prepared though. At least now the police are aware.

[Wankarella]

I have texted my mum and told her to 'lose the pride and worry about the neighbours and phone blasted police'!!

I'm sorry I am over-reacting I think, I just got an email and should not even know what I do about him, sometimes ignorance is bliss.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Your out of it now, that's the important thing. You put your children first.

It will be ok.

[Wankarella]

I'm sorry, I just have no landline and no children to distract me into playing moshie monsters or something.

Finished my programme through WA I know everything know. I feel like a prat for having children with THAT!