Nice house, no money, small house, money! Wwyd?

[BLACKTUESDAY1]

Currently live in a lovely home but struggling and have no spare cash for holidays etc. Could sell and downsize to a smaller house in not so nice area but have cash to go out more and take dcs on holidays. Totally in love with my current home and sad at the thought of selling but fed up with being skint! WWYD?

[dunraven]

Agree with the PP, you already live in a lovely home in a nice area. You would regret downsizing to a less nice area unless you are reaching the point that you simply cannot afford your mortgage payments.

Personally, I would sacrifice costly holidays (which I see as a luxury, not an essential) and the coffees/meals, etc for a nicer home. You spend more time in your home than you would do going on holidays or going out.

You need to batten down the hatches - focus on where you can save money and look at options to increase your income. Saving more for a financial cushion makes you worry less and you get used to spending less which is no bad thing.

[QuiteUnfitBit]

Could you rent out a room? We did that when the children were small. Something like £7k is tax free now. Moving is so expensive.

[fizzthecat1]

Small house money

[MinniesAndMickeysNeedCounting]

Op we've been having a very similar dilemma ourselves.

We'd like to live the life we have and have holidays, days and meals out but we love our home and are struggling to make a decision, much like you we decide on one thing then go round tying ourselves in knots.
Currently decided to stay in the home we love (this changes almost daily)

[OlennasWimple]

I wouldn't move to an area that I didn't like if I didn't have to.

[TheBadTemperedLadybird]

I'd stay put IIWY too, you like your house, it'll cost £££ to move
Can you reduce your outgoings or increase your income? Take a lodger?

[BLACKTUESDAY1]

Again thank you for the reply and sorry for other posters in a similar position. We have no spare room for a lodger. Our house is big as in room proportion instead of number of. The dcs love it here and their rooms are decorated just as they want them. One of them says they'd be happy to move but the other one doesn't want to. We are mostly terrified we'd regret it if we sold. We are very very unlikely to have such a nice house again but then we are struggling a bit financially and both on the wrong side of 40!

[chocolatespiders]

Could you rent out of your current house to soneone and you rent something smaller to see how you feel in a different house.

[MamaOfTwos]

Downsizing with children doesn't seem a smart move to me I'm afraid. When you say afford holidays, can you currently afford a week on the coast somewhere? Or do you want foreign holidays and expensive days out? It's all relative and fun is what you make it

[Hotbot]

I would doo size, make memories, have something out by to help out the kids when they need it, education, car, house?
Make it work for you, it's glib but rye saying ,
Home is the people and love in it not the ticks and mortar.
If dh doesn't work much in winter could he turn his hand to developing a house that's a bit run down and making it somewhere yuo love.Time for a bit of positivity I think .
Wrong decisions are often made for the right reasons at the right time , I don't envy your choice but children living in a home where parents are constantly concerned about financings is not great

[ItMustBeBedtimeSurely]

I think you would sorely regret it if you gave up a house you love. And having a too small house is no joke. We upsized a couple of years ago and it's made such a difference to have more space - fewer arguments etc.

Your house is an investment, I'd say keep hold of it. Unless you're so skint that you have barely enough money to buy food and pay bills.

Not to mention moving to a worse area - this is a big deal, especially if you have teenagers.

[whiskyowl]

Small house and money, every single time (this is the decision we made with our lives, and we have never, ever regretted it). You will need to treat is as a downsizing exercise, though, and actually get rid of stuff then exercise restraint about buying lots of new things - there is nothing worse than a house that is too small for the amount of stuff in it. Marie Kondo is great for this.

[whiskyowl]

Oh, and the extra money is fantastic - we can eat out whenever we want at the nicest places, we go away many times a year, we can indulge our hobbies and buy nice things for friends and family. I feel so much richer in a small space than I ever would scrimping on pennies in a large one. I don't move in the kind of circles where Keeping Up With the Joneses is a thing, though - most of my friends are writers, musicians and artists- so it's a no-brainer for me.

