Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck off with yourself.
There. Apologies for the language, but I had to get that out of my system and I think it's better to vent on MN than say it to her face. Or maybe not....
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to my Mother-in-law
33 replies
RingEir · 12/09/2011 17:22
OP posts:
Thumbwitch ·
14/09/2011 05:49
Sorry, didn't mean that last bit to sound as though you needed to calm down! 
- I meant more - wait until you no longer feel the need to tell her to fuck off whenever you see her before you let her return. Sorry.
Thumbwitch ·
14/09/2011 05:48
She sounds unbelievably ignorant and rude, tbh. I would have had a hard time letting her stay in the house any longer after that DS crack! 
Congratulations on your lovely baby - and good for you in terms of thinking of all the things he can achieve rather than limiting his possibilities.
Smile sweetly, bite your tongue until Wednesday and then don't let them come back for a good while until you've calmed down. :)
parentfailure ·
13/09/2011 18:22
Honestly, I would not worry about your MIL.
I agree with zero tolerance - but only going forward. You cannot change how your MIL THINKS she should feel about DS, but you can demand how she treats your son going forward.
I really am NOT trying to normalise your MIL PoV, but it is one that is reasonably widely held and she is probably worried too (Perhaps a bad way of showing her concern but still) I know that my grandmother was terribly concerned about my uncle, about how he would cope etc., without her and she 'protected' him. He didn't need to be protected. What he needed was to be allowed to grow like any other young man. She protected him until the day she died. ANd since then, he has lived independently (largely, as I said) and has a very active and happy life.
You are absolutely right -the sky IS the limit! Of course, there will be things that you need to consider but all of these things will come in time.
(ANd she will be gone tomorrow 
)
You will be able to go out at 4 in the morning if you wish
parentfailure ·
13/09/2011 14:56
I don't think you can change her opinion. I know that my grandmother (my uncle's mum) found it a terrible affliction and did her very best to try and ignore hte condition (which, of course, in the long run made life so much harder)
But, while certain things are 'different' having a DS person in the family can be an amazingly positive experience. So, OP, please always remember that there are as many positives as there are negatives
And congratulations. Killian is a lovely name.
RingEir ·
13/09/2011 12:34
Yes, it's our first child. To be fair, a lot of people of MILs generation see Down's as a terrible tragedy. I thought when she saw the baby (his name is Killian) she would change, but although she is crazy about him I can see that she still thinks it's a terrible affliction 
. Oh DH let her know alright, but I think it's better coming from him than me. Anyway, she never listens to anyone.
Yes many 
s are in order, and spending time on MN!
OP posts:
PercyPigPie ·
13/09/2011 12:11
She sounds vile - the DS comment is esp hurtful. Is your newest baby Down Syndrome? It is a horrible comment to make about any child, but particularly unnecessary if she is referring to you newest arrival. 
OP - hope you are OK.
RingEir ·
13/09/2011 12:05
Thanks very much for the support . TBH it's the telling me what to do stuff that gets on my nerves the most, but I felt for DH when she made the Down's comment. She is really not malicious, it's out of sheer ignorance; she has very provincial and old-fashioned ideas. As parentfailure says, people with DS now live much longer. The average life-expectancy is 50-60 yrs old now. onlyjoking thanks for your good wishes. He is my first child and he is fine thanks :) We were very lucky in that he has none of the major health problems associated with Down's. He is a healthy, very lively little boy who is chugging away at the breast as I write. That is another myth btw, that babies with DS can't breastfeed. It takes a bit of determination and perseverance but we are getting there.
Oh, one more thing, she keeps coming in to our bedroom! 
OP posts:
RickGhastley ·
13/09/2011 06:51
She sounds vile and you have the patience of a saint.
Congratulations on the birth of your DS, don't let the old cow spoil your happy days with him and DH.
if you can when she leaves!
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parentfailure ·
13/09/2011 06:26
She is wrong re. the DS point.
I have a 50YO DS uncle who lives (largely) independently (Mental state going a little bit south now, so in sheltered accomodation, but I swear he has a better social life than I do!)
Also a bit at the Hamilton comment... but then I find Alonso a god-bothering-blubbing-arse with an ego the size of Brazil
FWIW, I think ranting on here, rather to her face, is the best option. She'll be gone tomorrow and it will be better to have not fallen out with her.
TheRealMBJ ·
13/09/2011 05:55
Wow at the Down's comment.
I would be tempted to tell her to fuck off to her face. She's wrong anyway!
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