If you have or had a good relationship with your Dad, come and tell me about it

[BertieBotts]

Because I'm not sure I know what one is like :( and I think I should, for DS' sake. And I'm interested :)

My Dad is my absolute here, my benchmark for what I expect from men (hence taking a long time to settle down) He was run over by a train as a little boy and lost half his foot, spent a year in hospital with other complications and so missed so much school. Never let it stop him, he worked so hard all his life and built a successful business he still runs. He is fair, honest, kind, patient, funny, loves life, golf, wine, chocolate but his family most of all.

I would fight lions for him, as he would for all his children. I too dread the day he is no longer here.

It makes me sad when people say children don't need fathers, they survive without them of course, and no one needs bad fathers, but a good dad enriches a childs life immeasurably.

my dad died a few years ago now but he was a brilliant dad, he was the one person who i could always count on to tell me the truth not always what i wanted to hear lol but he was always right.he was always there for me even as an adult he never stopped being a parent and always had the ability to make me feel special,fussed over and loved.

Wonderful post PeppermintPasty.

My dad is an amazing man, ready to be an uttter buffoon one minute, and then sit down and talk through your serious problems the next. He has the capacity to be so gentle that scared and sick animals/children inherently trust him (really), which makes him a great father. As a child I knew that he would comb my hair without snagging it (he became chief hairdresser in our house) and be on splinter-removal & grazed knee duty - someone to go to when upset or afraid or feeling like you've embarrassed yourself and it's the end of the world. He plays the guitar and used to make up songs for my brother and I, and tell the best stories. In a practical sense he used to help us with schoolwork, take us to and from school, take us out for long walks to tire us out, bath us and put us to bed. He and I would do the supermarket shop every week, and like catinthehat2's dad would have me mixing cement/painting cupboards/sanding wood from the minute I was able to. When I was a teenager he would pick me up from the pub drunk late at night and never said a word about it, and he stuck up for me against my mum when I wanted to be allowed to stay over at my boyfriend's house or some other measure of independence. When I got into university to study the subject he loved he couldn't have been any prouder - he never got the chance to go and I know he is so happy that I did, and it's as if he shares in all the things I achieve.

A good dad, to me, is a man who loves his children above everything and for all time, for themselves rather than as an adjunct to the relationship with their mother. He should want to spend time with them, to learn about the people they are, to involve them in what he does and teach them the things he knows.

He's, above everything else, a very nice, kind man. I don't remember him specifically complimenting me, but was always aware that he thinks I'm great. He's very patient, very funny and always calms things down. I have always known that he loves me. In my family, my mum can be critical and difficult, although she's mellowed a lot, but my father cancelled her influence out just because I knew he loved me. He can be a bit grumpy nowadays because he's getting on, but he's still wonderful!

I was a total Daddys Girl. My father came from a culture where Education, Education, Education was the mantra and indulged my every educational whim. My mother taught me to read very early and encouraged learning through adventure.

My Dad's my best friend, he is unconditionally supportive, gets more excited than me at every success and retains faith in me when I think I'm a failure. I love him more than anyone and I ask him for advice on everything no matter how strange (aside sex, that would be hideous). He brought me up on my own when my DM died from cancer when I was 7 and I am an only child so we have a particularly close relationship. He never moved on from her, partly because she was amazing and noone compares but also because it would have been hard for me when I was young. I couldn't ask for more in a Father and tonight he is coming up to London so I can take him and my DP for dinner.

I wanted to post because i truely believe my Dad saved my life.

My "mother" (to put it lightly) never wanted me or my brother. My dad fought for custody of us. We lived with her for a year after they split i believe. I was 3 when she "effed" off, my brother was 2.

My dad brought us up on his own until i was 6, he went out to work and gave us whatever he could. Even though some of his clothing choices for me were a bit.. dodgy . I remember when i was 3 and he taught me to write my name on the back of an envelope with a booky ben.. :)!
Some of my best memories from when i was young was when me, my Dad and my younger Brother would sit and watch films for hours, or just spending evenings play fighting with my Dad :).
My Dad, has, and always will be my Hero. I couldn't even put into words how much i love that man. If he had left us with her, i honestly don't know where i would be today.

