I just realised that I really like and fancy my dentist of many, many years. I don't see him often, once a year usually. In Last two weeks I saw him twice for check-up and then some work. I'm a nervous wreck with dental stuff, and I was just struck how gentle and nice he was. I started thnking that I'd like his touch generally 
. I think there is a bit of attraction from him, he looked at my body couple of times but also we make each other laugh. He used to be married and he generally never seriously registered on my radar as I was in other relationships, even though there was always a bit of rapoprt and I liked him, he's youngish, 40s, and used to look nice but this year he looks very rundown and thin, which is not putting me off, the opposite! He's also a small guy and I usually go for tall (I'm tall). I find myself thinking about him a lot, as so many men I've been with in the past lacked this sensitivity. Suddenly it's not about looks or social confidence, I just like his personal qualities and that makes me attracted rather than obvious outward sexiness!
How do I approach it? I don't have his email address and it's not on their site. He's very busy and a partner in practice. I want to find out whether he's separated or divorced. There are no photos of the wife anymore, but I need to know for sure. I don't know either whether he'd be interested but would want to take a chance.
Has anyone got examples of this working for you, or for a friend?
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attracted to my dentist, what do I do? try not to laugh..!
hisgentletouch · 20/02/2012 21:13
izzy - the note was last wek, BEFORE you could warn me off came on the thread 
. It had my email on it and was a tiny bit flirty but not obviously, and no asking out. Do you think that would play against me somehow?
The phonecall as someone suggested would be to ask him to call me back about some teeth issue, but yes, it's not great as he maybe put on the spot and not be alone when phoning.
izzy I did pm you for tips as you suggested, btw.
Yes, if in a pub, he's likely not to be on his own, so then what?
Grumpy - interesting! didn't know they were often OCD though not that surprised, but narcissists 
? hard to explain that, tbh, what then the life saving surgeons are like, if you mean 'self important'?! That's also my theory, and you proved it, that if a dentist is attracted and asked out he/she would rather transfer patient and go on a date. No I won't be a stalker, maybe stalkerish once or twice as per izzy's plan, just to give myself a chance to talk to him outside work, but if he's not interested or married, I'd never carry!
Hey spelling hisgentle and research.....does the rule me out as a journalist Red?
His gentle, as to how to approach it it depends on the situation, if you meet him ask him for a coffee (surely you won't be-able to resist)?!! ha ha. It is difficult and I know you don't want to do reasearch but it might help in finding out whether or not he's married. As for me, yes he now knows about me....tell you what that story on the last page inspired me and gave me hope!! 
. I won't ask too much of him no, the odd tweet keeps me happy...who know's what it will lead to...... Even just friendship would be nice!! .....I know, I know.....
RED- No I'm not!!!, AS hisgentle says my crush is young!!!!...the journalist bit...I will refrain from answering though!
You've sent him a thank you note? Jeez, you can't be left alone for 5 minutes, can you?
There's no way you can do a phone call now and that wasn't a good idea anyway as he'd likely not be able to come to the phone if he was attending to someone else's choppers a patient.
Lurking's the way to go and, happily,as it's central london you won't have any problem blending in with the crowd as you spy on the entrance to his practice and track him to the tube station/bus stop.
Regard your first outing as purely reconnaisance - that means absolutely no bumping into him accidentally on purpose as your brief is merely to time and watch his departure from work and follow him at a discreet distance - preferably on the other side of the road - to the bus stop or tube station or hostelry of his choice.
If it's a bus, simply note bus stop, time, number and destination. If it's the underground, you have permission to ascertain which line/direction but ONLY if it is feasible for you to do so without the subject's awareness.
If it's a pub, peer through the outside windows to ascertain whereabouts of subject and wait at least 10-15 mins to see if he's joined by another party before using your discretion as to whether you can confidently carry off a walk through to the bar, order a drink, look at your watch, check your phone, turn around and survey the room before catching sight of him and registering surprise...
Report back for debriefing and further orders. Synchronise watches ... 05.52am
Grumpy - thank you, just had a quick look, it's his surgery address (bugger). But at least I now know his second name if I want to look it up elsewhere.
Have you never fancied a date with any patient?
amelia - so your friend found out he's not married, and then didn't do anything? or did she ask him out and got a 'no'? I did send him a thank you note already with my e-mail address as the header, but chickened out of asking him, as I was told that notes get filed. I was hoping he'll acknowledge and to ask him then, but he didn't, it's been a few days. As I've been told here those notes are not seen as a come on. Yes, I will have to be direct, as I say it's between phoning (and saying smth like what you suggest) and izzy's plan.
Why don't you just put yourself out of your misery and be bold?
I think you will have to accept that you would have to find another dentist if it back fires.
Can you not just send him a thank you card and ask him out ? Say you would like to thank him, via a coffee or a lunch. Say that if he is married etc you do not want it to cause any embarrassment so you will understand.
he will either accept, or ignore, and whichever it is, you will have your answer.
You see even if you find out his status, it doesn't mean you would be any further on.
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