Can H throw me out?

[cavemummy]

Have namechanged as I don't want any RL friends to see this. After a row on Thursday evening where H made fun of me for planning to make some Christmas presents, as usual, things have totally blown out of proportion. Since then he has slept in the living room, not spoken to me at all and ignored DS (8 mths).

He has just come to me saying that the only thing to do is for us to seperate and that I should move out and find somewhere else to live.

He owns the flat and did so when I met him. No mortgage. We have been married for two years.

Can he do this?

I am on mat leave and would only have the statutory payment to cover everything for DS and I. I don't know where I would go. To my parents I suppose.

For the time being I have said that I am not going anywhere. He's really pushing me to go saying that we would both have to live here during the six months that a divorce would take.

Please help. What on earth do I do?

[sc2987]

This might be useful: england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/downloads_and_tools/relationship_breakdown

[piellabakewell]

I had to move out as ExH wouldn't and the mortgage wasn't in my name, only his. I used a solicitor to register my interest in the property as my matrimonial home, but this can only be done while you live there. The land registry will write to him and send a copy of the revised entry in the register. Somehow that letter never reached my ex . In our case, the house was our matrimonial home and had been bought as such during the early years of our marriage.

[cavemummy]

Really helpful everyone - thank you so much.

[FabbyChic]

It isn't half the assets at all. She has no claim on his flat. None. She never contributed to it a cent.

[Kayano]

I would be mighty pissed if I owned a flat outright, was married for 2 years then had to give half of it away. I thought length of marriage was relevant in that instant? It wasn't bought as a family home iyswim?

Not trying to disagree but honestly confused.

[QBEE]

How long have you actually been together OP?

[Eurostar]

What an awful thing to be going through with an 8wk old baby. Your "d"H sounds very irresponsible with regards to his son.

That Shelter page is excellent. Of course people are wrong saying you get 50% of the place. When I divorced, the automatic right was to 50% in the growth of assets since marriage, not sure if the law has changed.

This is all sadly going to have to be decided by a Court as to who stays in the home etc.. If he has been through a divorce before he presumably knows this so is trying to get you out asap without registering home rights?

[niceguy2]

When I met my ex, she was getting a divorce from her exH after a similar length in marriage and two kids.

Basically two years is a short marriage and the judge will try to put things back to how they were prior to marriage. That said the fact she has two kids will mean she'll be entitled to claim some money towards a new place as part of the settlement. It probably won't be a lot, certainly not 50-50 given the length of marriage. Obviously the final amount will depend greatly on his assets.

But deffo need proper legal advice on this one.

OP, are you sure its over? Is it too late to go to Relate?

[inatrance]

OP I'm so sorry that you are going through this but your H sounds like an abusive bullying arse and I honestly think you are well rid.

What sort of a man effectively makes his wife and baby homeless? Twat!

I definitely second seeing a solicitor for advice and personally I would be the one to petition for divorce on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour.

[cavemummy]

He won't go to relate or any other form of couples councelling as he says they always take one person's side and can be more damaging in the long run.

He wants to have a discussion this evening.

What an arse.

[lolaflores]

Funny how people make decisions about therapy when they have never experienced it or it didn't suit them.

Perhaps it might be an idea to have a person with you during the discussion to hear what he has to say. If this is his decision, then he can voice it in front of other parties. Let him bring someone too. You need alot of support right now, if you feel overwhelemed by him then get someone in your corner right now.

[teafanatic003]

to be quite honest as punitive as it would sound I'd would try and make it clear that his ignoring DS is revolting and as such you'll be lucky if you get a minute off access

he wants you to move out? I take it your DS main carer so basically hes not bothered about making his son homeless and ignoring and seeing him for 1 hr a week?

tell me to F'off if u want to but did he want this child?? maybe is that why hes behaving so dispicably??

[ShoutyHamster]

'I would be mighty pissed if I owned a flat outright, was married for 2 years then had to give half of it away. I thought length of marriage was relevant in that instant? It wasn't bought as a family home iyswim?

Not trying to disagree but honestly confused.'

I think a more realistic description of what has happened over the last two years is:

'I owned a flat outright, was married for 2 years and had a child which I am now jointly responsible for the upkeep of. My wife is now not earning as she is caring for our child. As I have stated my intention to only see the child once a week and thus take little caring responsibility, it looks like my 'half' of the necessary upkeep will come from revenue/a place to live provided by my asset - the flat. I will thus have to give half of it away, but in reality what is happening is I am being made to take responsibility for my child's welfare.'

He sounds like an arse. Too right you should stay in what has now become the family home. Hmm, his assets shouldn't be compromised after a 2 year marriage? Nothing to do with it - you have a child. The OP's earning power and independence are certainly compromised, aren't they - and will continue to be so, as he's proposing little functional support. He has to take some of the burden too. Stay put, OP, and get a good solicitor.

[IggyPup]

Fabbychic is incorrect regarding division of marital property. The courts will normally divide marital property taking a number of factors into consideration.

Here is an excellent forum that can offer good solid legal advice.

www.swarb.co.uk/phpbb/viewforum.php?f=15&sid=24904828afa98c2bf0d60daa053ec86c