Dh and I have been together 11 years. We have two dc a baby and a 3 y/o.
When pregnant with my second dc, dh joined a band this is purely a hobby. It pissed me off that he committed himself to practice 3 times a week knowing we were about to have our second dc. I also had spd and pre eclampsia so felt there was a lack of support there. We talked about it (I would/have never asked him not to do something and this is no exception). However I did feel that it was unfair on me as he already plays sport once a week and often goes to watch football on a Saturday. Therefore he is out 4-5 times a week as well as working 5 or sometimes 6 days a week. On top of this he often complains when at home of feeling tired. He has little to no interest in sex. I feel like we are in a loveless marriage.
After we talked when I was pregnant, band practice was reduced to twice a week. Something I still find hard to cope with especially as one of these days is a Sunday and this used to be a family day.
On Sunday I am returning to work after having 10months mat leave. I am going back working Sun, Mon, Tues night. So this means sun, mon, tues i'm at work. Wed he is at band practice, Thursday he plays sport. Friday blank. Saturday football, Sunday band practice and me at work at night.
We have had numerous discussion about this, in which he has said 'if you ask me I will stop, but I could resent you for it' so I cannot ask him to stop.
So I took the hard decision before christmas to not mention it again. Some weeks it doesnt matter. Other weeks it makes me so mad that I am on my own a lot of the time.
I love this man a lot. I know he loves me but we have become loveless with one another. I feel we have lost respect. I have put on a lot of weight I am 5 foot and weigh 14.5st!! I am deeply unhappy. But dont want us to break up however I do dream of what things would be like if weren't together. I know he isn't going to give things up for us. So I have no choice to accept it and live with it, or break up, right?
I want to add he is an excellent dad. He always baths the dc with me and we always eat as a family together, bedtime story together and as soon as the kids are in bed at 7pm he goes out to his various things. I know he isn't having an affair as, he goes to footy with my dad, plays sports with mutual friends, and in a band with mutual friends.
I just dont know what to do and am very sad. Any advice/opinons appreciated, even if you think IABU.
(I have name changed for this although I am sure if anyone I know reads this, they will totally know who I am...please dont say anything to me or anyone about it..thanks)
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Relationships
Are we over? (long and pouring my heart out post)
Wossisface · 21/06/2011 21:01
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