[lavenderlily]

If you might struggle to get a mortgage in the future I definitely wouldn't sell.

[whiskyowl]

Oops, just thought of something else - I think it's highly likely that we will see multiple interest rate rises over the next year; one in November is just about certain now after yesterday's figures on inflation. If you're on a tracker mortgage, expect your payments to go up by 0.25%. I don't think they'll do anything drastic because wages are lagging behind inflation, which squeezes domestic budgets, but I wouldn't be surprised if we see an incremental rise of 1-2% over the next 12-18 months. God only knows what will happen after that with Brexit - this is a huge uncertainty for anyone considering their finances at the moment.

[LillianGish]

Can I just say (and I think there was a thread about this in the past) I absolutely hate the expression “making memories”. You don’t need to have lots of spending money sloshing around to have great memories and you don’t have to consciously go out and do stuff to put on your memory wall as if it were some extension of your Facebook page. The thing with memories is you never know what will stick in your mind anyway - it’s just as likely to be happy family Christmases in your childhood home, having friends for sleepovers, playing in the garden, family nights in with pizza and a film. Growing up in a house you absolutely love is what great memories are made of - a lovely warm feeling of being happy to be home (not something that can easily be encapsulated in a Facebook montage, but worth much, much more than that). I think if you are absolutely skint and can’t afford the mortgage repayments then that’s one thing - go ahead and downsize, but if you are just a bit stretched and cutting your cloth accordingly then I’d stay put.

[whiskyowl]

Travel is so much more than memories, though. Learning about other cultures, seeing the most breathtaking (and varied) landscapes, witnessing amazing architecture, art and culture. There are things you can't learn remotely or in a book or online - things like the texture of a Van Gogh in Amsterdam, the smell and feel of Manhatten in the snow, the staggering landscaping of a Japanese temple that can only be appreciated by walking through it, the sight of eagles soaring in the white mountains of Skafia, or the sound of the Suffolk coast in reality, and its reflection in Benjamin Britten's music. To exchange all the amazing experiences our wide, wide world can offer for a big house is an act of voluntary self-impoverishment that I just can't understand. It's like the attitude of the last men and women, who are tired of life, take no risks and seek only comfort and security.

[notacooldad]

If you are moving to enable you to have holidays then I would think again- you would be hone for 50 weeks of the year and on holiday for 2 (ish) - its a no brainer

Not necessarily. Most people I know get more than 2 weeks holiday! I get 6 weeks plus bank holidays and go away for virtually everyone.
However its not just about money for holidays, its having spare money for trips out and having spontaneous fun.
I'd rather something smaller and have a fun life with my family than watching money and not being able to do things.

[LillianGish]

I have no objection to travel, just the expression “making memories” - as if only certain memories are valid (and those are ones that come at a cost). I’ve lived all over the world with my kids, but it is interesting that many of their happiest childhood memories are domestic ones.

[whiskyowl]

Ohhh, I'm so sorry Lillian, I totally misread your post!

And yes, I agree with you. It's a bit sick-making. "Making memories" and "forever home" are two of my least favourite Mumsnetisms. Both are often used to justify some odd prioritisations too!

[LillianGish]

I hate “Forever Home” - probably because I can’t imagine ever having one (though fortunately my mum does and I always refer to it as home - much to the confusion of my kids - as in “We’re going home for half term” “Oh, I thought we were going to granny’s”)

[whiskyowl]

Yes! When I hear "forever home", in about 80% of cases it's a justification for "eternal debt"!! (Plus, how many of us can honestly, hand-on-heart say that we aren't going to get old, have mobility issues, and need different accommodation).

[NameChange30]

I agree with Lillian

[OlennasWimple]

Yy, Lilian. My best childhood memories aren't the holidays and places that we went, but the small, mundane yet magical stuff like watching tadpoles growing legs having been spawn in the pond only a short while ago