What would you think?

[iambach]

If you were friends with someone of the same sex and they knew you were happy with same sex relationships and they were flirty with you, Like play fighting and holding onto your hand a little too long, hugging you a little longer than normal, and just generally being loving and flirty would you still presume because thay claim to be 'heterosexual' that it was purely innocent and nothing in it?

And if this person felt you were 'connected' in a spiritual kind of way would it raise an eyebrow if they suggested you were maybe once 'married'? surely if you had only platonic feelings for someone you'd be more likely to think we could have been 'sisters'. I mean why 'married'? Is it just me, am i looking too hard.

[RandyRussian]

IMO you've got 2 choices - to make a move and risk losing a friend or do nothing and always wonder.

Probably not much help but that's what I think.

Good luck.

[iambach]

duellingfanjo this is exactly my worry. But just to make the picture as clear as poss, i have told her it makes no dfference to me man or woman, it is the person for me. sex is irrelavant. I have spoken to her about my feelings ie i wonder why i have such strong feelings for her, she knows how i feel without a doubt SURELY she would consider this and try not to encourage these feelings to grow if they are not reciprocated.

[DuelingFanjo]

I think it's easy to project what you want onto someone else so sometimes what may just be simple affection from someone else can be misinterpreted as more.

[iambach]

i wouldn't make ANY physical moves on her. I would maybe speak tp her but well finding the words isn't easy. I know she feels connected, i know we are good friends and i know she treats me different to the other friends she has, that i know. I have no idea what id ask. I know she loves me, she knows i love her and actually i have no desire to do anything overtly sexual with her i suppose i just want to know if she feels like i do

[PosieParker]

I think she may have ideas about you but no idea how to start, perhaps she wants you to have the responsibility of the first move....this may turn out to be the last thing she wants or the only!!!! Tis nothing more than a love minefield!!!

[iambach]

duelingfanjo can i ask why?

I mean most heterosexual friends of mine don't touch my face when they greet me, hug me all the time in a long and embracing way, hold my hand at every given opportunity, and generally just flirt outrageously. I just think if someone liked me and i thought i definitely didn't like them in the same way id be very careful what signals i was giving out because i won't want to encourage them.

[DuelingFanjo]

"would you still presume because thay claim to be 'heterosexual' that it was purely innocent and nothing in it?"

yes.

[iambach]

the being married thing was just ANOTHER thing that makes me wonder. Id say the touchy feelyness is the main thing. HAving flirted ALOT with men throughout my life i can honestly say if this was a man i'd be 100% sure he wanted me in a 'not just pals' kinda way!

[ValiumSingleton]

I don't know if it means anything. I have described my children's relationship to friends jokily as being like a really bad marriage.

[iambach]

i am not plannng any other moves at all. The only move i would plan is to speak to her and im not sure what that would achieve. I almost wonder if she isn't sure of what she feels iykwim.

I know she talks of finding the right man but i have never known her to be connected to a man except in a father and child kind of way yet i know she has been close to other females and describes her relationship with one of them being like husband and wife but i know she doesn't mean they were physical.

I don't know why i even need answers to this i guess i just worry that i have stuff in my head and i am reading her wrong because of how I feel, but i think i make how i feel pretty obvious and so with this in mind, if she doesn't feel the same i think she needs to consider her body language because lots of things she does i think are way too intimate to be saying 'back off'.

[atswimtwolengths]

She's never had a relationship with either sex and she's giving you ambiguous signals? I'd wait a while and see. I wouldn't make a move right now.

[CelticBanshee]

"I don't have any desire to molest her in anyway just wonder what is going on in her head really, not sure why i think anyone other than her would know the answer though!"

There ya go.. speak to her

[iambach]

I don't have any desire to molest her in anyway just wonder what is going on in her head really, not sure why i think anyone other than her would know the answer though!

[CelticBanshee]

Drop the hand and see how she reacts

[iambach]

i always thought this person was gay but infact they have never had a relationship with either sex. But if i hadn't asked i would think without a doubt she was encouraging me in a more than just friends kinda way.

[CelticBanshee]

If she's definitely heterosexual, she might just like the idea of you wanting her?

I flirt with everyone, men and women, am dead straight though!

[freedomfrom]

if this were a girl i can see that there are some girls out there that may be, well if your gay why dont you fancy me kinda thing. but yet not be gay themselves. however may be leading you on a bit to test the waters.
other than that maybe wanting to be experimental?