what have I done?!

[OfficeNat80]

I work as an office manager in London-married, no kids. I am confident and outgoing and have a great relationship. For whatever reason a guy started talking to me on the train the other week. Wasn't about anything in particular. Told me he was a recruitment consultant and since work has been miserable of late, I gave him my card.

Anyway, he dropped me a line and suggested meeting up. Met in a pub and it was obvious he was really coming onto me. He was a bit cocky but his confidence was so attractive to be honest. I went a bit far with him but can't stop thinking about him. Feels guilty but so exciting... damn! He has sent me a few texts this weekend so know what is on his mind..

Never done anything before with anyone and know I should not but the temptation is there. Help!

[gimmecakeandcandy]

Pull the other one... You really think your dh would be ok seeing you fucked by someone else?

Would YOU mind watching him fuck a busty young babe?! Bet you would mind - a lot.

[Aspiemum2]

"Especially if he's well hung"?? Is your husband gay?
Call me a prude but I find the idea of a threesome, particularly when you're married, a bit cheap. Each to their own but I respect my husband too much to even consider having sex with someone else let alone whilst he's watching.

[moonshine]

Are you testing the plot for the next 'Fifty Shades of Grey' shit phenomenon?

[panicnotanymore]

Oh it's Friday isn't it...... I forgot

[panicnotanymore]

Why are you even posting on here - you don't want to listen to anything anyone is saying. You just want to sit and dream about some bloke, who has all the lines, and wants a shag. You carry on and if your marriage implodes hey ho, thems the breaks.

Your relationship is not great btw. If I was your husband and I was reading this I can guarantee 'great relationship' would not be what I was thinking. He may be great to you.... you are being something else entirely to him.

Just stop mooning for one minute and think about your H texting and fantasising about some lovely young thing in the office. Did you enjoy that image?

[OfficeNat80]

Odd turn of events but I subtly brought things up with hubby and he thinks the idea of seeing me with another man would turn him on-especially someone well hung!

Slightly nervous but excited at the prospect...

[Aspiemum2]

OP, sext your dh. I still enjoy the thrill of the dirty & flirty with dh. It spices things up brilliantly. Initiate some new things in the bedroom, if things have gone stale then it's time to shake it up a bit.
You are being naive if you think couples always have fireworks. A marriage is hard work sometimes, if you're not prepared for that then marriage is not for you. Try serial monogamy instead.

[blueshoes]

nor backpedalling then ...

[AnyFucker]

"I will no doubt do nothing about it though..."

Hmm, not quite convincing me she is "back from the brink"

[blueshoes]

... or looking at it in another way, steps back from the brink.

Which is a Good Thing.

[AnyFucker]

I can't see anything on this thread for the massive cloud of dust as OP backpedals like kerr-rayzee

[katykuns]

I also agree with Mark mostly. Even if you the OP just going for some recruitment thing, it was clear the OP was very attracted to him, and Op has admitted she would like sex with him and admitted to sex being a bit boring with her DH.

This -sleezeball- will have picked up on your interest, the fact you gave contact details, the going out for drinks. He will be challenging you to get in bed with him. This still makes him an asshole, but you haven't exactly discouraged it. Most people wouldn't have allowed it to become anything from the outset if they were happy in their relationship.

I have been in a similar situation before, and stupidly didn't discourage it either. I understand the temptation... but it really isn't worth it. I also fully accept that it wouldn't have happened (only some light flirting by text) if I hadn't encouraged it and really beat myself up for being a moron, as it damaged my relationship with DP.

[InTheNightGarden]

agree with marc !!

[InTheNightGarden]

what have I done? ... been a complete idiot....!!!!!

[OfficeNat80]

Ok, maybe some clarity needed. The meet was about recruitment and nothing before that suggested otherwise. I have consultants to take jobs in a pub after work before and see it as normal. We even had soft drinks until he suggested a glass of wine.

When I said went a bit far, it was that I didn't move when he momentarily brushed his fingers along my leg. I froze but yes, I guess I liked the attention. This was just for a moment though.

No sexting but he has sent suggestive texts e.g. that I looked great etc.

I was not expecting the attention but embarrassingly I did enjoy it. Yes, perhaps I have been a but silly, I do agree.

As for what is missing in my otherwise great relationship...in some ways I would love to experience what my friend does and this guy looks similar to him. Big, strong, dark skinned- the thought of being err totally physically satisfied by such a guy has an appeal. I will no doubt do nothing about it though..

[garlicnutty]

I keep thinking I'm on the wrong thread The posts above read as if she's already shagged him in the car park!

OP has engaged in verbal flirting. This flirting is more explicit than is appropriate for a married person. That is all. I don't know any married people who've never flirted inappropriately, though I concede they must exist.

I'm interested in some of her remarks re her marriage and her self-perception. Not very interested in the flirting, tbh. She's been a bit silly and this is what I'd like to explore.

[Mark2345]

@ tiredofwaitingforitalltochange

Well Thank You for making us aware of what you read in Cosmo this week, but I'm suggesting it's far more likely that he wanted to have sex with her because he found her attractive and she responded positively when he flirted with her.

Just a question. If your husband gave his contact info to a very attractive woman he met on a train (more attractive than you). Went out for drinks with this woman behind your back, "went a bit far with her" and then sent her naughty text messages for a few days, what would that say to you?

If you had that information, Would you be justified in saying he wanted to have sex with her? I think it's reasonable to say yes.

I think it's fair point to make, which most partners would agree with if it had happened to them, a man or a woman. Also I think it's a point that stands to reason on its own.

I'm going to ingore your comments (essentially, accusing me of being some kind of rape sympathiser) because I think you simply can't deal with the logic of the arguement I presented above.

[likeatonneofbricks]

not telling directly, no, but all of this (especially as a married woman) is at least confusing to him, as it can well mean she wants to go further. Tbf, most people would see this as encouragement, especially texting after the drinks, responding to his sexy texts.

[tiredofwaitingforitalltochange]

well in this case OP does want to have sex with him

Well, it is true that she is fantasising about having sex with him, you are right there. But that's not quite the same as 'essentially TELLING HIM that she wants to have sex with him, is it??

Thinking about having sex with someone isn't telling them you want to have sex with them.

Going for a drink with them isn't telling them that you want to have sex with them.

And doing both together isn't telling someone you want to have sex with them either!

[Mark2345]

@ garlicnutty

I didn't say any infidelity took place. I'm saying that whole thing is the OP's fault and everything she did was wrong and stupid. I'm saying she knew exactly what she was doing and where it was likely to lead.

[likeatonneofbricks]

well in this case OP does want to have sex with him (at least hse says she's fantasising about a great shag). But in some cases, going for drinks with an attarctive guy is not equal wanting sex, no. Some women just need flattery as an ego boost but have no intention on going further.