unusal confession from boyfriend, not sure how i feel about it.

[howdidntithappen]

My boyfriend of 5 months confessed on Monday, that prior to Meeting me he had only had sex 5 times. He was a virgin until the age of 27, he is now 28.
I had no clue and would have guessed from his bedroom skills and confidence that he had been around abit.
He told me he has had offers but isn't interested in sex outside a relationship and that Seeinh as he hasn't had many he's not had much sex.

I dont know how I feel about this. On one hand it really doesn't matter nor make any difference. But on the other hand I just can't see how a man gets to 27 without having sex unless there is something wrong with him.

Does anyone have any views/ insight/ words of wisdom.

[bogeyface]

Mother I have shagged people I didnt want to introduce to myself , bloody beer goggles :o

[bogeyface]

I dont know that "not the type of girl to take home" is necessarily an insult, it could be that the "girl" has a body full of tatoos and piercings which would send mummy through the roof! Or she is a bit OTT and loud, or outspoken.

It could be anything that your parents wouldnt approve of and if that person is not someone you see yourself with long term, why deal with that when you dont need to?

That said, I do think that in the post above, it was probably referring to a woman in a slapperish way.

Lissie - With all due respect, I would....what?!

[motherinferior]

Oh god, I've shagged people I wouldn't have introduced to my friends, dammit.

[Margerykemp]

It's a line!

Have you not seen the Friends episode?

[LucieMay]

Honestly I'd find it a bit weird and a turn off.

[LissiesAWenlockLass]

What lrd said. Whenever I have heard a woman described as "not the type of girl to take home to mum" its an insult. Calling them cheap/a slapper/a slut... Take your pick.

[LissiesAWenlockLass]

What lrd said. Whenever I have heard a woman described as "not the type of girl to take home to mum" its an insult. Calling them cheap/a slapper/a slut... Take your pick.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

Mmm. 'Girl' is an odd word to use, and 'that type of girl' is a fairly well-known phrase. It doesn't mean 'person who's just fun to be with and I'm not serious about', it's a dig at someone's morals.

[kalidasa]

I didn't lose my virginity till I was 27 either, though I had quite a few relationships, including a couple of fairly serious ones, and I had done "everything but" with several partners. Is it possible he has had similar experiences? A relationship without PIV sex might actually be more creative/adventurous, hence him seeming experienced.

[javotte]

My husband "confessed" after 5 or 6 years together that he was a virgin when we met (he was 31).
I had only ever had sex 3 times, including a first time that was rape (when I was 22).
I wish he had told me earlier but I don't see anything wrong with either of us.

[MardyArsedMidlander]

You should watch 'The 40 year old virgin'. It's a very funny touching film. But how sad and depressing that people are seriously going 'IT'S A RED FLAG/ HE'S LYING'.

I mean, can you IMAGINE how embarassing it must be for a male to admit this to the woman he is sleeping with? And so what if he's ahem up for anything? He's obviously had a longer time to think about it! [grin}
And if you don't want him- please pass his number on....

[LissiesAWenlockLass]

Bogeyface, with all due respect, you would.

The op sounds v 50SoG to me.

[LissiesAWenlockLass]

Bogeyface, with all due respect, you would.

The op sounds v 50SoG to me.

[indiegrrl]

I was a virgin til my early twenties. Part shyness, part picky, and then it becomes harder as you get older and realise you'll have to let someone know it is your first time. Haven't had tons of sexual partners since, but the ones who know, incl DP of 10 yrs, have always been amazed because apparently I'm great in bed . Tho, actually, I've come to believe they think you are good in that dept precisely because they have very low expectations of what someone with limited experience would do so you easily surpass them . Talking to girlfriends who had sex at a younger age, I'd say we have the same sexual problems, and joys. I'm in my late 30s btw.

[bogeyface]

I think that people are being unfair about "the type of girl".

I have had boyfriends that my parents never knew about because I knew that a) it wouldnt last b) was just about fun, in and out of bed , c) they wouldnt approve. so given all that, why would I put either of us through the whole "this is my new BF...." ?

There are definitely men that you wouldnt introduce to your parents, so why wouldnt there be women that men wouldnt introduce?

[mercury7]

thinking about it having alot of partners could mean that a person is so sexually inept that no-one wants to give them a second go, so they have to keep finding new partners

[LissiesAWenlockLass]

What lrd said. It shows a real lack of respect for your sexual partners.

[Whenthetoadcamehome]

Howdidntithappen, I have slept with a guy who was very experienced and CRAP in bed and another who only had one partner before me and was hands down the best I have ever had. I think it depends on chemistry, instinct and mutual comparability rather than experience tbh!

DH was a virgin before me, I errrm wasn't. He was 23 and I didn't think it hugely unusual tbh, I rather liked that he'd waited for someone special, and that I was that someone! :o consider it a compliment, he's been saving all that awesomeness for you!

[FussArse]

He's had sex 5 times with the same woman and is now pulling advanced moves out of the bag including bondage and sex toys - after just 5 times. Jeez I'd be concerned
a) that he's lying - big red flag
b) if he's into that after having sex just 5 times, where's he going next for 'holiday treats'?

TBH I'd worry more about those things than his lack of partners.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

bouncy, I think there's a big difference between not being in a situation to introduce someone to your parents (eg., because you had a one-night stand, as lots of us do, because it's fun), and using the phrase 'not the type of girls'.

That rather implies there is a certain 'type' of girl you wouldn't ever introduce to your mum. Yet presumably this 'type of girl' is only doing what you do ... having sex with you ... so how come you think they're good enough for sex but not for other things?

[SwedishEdith]

I'm rather curious about what, exactly, he is doing that makes him "very,very,very good in bed"

[bouncyagain]

LRD Would you introduce everybody you sleep with to your parents? I suppose some people might. I wouldn't. I don't think that there is anything that is 1920s tea party about that, just that the people you might want to go to bed with are not necessarily people who should meet your parents.

[MadBusLady]

The "something wrong" line is bad choice of words, but yes I sort of see what you mean. It doesn't quite add up. It's not just the sex, it's the relationship part. If he doesn't have two heads, didn't grow up under a rock and is not an obvious late developer in terms of social skills etc, then why has he only had one previous relationship worthy of the name aged 27? That is slightly unusually late not to have been out with one or maybe two people semi-seriously, surely. Or am I just promiscuous odd? And why, given the seriousness he clearly attaches to the relationship bit, was it a relationship that only lasted long enough to have sex five times? What can that be, a couple of days? A week? A fortnight if you were very decorous about it?

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I don't think he's impossibly unusual, how. DH hadn't slept with anyone until he was 24. Most people in our generation obviously sleep with more people than that, I think the norm is something between 10 and 20, and so it is unusual, but it's not that unusual.

Some people are just good at sex. I've slept with men who weren't very experienced but were great, and with one bloke who'd slept with (he claims, and I should think it's true from knowing him) upwards of 50 women, and he was still, unfortunately, not my thing at all!

Why does it have to be an issue?

bouncy - women you wouldn't bring home to your mum? Really? Are we in a 1920s garden tea party?

[bouncyagain]

One was a witch (so she said) and a vegan. I might introduce a witch to my mother, but a vegan is probably a step too far... [joke]

The other one I can think of was really nice, but she was basically an alcoholic. Still vaguely in touch with her (not an alcoholic any more).