God this is embarrassing, but I can't really talk it through with anyone in rl so you lot will have to put up with me for now!
Basically I'm happily married and DH and I have regular (good) sex.
I even manage to orgasm durin penetration. I used to only manage the big O through for play so it's fair to say that my DH is good in the sack.
The thing is, I have a kinky fantasy that I always think about in order to orgasm.
I've tried not to and just concentrate on my (gorgeous) DH but I just can't 'get there' without it.
I feel too embarrassed to tell DH how much I think about it (I have let on a bit but always back-track and make a joke).
I feel like I'm wrong to be thinking about my fantasy whils being intimate with DH and worried he will think I'm a weirdo if I confess about it.
I would really like to try out my fantasy and I do feel a bit unfulfilled sexually.
Anyone had any experience or advise?
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Kinky sex embarrassment. Help!
Embarrassednamechangereg · 26/09/2012 13:05
Sorry goingbacktowork,
Yes it is.
I'm not really into the rape scenario thing.
I tried it a couple of times and got upset, even though we had a 'stop' word and he (my ex) did stop eventually (didn't hear me say it the 1st time! 
).
Eventually tried it again with DH but neither of us got into it and ended up having love making type sex in the end 
Forceful -great.
But anything more than that, I think you do have to be really careful and not do it with a total wanker helps!
Fab news really glad you bit the bullet
You have to update and tell us how it went mind you as we all care are pervs 
Update
I told him!
I did wait untill we had done the sexing and I was asking him what his favorite things were and chatted about them for a bit.
He then asked me about mine and I just told him about my fantasy 
but that if he wasn't up for giving it a go then I wouldn't mind ect.
He wants to give it a go and said it turned him on - mostly because he likes to see me having a good time.
We didn't try it out last night as we were already done in.
So far, so good 
Right.
I'm going in.
Will update tomorrow
I have not read 50 shades
Me neither, going, and I plan to keep it that way.
Ooo using one hand to text is good. I'd put I'm using one hand to text guess what the other one's doing?
Awww bless ds he sounds lovely My dss don't really do their hair. DS1 likes his messy and ds2 wears his short and it never seems out of place?
Good luck with the text. This may help? I especially like the second one, I know you're busy today, but can you add one thing to your to-do list? Me!
DS is fine getting up at 6.30 tbh.
He likes to take his time to do his hair get ready for school and has a long bus journey, so leaves early.
That and he makes me a cuppa at 7
Right.
Operation 'Horny text'
Lol! If I did that he would take the door off it's hinges with one of my many screw drivers he hordes up there (he's 11).
DH isn't doing anything too dangerous today so I will try to come up with a saucy message for him
Oh if you text him it'll definitely get him going He doesn't do a dangerous job though does he? You don't want him chopping anything essential off
How old is ds1? Can you put a hook and eye on the bedroom door if you start early morning shannanigans?
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Morning all
Unfortunately all did not go to plan last night.
It was going well.
I'd had some wine and we were both in bed, starting to have a bit of fun and I was primed and ready to tell him what I wanted when...............
Smallest person in the house woke up and wouldn't settle.
I had to lay down next to them until they went back to sleep, only i fell asleep with them!
I woke up just before 6 and of corse it was too late.
But today is a new day and I have more wine (for latter, I'm not a total lush!)
naaaaaaamechange
That was really helpful.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I hope my 'chat' with my DH goes as well as yours did.
Hello I have namechanged also (evidently!)
I would guess that we have some things in common. The thing that I like and often have to think about during sex is spanking. I'm really embarrassed by this for some reason and would be mortified if anybody found out in real life.
It took me ages to tell DP and I was so embarrassed I couldn't even look at him! But when I did he was totally nonplussed and confused about why I was so embarrassed about it, it seemed totally normal to him, even though he hadn't seriously gotten into it with anyone before. That just made me feel more embarrassed though because I thought he must be misunderstanding and thinking it was more of a dabbling thing whereas I wanted to explain that it's not just the thought of a slap on the arse during sex but an actual, drawn out pain-causing thing
Anyway, we tried it out (and giggled a lot!) and he found that he liked it also (which surprised him - he'd been worried about hurting me) and slowly it's progressed to be more, and we do it quite often now. Surprisingly, it doesn't dominate my thoughts any more and I can enjoy sex just for sex, which is nice too, but sometimes I just get the urge! It helps that he makes me feel positive about it and not wrong or deranged. We can just talk about it, there are no silly rules or playing around without words. I found that a lot on spanking forums etc people refer to "bratting" when they want their OH to spank them but are too embarrassed to ask, I'm not keen on this whole setup as to me it implies more of a control thing going on as a whole. Whereas roleplay is fine, I think it starts to get into muddy waters if you are doing a kind of role play constantly.
Anyway, my advice is tell him! You might be surprised :)
The feminist issue bothers me, I can see the argument against it, but it's such a specialised thing that it doesn't feel like he's "getting off on causing pain", it's more about the interaction and I guess seeing my reaction etc as well. I don't feel I'm letting the side down but I do feel that I can't be open about it and say, yeah, I do this, it's great.
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