Then when i was 6, he met my Angel :), my step Mum. I could not have asked for a better Mum growing up, she is still to this day my best friend :).
And i owe it all to my Dad for taking care of us and making sure we were safe and then choosing the most amazing wife and mum i could have ever dreamed of!

These are lovely stories :) Thanks for sharing :)

That was meant to say "booky PEN"*

I love my dad to pieces. He's so kind and funny and clever. He's so talented at playing the guitar and he can speak a few languages too. He adores all animals, even creepy crawlies, and has a David Attenborough-esque fascination with them. I remember on holidays as a child being told to come and examine some bizarre looking bug or beetle.

His marriage to my mum was very difficult because she was an acoholic car crash nightmare. We supported each other (and my bro, too - I could start a whole other thread about how amazing he is) and are incredibly close because of that.

I look up to him and respect him. His word is final; if he doesn't like someone or something, then I will X person or thing out of my life because I trust my dad's judgement completely.

Having said that, his fashion sense leaves a lot to be desired, as do his interior decorating skills. He's generally a bit disorganised and gets distracted from essential tasks (like fixing the roof or something) very easily (usually by guitars :)), so I do have to boss him around and in all these areas he is always happy to defer to me. I do enjoy telling him what to do sometimes :o

He is the best template for a partner I could have hoped for and because of him I am now with my DP, who reminds me so much of all my father's amazing qualities.

I cannot bear to imagine a life without him in it tbh.

My dad died 16 years ago, and oh I miss him still.
I now know-because of my children's problems, he was probably severely dyslexic, he had such difficulties with spelling and exams, and school for him was an absolute nightmare, but somehow he was worldly wise and full of knowledge-you would definately want him as a 'phone a friend'
I know too now from talking to them, how my cousins envied me, all of them adored 'Uncle Bob' my darling dad. My friends all liked him too. He had time and energy to invest in everybody.
Always had time and energy to play when we were young, was supportive and helpful through out my teens. Always there. I know now that there were money difficulties when I was young, but I can't remember any unhappy times as a child. He and my mother gave us a magical childhood.
Somehow he managed to instill self discipline and desire to succeed in me, without shouting or any other negative messages. Everything was based on focussing on the positive.
He is the rock that my confidence and my self belief is built on. His is the life philosophy that my successful family life and relationship with my children is based upon.
He always told me that there wouldn't be much money when they were gone, apart from the house to share with my sister. But what they gave us was beyond price. Giving a child unconditional love as he did, is literally priceless.

He was a wonderful grandfather, adored by his grandchildren, who like me will think of him always with great gratitude and love.

Bobby Coles, I miss you so.

"would move heaven and earth for his kids if there was a crisis". So true.

My dad is many things and we have a very close relationship, there were time in my teens when we didn't speak, but I soon grew out of it. He's always been there when needed and when I didn't think he was needed. I always knew he didn't like my ex but he never once told me I was doing the wrong thing (I sort of knew but wouldn't admit it), but he was there to pick up the pieces when it ended very badly.

I can understand where many of the other posters are coming from as I feel the same and what I would say would just be repeating what others have already said, but one incident will always stand out that happened a few years ago:

I was going through a really bad spell, drinking a lot, sleeping around, feeling suicidal (although I never told anyone). My boys were the only thing stopping me driving full pelt into a motorway bridge then one night I was at my absolute lowest I was curled up on the sofa with alcohol crying wishing I didn't have children or parents so that I could just get the kitchen knife and cut myself open when my dad phoned. This was about 9pm so I thought something must be wrong as due to his working hours he is in bed at 7pm. I answered and he wanted to know that I was ok as he had a feeling something was wrong. I told him all was fine, I'd speak to him later. He seemed to accept that and we hung up. About 2 minutes later the phone rang again, it was my dad he said "Now do you want to convince me you really are ok as I'm just getting dressed and coming over". I just broken down, he did the 40 minute drive in about half that time. I just collapsed into his arms when he arrived and then we sat on the settee for about half an hour with me sobbing like a little girl. My mum didn't get it all, she just sat there looking bemused. God knows how my dad knew but I'll remember it forever and be so grateful to him for saving me from myself.

Also, he was the most patient patient when I was little and wanted to play nurses. He knew how to fold a piece of paper so it looked exactly like one of those old fashioned nurse's hats. There are numerous old photos of a 3 year old me pinning him to the floor and shoving a toy thermometer in his gob while he lies there with this long suffering look on his face!

And he read the best bedtime stories too. He used to do different voices for each character and sometimes would get up and pace around my bedroom acting out the scenes as he read.

26minutes.. that brought a tear to my eye. Amazing. :)

Awww 26minutes your story made me well up. Dads are fucking awesome.

One last thing and then I'll shut up, promise :o

He has always assumed that I will be successful at whatever I do, even when I've doubted my own abilities. He's never ever told me I couldn't do anything and his unerring belief in me has meant I've achieved many things in my life that I'm very proud of.

While I'm still secretly amazed by the simple fact that I remember to buy loo roll and can change a fuse if I need to; I genuinely think he thinks I could rule the world if I put my mind to it.

oh blimey, i'm a bit weepy. shouldn't have come back on here while at work!

can i mention my granddad

he and my nan raised me from when i was 4. he did everything a dad would and for the first few years stayed at home while my nanny was still working. he was in his 70's and used to walk me to and from school everyday, he would cook for my friends when they came round (no one makes better home made chips) and take us to the park or up to see the changing if the guards.

he was a wonderful man (could be very grumpy at times), our whole family fell apart and he held us all together. he died 15 years ago i still miss him and never felt such pain when he died but very thankful he was my granddad.

my dad well i love him but never had any contact with him growing up, now we get on well but he is not really my father my granddad was and always will be

my dad was lovely

my mum used to say he would get us the top brick off the chimney if we asked for it

he never judged us when we cocked up, never once raised his voice, let alone his hand to us and he worked bloody hard to give us nice things. The best dad.

What a lovely thread. I am also blessed with an amazing dad, who has always loved me unconditionally, especially when I least deserved it.

My childhood is full of happy memories

There's not a day goes past when I don't miss him, he's the only man I could trust, one that never hurt me although I know there were times when I was younger, that I hurt him.

When I got married, he told me also I didn't have to go through with it.......wished I had listened!

When I moved away to live, he used to send me letters, with £50 in and a note saying, this is for you and you only, he knew my ExH would have taken it given half the chance.

The day I phoned him and said dad I want to come home, he shut up the shop, and drove 6 hours to pick me and DS1 up, and when my mum said where have you been? He said Sal needed me, but all she needs now is some sleep, questions can come later, he always said he knew I would come home, and he couldn't wait as he never liked my ExH, he never judged me or my brothers.

He taught me to fly fish, and my son who he adored, he was his father figure too, DS1 misses him every day.

I am so proud that he was my dad, and I'm glad that I was with him till the end.

my dad is the best man I have ever met.

He came and got me and DS in the middle of the night 6 years ago when I couldn't take anymore from violent xp and gave up his bed for 4 months while I got sorted.

He is DS's main role model now and if he turns out half as good as dad I'll be so proud.

He does so much for all his family that there's no way we'd ever be able to repay him.

I love you dad xx

This thread is making me laugh, smile & cry in equal measures.

can I just add, dad's just put up 2 wardrobes at 4.30 after a day at work. he didn't have to as was in no rush but he was. love my daddy. :)

I have a very dear Pa too, who is heading for his 85th birthday next month.

Things that make him so good:

• when I was small & demanding, & it was bedtime, I would say 'tell me a story' and he would offer to read me one, and I would say 'NO! out of your head!' and he would do it. What patience! What effort! - I couldn't do that for my children

• when I was bigger & got myself in muddles over things (boys, exams, whatever) I would find myself just spilling everything to him, and he would simply say 'yes, I can see why you feel like that' (psychologists call it "validating") until I got myself together to see what was going on. Then he would tell me how wise I was for resolving it all

• when I was a teenager he once made a remark that made it sound as if he might be homophobic. I told him off furiously, and he listened, and if he had been prejudiced before I think he totally changed his ways. (A parallel - he was a judge (before he retired) and I remember him telling us about a case on appeal - all appeal judges read each other's judgments before they're delivered, and he'd been reading another's, and he said "I've just been reading X's judgment, and, you know, he's completely convinced me". Always always someone to listen, weigh up, and with no sort of agenda or pride about someone else being right. Moral compass, is the phrase, I think.)

On the other hand, I think sometimes living with such a beloved person is not so easy for my Mum, as people do rather automatically take his side.